Introduction: Today are our top ten tips for educating children. For example, some parents think that their children should be spanked if they make mistakes, and they should be scolded if they make mistakes. This is a concept of education, a concept of education, and this can als

Introduction: Today are our top ten tips for educating children. When he talks about the Dharma of the mind, there are two questions that need to be discussed with everyone. What is the Dharma of the mind, and why do we need to talk about the Dharma of the mind? The first question is, what is the Dharma of the mind? That is, the ideas, concepts and cognition levels we use to educate our children. For example, some parents think that their children should be spanked if they make mistakes, and they should be scolded if they make mistakes. This is a concept of education, a concept of education, and this can also be called a mental method. Then there are some parents who think that children cannot be praised. Why? Because children will feel happy when they are praised, so many parents in China never praise or affirm their children when they do well, but they criticize them vigorously when they do poorly. Finally, you find that this child I am becoming less and less confident, and I am becoming more and more inferior, right?

Of course, this is also a concept for us, as well as a concept and cognition. We call it mind. So why do you want to talk to everyone about the Dharma? Well, many parents may directly say, Teacher Wang, you don’t need to tell me about your mentality and concepts. You don’t need to tell me these things. I understand the truth. Just tell me directly. I Kids nowadays, right? Now I have difficulty concentrating. How can I solve this problem? My child is now in puppy love. How can I solve this problem? My child doesn’t like to study now. Just give me a way and tell me how to solve it. This is a bit like when we went to the hospital to see a doctor, and the doctor told us, now let you go for one, two, and three, you go for these three examinations. After the examination, I will come back to confirm the follow-up treatment for you. We will talk to the doctor directly. Doctor, I don’t need to do the examination. You can directly determine the treatment for me, tell me to give me a medicine, or give me some medicine. I'll give you an infusion, and then I'll be fine. If the doctor doesn't do an examination and doesn't know the cause of the disease, then there's a 90% chance that it will only get worse with treatment, right? ? Because you don’t even know the cause of the disease and how to treat it, the same goes for children. If a child has difficulty concentrating, there may be many reasons behind it. So only by finding out the reason behind it can we prescribe the right medicine like a doctor and cure the disease, right? Well that's about it.

Do you think the mental method is important? It’s actually very important, why? Because Master Xin’s method of internal strength is external method , but the method many parents seek is external method . Everyone thinks it is the inner method. Which internal strength is more important or external method is more important? In fact, both are important. But if I could only choose one, it would definitely be internal strength. Why do you see in our ancient martial arts novels or martial arts TV series, the secret books that everyone in the martial arts community is vying for are all superior internal skills and mental methods, such as the Palm of the Tathagata, the Nine Sun Magic Technique, and Dragon Subduing Eighteen palms, are these all excellent internal skills and mental methods?

Because for a person who studies martial arts, if there are only methods and moves, then if you punch out, others will say that this person is a fancy person. Flower stand, right? Because you don’t have the strength to fight, why don’t you have the strength? Because you don’t have any inner strength, so educating your children is the same. If you are purely taught a method, that is, you purely direct the moves, then you will not be able to use them and you will not get any results.Only after you have mastered the inner strength, these concepts, these concepts, and these basic things, can you achieve the effect when you use them, right? So why is it said that if there is only one, then it can only be internal power, not external power? Because you will find that the real top masters all have very high internal strength, so they may not need to build it, right? He may move a number and use it as an arrow. Why? Because there is ,

supported by internal strength, even if we don’t understand some methods, but we have a very, very high understanding of this inner strength cultivation, our basic concept, this concept and cognition, for When it comes to educating children, you will find that we don’t need to teach you methods at all. We will generate many methods in our own lives. Of course, we will talk about many methods later, so this brings us to the point that the mind method is internal power, and the method is external power. Therefore, internal strength is the Tao, and external strength is the art, so the mental method is the art. Only when we combine education with education can children get twice the result with half the effort, and only then can we provide children with a good education. This is why we will talk about this method. Because he is very important. Let’s talk about the first mental method first. There are deep reasons behind all children’s behaviors.

Mental Methods - : - There are deep reasons behind all the behaviors of children.

Why do children lie? Why feel inferior? Why do you fall in love early? There must be deep reasons behind why you play truant, why you don’t like studying, etc. For example, lying. I often tell a little story. I said that there was a group of children standing in line on the playground, and there was a child who was particularly eye-catching. Because other children were wearing T-shirts, he was the only one wearing a woolen sweater, so others asked him, others said acne , acne , why are other children wearing T-shirts? , but you are wearing a woolen sweater? This child was very helpless and looked at the sky and said this sentence, he said , hey ! There is a kind of coldness called your mother who thinks you are cold.

Then we may feel funny when we hear it, right? But do scenes like this often happen in our lives? Many times we think of children and then tell them to get dressed. But actually he said I wasn't cold. In fact, we adults all know that our children's body temperature is slightly higher than that of adults. So sometimes we wear a piece of clothing and it feels just right, but what if we touch our child's back? He is sweating, so the child says he is not cold. This is his true feeling and thought. We feel cold is also our true feeling. There is nothing wrong with this. But what is the fault of our parents? We shouldn’t impose our own thoughts and feelings on our children, right? We think we can bear it, so we think we can put it on him, but in fact this is wrong.

Then if the child doesn’t put on clothes, we may start to threaten him. If you don't obey me, I won't love you anymore. If you don't behave, my mother won't want you anymore.So you will find that the child puts on the clothes immediately, then our faces will change immediately , Hey, this is the mother's good baby, so that the mother likes you, right? But do you know what a child’s mental journey is like? He will find out that it doesn't matter what my feelings and thoughts are, right? Because I express my true feelings, I am not cold, and my mother will lose her temper, so it is not important how I feel. What is important is that I obey my mother's wishes, because I obey my mother's wishes once and for all. started to smile playfully at me again, started to like me again, and started to want me again. So you will find that this child may become more and more obedient, but he may also learn to lie. Why?

Psychologically speaking, a person's first lie comes from a sense of self-protection. That means he wants to protect himself. Then he believed that the cost of telling the truth was relatively high, so he chose to tell lies to avoid the risk. He couldn't face the consequences of telling the truth, could he? So this may be one of the reasons for lying. So who does this reason have to do with? Is it related to our parents? To give another example, what other possible reasons might there be for lying? The child accidentally broke a cup today, right? Then we may be very angry, ah, the one here is so beautiful, so good-looking, why are you so careless? He was broken into pieces and scolded the child. Then if your child breaks a bowl next time, will he still say that he broke it? He won't, he will tell a lie. Because you were scolded for breaking the cup last time, and you will be scolded again for breaking the bowl this time. So I choose to avoid risk, right? This is also one of the reasons why you may lie. It is also possible

Today, you have a gathering with your classmates, colleagues or friends, but something has delayed you, so you called to hurry up. Then the child's father answered the phone next to him and said We will be there soon. There is a traffic jam, and we will arrive at a traffic light. Suddenly, we found that wow, this parent hadn't even gone out yet, and he actually said that there was another traffic light and we were about to arrive. Is this lying in front of the child, so will the child learn to lie? You will also learn to lie. So there may be so many reasons behind our simple lie, right? There are other things that have not been mentioned, and who does these reasons have to do with? Do they all have a lot to do with our parents? So when we return to the forensic forensic children, there must be deep reasons behind them. And this original is often related to fruits. is related to parents .

So when we encounter children who have some bad behaviors, such as lying and fighting, right? Regarding issues such as truancy, puppy love, etc. , we should not get angry immediately, we should not attack the children immediately, blame the children, we should calm down and think about it, what might be the reasons behind the children? Right? We cannot blame our children wrongly. When we miss our children again and again, the relationship between our children and us becomes more and more distant.

For example, , The children had a fight today. The teacher called you over and gave you a lecture. Do you have some emotions in your heart? Because you were told by the teacher, and when you saw the child with a bruised nose and face, you became very angry. I told you not to tell you to stop fighting, right? Why don't you listen? You and your classmates must live in harmony. You caused me to be criticized by the teacher, and you scared the children with your own emotional interpretation. But the child got into a fight, or was beaten, and he felt aggrieved. But when he came back, he felt the same way when facing his parents. Do you think he will tell you if he has anything to say or what is on his mind in the future? He won’t.

Introduction: Today are our top ten tips for educating children. When he talks about the Dharma of the mind, there are two questions that need to be discussed with everyone. What is the Dharma of the mind, and why do we need to talk about the Dharma of the mind? The first question is, what is the Dharma of the mind? That is, the ideas, concepts and cognition levels we use to educate our children. For example, some parents think that their children should be spanked if they make mistakes, and they should be scolded if they make mistakes. This is a concept of education, a concept of education, and this can also be called a mental method. Then there are some parents who think that children cannot be praised. Why? Because children will feel happy when they are praised, so many parents in China never praise or affirm their children when they do well, but they criticize them vigorously when they do poorly. Finally, you find that this child I am becoming less and less confident, and I am becoming more and more inferior, right?

Of course, this is also a concept for us, as well as a concept and cognition. We call it mind. So why do you want to talk to everyone about the Dharma? Well, many parents may directly say, Teacher Wang, you don’t need to tell me about your mentality and concepts. You don’t need to tell me these things. I understand the truth. Just tell me directly. I Kids nowadays, right? Now I have difficulty concentrating. How can I solve this problem? My child is now in puppy love. How can I solve this problem? My child doesn’t like to study now. Just give me a way and tell me how to solve it. This is a bit like when we went to the hospital to see a doctor, and the doctor told us, now let you go for one, two, and three, you go for these three examinations. After the examination, I will come back to confirm the follow-up treatment for you. We will talk to the doctor directly. Doctor, I don’t need to do the examination. You can directly determine the treatment for me, tell me to give me a medicine, or give me some medicine. I'll give you an infusion, and then I'll be fine. If the doctor doesn't do an examination and doesn't know the cause of the disease, then there's a 90% chance that it will only get worse with treatment, right? ? Because you don’t even know the cause of the disease and how to treat it, the same goes for children. If a child has difficulty concentrating, there may be many reasons behind it. So only by finding out the reason behind it can we prescribe the right medicine like a doctor and cure the disease, right? Well that's about it.

Do you think the mental method is important? It’s actually very important, why? Because Master Xin’s method of internal strength is external method , but the method many parents seek is external method . Everyone thinks it is the inner method. Which internal strength is more important or external method is more important? In fact, both are important. But if I could only choose one, it would definitely be internal strength. Why do you see in our ancient martial arts novels or martial arts TV series, the secret books that everyone in the martial arts community is vying for are all superior internal skills and mental methods, such as the Palm of the Tathagata, the Nine Sun Magic Technique, and Dragon Subduing Eighteen palms, are these all excellent internal skills and mental methods?

Because for a person who studies martial arts, if there are only methods and moves, then if you punch out, others will say that this person is a fancy person. Flower stand, right? Because you don’t have the strength to fight, why don’t you have the strength? Because you don’t have any inner strength, so educating your children is the same. If you are purely taught a method, that is, you purely direct the moves, then you will not be able to use them and you will not get any results.Only after you have mastered the inner strength, these concepts, these concepts, and these basic things, can you achieve the effect when you use them, right? So why is it said that if there is only one, then it can only be internal power, not external power? Because you will find that the real top masters all have very high internal strength, so they may not need to build it, right? He may move a number and use it as an arrow. Why? Because there is ,

supported by internal strength, even if we don’t understand some methods, but we have a very, very high understanding of this inner strength cultivation, our basic concept, this concept and cognition, for When it comes to educating children, you will find that we don’t need to teach you methods at all. We will generate many methods in our own lives. Of course, we will talk about many methods later, so this brings us to the point that the mind method is internal power, and the method is external power. Therefore, internal strength is the Tao, and external strength is the art, so the mental method is the art. Only when we combine education with education can children get twice the result with half the effort, and only then can we provide children with a good education. This is why we will talk about this method. Because he is very important. Let’s talk about the first mental method first. There are deep reasons behind all children’s behaviors.

Mental Methods - : - There are deep reasons behind all the behaviors of children.

Why do children lie? Why feel inferior? Why do you fall in love early? There must be deep reasons behind why you play truant, why you don’t like studying, etc. For example, lying. I often tell a little story. I said that there was a group of children standing in line on the playground, and there was a child who was particularly eye-catching. Because other children were wearing T-shirts, he was the only one wearing a woolen sweater, so others asked him, others said acne , acne , why are other children wearing T-shirts? , but you are wearing a woolen sweater? This child was very helpless and looked at the sky and said this sentence, he said , hey ! There is a kind of coldness called your mother who thinks you are cold.

Then we may feel funny when we hear it, right? But do scenes like this often happen in our lives? Many times we think of children and then tell them to get dressed. But actually he said I wasn't cold. In fact, we adults all know that our children's body temperature is slightly higher than that of adults. So sometimes we wear a piece of clothing and it feels just right, but what if we touch our child's back? He is sweating, so the child says he is not cold. This is his true feeling and thought. We feel cold is also our true feeling. There is nothing wrong with this. But what is the fault of our parents? We shouldn’t impose our own thoughts and feelings on our children, right? We think we can bear it, so we think we can put it on him, but in fact this is wrong.

Then if the child doesn’t put on clothes, we may start to threaten him. If you don't obey me, I won't love you anymore. If you don't behave, my mother won't want you anymore.So you will find that the child puts on the clothes immediately, then our faces will change immediately , Hey, this is the mother's good baby, so that the mother likes you, right? But do you know what a child’s mental journey is like? He will find out that it doesn't matter what my feelings and thoughts are, right? Because I express my true feelings, I am not cold, and my mother will lose her temper, so it is not important how I feel. What is important is that I obey my mother's wishes, because I obey my mother's wishes once and for all. started to smile playfully at me again, started to like me again, and started to want me again. So you will find that this child may become more and more obedient, but he may also learn to lie. Why?

Psychologically speaking, a person's first lie comes from a sense of self-protection. That means he wants to protect himself. Then he believed that the cost of telling the truth was relatively high, so he chose to tell lies to avoid the risk. He couldn't face the consequences of telling the truth, could he? So this may be one of the reasons for lying. So who does this reason have to do with? Is it related to our parents? To give another example, what other possible reasons might there be for lying? The child accidentally broke a cup today, right? Then we may be very angry, ah, the one here is so beautiful, so good-looking, why are you so careless? He was broken into pieces and scolded the child. Then if your child breaks a bowl next time, will he still say that he broke it? He won't, he will tell a lie. Because you were scolded for breaking the cup last time, and you will be scolded again for breaking the bowl this time. So I choose to avoid risk, right? This is also one of the reasons why you may lie. It is also possible

Today, you have a gathering with your classmates, colleagues or friends, but something has delayed you, so you called to hurry up. Then the child's father answered the phone next to him and said We will be there soon. There is a traffic jam, and we will arrive at a traffic light. Suddenly, we found that wow, this parent hadn't even gone out yet, and he actually said that there was another traffic light and we were about to arrive. Is this lying in front of the child, so will the child learn to lie? You will also learn to lie. So there may be so many reasons behind our simple lie, right? There are other things that have not been mentioned, and who does these reasons have to do with? Do they all have a lot to do with our parents? So when we return to the forensic forensic children, there must be deep reasons behind them. And this original is often related to fruits. is related to parents .

So when we encounter children who have some bad behaviors, such as lying and fighting, right? Regarding issues such as truancy, puppy love, etc. , we should not get angry immediately, we should not attack the children immediately, blame the children, we should calm down and think about it, what might be the reasons behind the children? Right? We cannot blame our children wrongly. When we miss our children again and again, the relationship between our children and us becomes more and more distant.

For example, , The children had a fight today. The teacher called you over and gave you a lecture. Do you have some emotions in your heart? Because you were told by the teacher, and when you saw the child with a bruised nose and face, you became very angry. I told you not to tell you to stop fighting, right? Why don't you listen? You and your classmates must live in harmony. You caused me to be criticized by the teacher, and you scared the children with your own emotional interpretation. But the child got into a fight, or was beaten, and he felt aggrieved. But when he came back, he felt the same way when facing his parents. Do you think he will tell you if he has anything to say or what is on his mind in the future? He won’t.

But we may not know the reason behind the child's fight. It is because other children bullied him first and made the first move. He did it to protect himself, right? For another example, let’s say the child’s body is covered in mud today. His body is stained and covered with mud. Even your face and hair are probably covered in mud. Will we be very angry when we see it? We will say, look at your clothes. I only bought them a few days ago. They are so clean and so beautiful. As a result, you made them look like this. Look at your hair. Why did it get so dirty?

Why don’t you be so clean and hygienic? Actually no, it might be because on the way home from school, he saw an old man pushing a cart with many flower pots on it. In the end, he accidentally fell into the mud, so he helped the old man. Go and cut the flower pot. In the end, it’s you who gets it all over your body. ,

When we know the reasons behind it, we will still blame the children. We won’t do it. , So I am here to appeal to every parent. When a bad behavior occurs, we should calm down and think about what’s behind it, right? What could be the reason? Or we calm down first, and then use our love and our sincere care to ask the child what happened behind the scenes to find out. Then we will not blame the children , So this is the mentality - : - All the behaviors of children have deep reasons behind them.

心法二: Children’s problems are one hundred percent their parents’ problems.

Many parents have begun to say this, are they too absolute? Let's think about it, when the child was first born and came into our home, did he have any problems like , er, ? No. But why after a few years in our home, why do all kinds of problems arise? Is it related to someone? Is it related to the family as children, or to ourselves as parents of children? Let me tell you two points. The first one is that the family is a copy machine, the parents are the originals, and the children are the copies. In other words, there are typos on the copy of the child. What is the problem? Does it mean that there are typos on the original copy? So there is a problem with the child. Whose problem is it? Parents' problems are problems with their parents. So the first sentence is for everyone, children are copies of their parents .

What about the second sentence? Let me tell you a little story first. There is an ugly woman who is not very good-looking, a very ugly woman. Then one day saw holding a mirror. started to look in the mirror. Wow, he found that the person in the mirror was very ugly, so he got very angry and slammed the mirror, and it broke. As a result, the second time he saw a mirror again, and when he looked in the mirror again, he found that the ugly woman was there again, and he became very angry. He said who are you, why are you always following me, you are so ugly, you fell down and broke into pieces. We all know that if this woman remains beautiful, it won't matter how many mirrors she breaks, right? The child is actually the ugly woman in the mirror, and we are the woman outside, so the child is a mirror to us, right? Who we see when we look in the mirror is ourselves. Who is the child? In fact, the problems with our children are our problems, right? So when we see that ugly woman in the mirror, it means that she is ourselves. When we see the problems in our children, it means that they are ourselves. So if we ourselves are not as beautiful as this woman, the woman in the mirror will not become beautiful either. If our parents don't get better, our children will have many problems. So the second sentence is that children are a mirror of their parents.

As I just said, who do we see when we look in the mirror? It's ourselves. So when we see a child, the problems he has are actually our own projections and insinuations, and they are our own problems. So when we see a problem in our children, the first thing to ask ourselves is, do we have this problem ourselves, right?

Second, if not, is it possible that the child's problem is caused by one of our wrong education methods. Just like the kid I just talked about lying, right? It is caused by our wrong education methods. So we think about these two questions. For example, let's take . Many parents often ask me, "Teacher Wang, my child has a lot of temper tantrums, right?" Bad temper. Then I say, go find the father or mother of this child. There is a person with a bad temper. , then you can go find him again. This child’s er, go up to the top and find the grandpa and grandma. Or grandpa and grandma, one of them also has a bad temper. Because he said that the truth is, he said that my temper is not very good. And my mother also has a bad temper, right? You will find that this temper and temperament can be passed down from generation to generation in our family. Because why, this is that the influence of the original family is very huge. For another example, in many families, the mother is relatively strong and the father is relatively weak.

If you have a daughter, you will find that the daughter in this family will be as strong as her mother. If there was a son, he would be as vulnerable as his father. What is very interesting is that if the daughter finds a husband in the future, it is very likely that she will be as vulnerable as her father. When a son finds a wife in the future, he will most likely be as strong as his mother. I am not saying absolutely, but there are many such phenomena and cases to prove that it is very possible. So what will you find? Where do all the problems in children come from?

are all caused within our family, from our parents, right? So this sentence is for everyone. The problems in children are 100% the problems of their parents. At the same time, just said that when we see problems with our children, we should calm down first. Property asked itself two questions. First, do we have such problems ourselves. Second, if not, it may be one of our wrong education methods that caused this problem in our children. Then this is about 心法二:Children’s problems are one hundred percent the parents’ problems,

心法三:Every word we say and every behavior we do is for our children. Doing education

Every word we say and every action we take is educating our children. Many parents often ask me if my children don't do homework after school to help them study. I said, what do you do after you go home from get off work? He said that I had been working hard all day, and then I was very tired, so I lay on the sofa and started playing with my phone and watching TV to relax. Then I say that’s not right. Then many parents ask me again and again, Oh, teacher , why don’t my children say hello when they see the teacher? I said, what does it look like when you see the teacher? He was very embarrassed and said, oops, this teacher doesn’t know me either, I I, I are not too embarrassed to say hello, I said that’s not right, we ourselves have not done it, we have not done it ourselves. . Is it okay for us to ask our children to do the same when we greet the teacher? That's not possible, right? Because every word we say, every action we say, and every behavior we say will actually be seen by the child and he will listen.

In this case, all our actions and words are educating our children, because children grow up by imitating our parents. In other words, every word we say and every action we do will become a template, or an example, for children to behave in the world. What is demonstration? What we demonstrate to him is correct, and his behavior is correct. What our market gave him was wrong, and what he did or said was bad, right? If we often say bad words and spit randomly, will our children learn it? Knowing ,

, if we often run red lights when crossing the road, will our children learn it? Yes, I often see many parents on the road running red lights with their children when they come to pick up their children from school. Today you led him to run a red light, and one day you are not with him. Will he run a red light by himself? It’s also because this is what you taught him, so our words and deeds are educating

If you and your husband had a quarrel today, right? Then I got really angry, and many of us started doing things like lying down and throwing cups and cell phones. Well, let me tell you, the next time your child loses his temper, he will also throw something. Because this is what you teach them, so our words and deeds are educating children. We often talk about words and deeds. Language is very important, words are very important, and deeds are more important.,

When I often, I will ask this parent to play an action with me. I asked all the parents and friends to come and play a little game with me. What kind of little game is it? You watch , now , if you are watching the video here to learn, you can also join me to do this action , the game . If you want to learn better, don’t feel very restricted or embarrassed. Just make it yourself, okay? Come and raise your right hand with me, hey, don’t look at it, come and raise your right hand, raise your right hand , Come and raise your right hand with me, spin around in circles with me, stand up , stand up and spin around to make money faster. Okay, now listen carefully to what I say. You must listen carefully to what I say. The name of this game is Listen to the command and do the action. Listen to me carefully. Come and make money faster. Come and make it wider. Come and make it faster . Let me see how fast it is here. Come and make it faster . OK, now put your hand on your chin as quickly as possible, put it on your chin to stop, it can’t be changed, put it back ,

you will find that we are more than 90% Where are all the people? On the forehead right? Why did I just say before did I say that the name of this game is listener, you must listen carefully when you do the action, what do I say, right? But did we listen? No, why? Because I gave everyone a wrong example, right? I put my hand on my forehead, not my chin. So when what I say is inconsistent with what I do, you won't listen to what I say, you will only watch what I do, right? The same is true for children. When we ask them to be polite and civilized, we end up swearing and spitting. You will learn that child, so he will not listen to what we say, he will only watch what we do, right? Therefore, the power of one's worth is greater than the power of one's words. Because there is a saying in our education that what goes up leads to deeds. In other words, the behavior of the previous generation will be naturally and unconsciously imitated by the next generation. I just talked about the growth of children, which is to grow up by imitating the words and deeds of their parents.

So if we want our children and to be well educated and want our children to have good language and good behavior, then everyone should pay attention to every word we say and every behavior we must be careful about. Caution, right? So this is our third mentality. Every word and every behavior of parents is educating their children.

mentality 4: Only when we ourselves have truly changed will you find that the world will change

So let us have a think about what? That is, every time we say a word or do an action in the future, we must pay attention to our own image, and consider whether we have set a good template and a good example for our children, okay? Well, this is the third constitution, heart law four, we cannot change children, in fact we cannot change anyone, except ourselves. We cannot change children. The truth is, we can’t change anyone but ourselves.

Well, let’s not talk about children first. Let’s talk about couples first. You will find that many times we as husband and wife want to change each other. We always feel that the other person is not good enough, and then we start to change each other. You will find that some people have been trying to reform each other for several years or more than ten years, or even their whole lives. Have they succeeded? It hasn't been transformed, right? Because as I just said, we can't change anyone. Uh,

There was a person. After he died, it was written like this on his epitaph , He said , When I was young, I longed to change the world. , Right, I longed. Change the world, we all desire to change things, we all have dreams , Later, after a while, when I entered middle age, I realized that I could not change the world. So I thought I would change the people around me, I would change my family. Later he said that when I got older, I realized that I couldn't change anyone. The only thing I can change is myself. So he said that when I was young, if I could start by changing myself, then maybe I would be able to influence the changes in the people around me, my family, and the people around me through my own changes. And through their changes, they give me greater confidence and motivation. I might actually be able to change the world. So this is a person's epitaph. epitaph is a sentence or a paragraph that this person will leave to everyone in his life after he dies, right? Do you think that after a person dies, he leaves this paragraph to represent his life to the world? What does it mean? It shows that this is the deepest realization in his life.

Should we use this as a lesson? It requires , , so many parents will ask, "Teacher, if I can't change the child, how can the child change?" In fact, what was mentioned in this epitaph just now is that we influence the changes of our children through our own changes. We cannot change a person. But we can influence our children's changes through our own changes.

For example, uh, after our parents learned the method, what about after they listened to it? , Before their children, uh, they didn’t like to do morning exercises, and they didn’t listen carefully to the method. After , you will know how to use the power of language to start affirming and praising children. So he told the child, he said, child, do you know? The teacher praised you today, saying that you were very serious during morning exercises today, and your movements were much more standard than before.After

said it, the child kept confirming with him several times, asking, did the teacher really say that? He said yes, the teacher really praised you, but he found out the next day, because their kindergarten was not far from theirs, so he took a telescope to see the child, and found that the child When making breakfast, wow, I am much more serious than before. So you find out if the parents change themselves, right? What does it mean that you have changed? It means that you have learned how to guide your children. If you change a little bit, you will find that your children have also changed, and they will change accordingly, right? This is also the truth. So we say that parents’ progress is 1%, and children’s growth is 99%.

So when I was talking about this example, I was thinking that it is not easy for these parents, who still use a telescope to observe their children every day. So you see, every parent loves their children and wants to educate them well, right? Let's take another example. For example, among our children, many times we have children losing their temper, right?

But what if we do it? For example, when we are getting along with a child, one of his actions makes us particularly angry. What has been our past pattern? I immediately began to take this anger out on him. But if we could change our ways, how? What should we say to uh child ? My child, your behavior just now made me very uncomfortable and made me very angry. My mood is very bad now, and I am very angry, so please allow me to wait for a while. I will calm down first and deal with my own emotions first. I'll talk to you about this issue again in a while, right, and you'll find out, and then you go away and process your emotions.

You will find that your child will learn from your behavior. He will learn, right? The next time he encounters a problem, is in a bad mood, or wants to lose his temper, he will also learn from it. He said, "I'm sorry, I'm not in a good mood right now. I want to get angry, I'm very angry, so I'll calm down first, and we'll deal with this problem again later, and he will learn from it, right?" So you will find that if we change the child, the child will also change, okay? So this is the xin ritual. We can't change the children. In fact, we can't change anyone. The only thing we can change is to change ourselves. So when we change our children, we change. When we change the lovers around us, our parents, our colleagues, our friends, the people around us will change. So only when we ourselves truly change, will you find that the world will change.

Mind Method Five : Relationships come before education, deal with the relationship first, and then talk about education

Relationships deal with the relationship first with education, and then talk about teaching , So this sentence is not only applicable to children of all ages. ,Right? It is suitable for children from zero to eighteen years old, and it is also suitable for adults. But the performance is particularly obvious in adolescent children. Why do you say this? We all know that many adolescent children are unwilling to communicate with their parents. Many parents often tell me that my children are not willing and disobedient.. Some parents even say that my children are not willing. Listen to me. What do you mean? Many children in their adolescence slam their door shut immediately after returning home from school. There is something like this? Some children even put a small note on the door of the room, saying that private space and no other people should be allowed in.There is such a situation, right? why?

Then you talk about this situation, your parents come to have dinner, and then simply um, okay, and then you have to study hard today, seriously , good , right , just a few words of , um, Okay, this is all the communication in your life, and many parents are particularly troubled. I said how should I teach my children? I said you should not think about how to educate your children first. Because under such circumstances, no matter what you say, he won't listen to everyone. Is that why? Because he no longer trusts you and has closed his heart to you, so if you tell him anything else, will he listen? He can't listen to a word, what should

do? Let’s resolve the relationship first, think about how to get closer to your children, and how to focus on getting your children to trust you. This is the most important thing. For example, our here has a mother named . Why spend ? Why spend that child? He is fourteen years old. His son, due to the lack of companionship for the child before the couple, resulted in the child now. There are some problems with . started to communicate with children on WeChat.

He said about this child, He said that mom and dad were busy with work, and neglected to care about you, accompany you and educate you. Mom sincerely apologizes to you here. During this time, my mother came into contact with a home education teacher. He taught her a lot, so my mother sincerely apologizes to you and says I'm sorry. Hey, if you send this sentence to , you will find out how the child is doing. The child will actually be very surprised. Why? Because this is completely different from the previous you. But the difference supported that there would be a little surprise and a little joy in his heart. After

was over, the mother told the child this. He said that the mother found that many of the ways she treated you in the past were wrong, right? It is wrong to often not care about you, or to often criticize you. Mom apologizes to you, and then, mom learned that they have a summer camp here. Mom really wants to learn, and she really wants to grow and change herself. Do you think mom is going? Or should I just say yes? Then the mother said, there is one requirement for this summer camp, that is, if the adults go alone, it is not possible. The children must take the adults with them. This means that you must be accompanied by children. Then would you like to accompany your mother to to learn and grow? Mom really wants to grow and change. In the end, the child said yes, right?

You will find that it is as simple as these a few words, and then the child will be willing to go to the summer camp with you. So what will you find? You will find that this process brings you closer to your children first, right? And after apologizing like this, what about this child ? Although doesn’t talk to him much now, what will you find? This child has begun to trust his mother. Why do you say this? Later, a few days after passed, the mother sent me a screenshot of their WeChat account . When the child was sleeping in English class, he would tell his mother ,

and you would find it very interesting. Children's own bad behavior, adolescent children, right? His willingness to reveal his bad behavior to his mother shows that he trusts his parents. This is the most rare thing.When a child treats these bad things, such as uh Mom this or Dad this I have a girl who likes me and she confesses to me, what do you think I should do, right? When he is willing to tell you these things, you have the opportunity to educate him, which means that he trusts you, right? Otherwise, if I don’t tell you these things and you don’t understand them, how can you educate him? Therefore, the child's talk about the relationship between and education first, deal with the relationship first, and then talk about education.

Then there is another point here. I also have a sentence for everyone, which is to deal with your mood first and then deal with things. What's the meaning? For example, we talked about the problem of children fighting before. The child has been beaten, and he comes back bruised and swollen. He himself is also very wronged and hurt, right? He also felt very bad. As soon as he came back, you went all out to tell him that you wanted to give him , but wanted to kill him. It was wrong to educate him on this matter. We talk about dealing with emotions first and then things, so let’s not deal with the matter of his fight first.

Let’s not deal with it for now. Let’s calm down his emotions first and deal with his emotions first. Just say a Boy, why is this all green? It must be very painful, right? My mother also heard that you had a fight with other children in school today. This mother must know that you are not a child who likes to fight, but since you got into a fight today, something must have happened, right?

You see the injections are like this, can you tell mom what happened, right? You first express concern and understanding. You didn't stand on his opposite side and directly said that your fight was wrong. Instead, you expressed your understanding and asked about the reasons behind it. Like we talked about before, what's the reason behind - , right? We have to understand. Then you will find that this child is very willing to talk to you, and his emotions have been reflected in his behavior and emotions, and he has been understood and comforted by his parents.. If you tell him to guide you next time, everyone should How can encounter a situation like ? Is there any other solution to guide him and it will be easy?

So , is not just for children, it is the same for us adults. You will find that this is also the case when couples quarrel. What men argue about is always the truth. What's the use of crying? Do you think your grievances can be resolved? It can't be solved. You should be one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, right? As a result, the woman feels that I can’t listen to a word you say. You said this means you don't care about me, right? Men quarrel over reason, while women quarrel over love. Women only care about one thing: you are sick and don’t care about me. Do you care about me or things, right? So if a man can know how to soothe a woman's emotions first, I know it's very hard for you at home every day, washing clothes, cooking, and taking care of the children. And these things are trivial things, so it is often easy to feel that a lot of emotions have been accumulated, so it is often easy to be irritable and in a bad mood. I can understand it very well. If you say this, will this woman feel that she is understood and respected? Then after you have settled the situation, and then discuss the specific matters with him, um, it will be solved very easily, right? You can avoid a lot of quarrels , So whether it is children or adults, whether it is husband and wife, or between colleagues or friends, all relationships are connected. That is to deal with your mood first and then deal with things, right? Then this is a point in our fifth method. Let’s review the fifth mental method, which is to deal with the relationship first and education first, and then talk about education. If the relationship is not handled well, any education will be pale and ineffective.This is the fifth heart method : Relationship comes before education, handle the relationship first, and then talk about education

heart method Six : Education is a process of input and output.

Education is a process of input and output , what does mean? I won’t tell you more, but will give you a demonstration. Look, this is a cup, right? Is this cup empty?

The child is like this cup. This is whether the child is empty when he first comes to our home. He can do nothing, right? But it’s not that we don’t know everything. We have what we can do. For example, this is us. Do we have a little bit of water inside us? What do we know about ? What do we know about ?

We just started teaching children to speak, this is what we know, teaching children to walk, this is what we know, teaching children to be polite, teaching children to do things seriously, right? We gave him all the things we knew, screamed, screamed. Hey, did you find that we still had something to give him? No more, we have handed over all the things and we are empty, right? Okay, now I have encountered a problem with . What is the problem? We can't solve the problem when a child loses his concentration or throws a tantrum. Why? Because we don’t understand it ourselves. We don’t even know how to solve the problem of lack of concentration. We here don’t know what causes temper tantrums or how to solve them. So we can’t give children, right?

So you found , . The height of the parent is the height of the child. The height of the parent is this point, and the height of the child can only be this point, right? So how to solve this problem? How to deal with it? There is a saying that is not capable enough, so it needs resources. What does it mean when we ourselves are not enough? It means that we don’t put water into it again, right? There is no heavy input. So if we focus on and input at this time, how can we focus on and input? Learn with focus. Just like everyone at this moment, watching the video to learn, what does that mean?

For example, what did you learn from this today? Teach children to pay attention, how to deal with children's this and emotions, and how to calm children's tantrums? Did you learn these things again? Then after you learn it, will you teach it to your children, right? Be careful and teach your children to give everything you have learned to them.

What is the only way? Is it our own input of heavy heart water injection and heavy heart right? So what is one thing I often say? Parents' learning and growth is the only and most effective way to change their children. It is also the most effective way. When we continue to learn, we will have a continuous flow of water into our children. Let's get some water, right? We will participate in offline learning next time and learn something, and we will give it to our children again, right?

You will find that only if we have continuous income can we have continuous output. Why? Because the child is growing up, are the problems he encounters at the age of three the same as the problems he encounters at the age of 13? It’s different, so when the child encountered problems when he was three years old, we solved them. When the child was five years old, we encountered a problem again, and because we couldn't solve it, we needed to focus on input again. It's still a problem of eight years old in June. We need to focus on input and then output it to him. Therefore, parents’ continuous learning and growth and continuous input of water are the most effective ways to educate their children well, right? Well, this is the first point called education, which is a process of input and output.Then you can tell how many things you input, and how much you can output to your children. This is the first point , what is the second point

? The second point is that the child inputs whatever we say, right? If what we output is good and clear water, then what the child inputs is clear water. If we ask him to speak, we ask him to be polite, and we ask him to do things seriously, if this is a good thing, then the child will become clear water. But what if we have some bad things, we swear, we spit, we curse, we even do this, we lose concentration, right? It is not good for us to play with mobile phones. You will find out whether we also lose these things, whether we also input and output to our children in the same way. Hey, you will find that after we say something is wrong, the child becomes something, becomes dirty, right? This is the first point. We have these bad things at home. I would like to ask everyone if there are any classmates outside who would give or import some bad things to their children. Then the teacher may also introduce some bad things in society to the children, right? What will you notice about this child? Is he starting to become muddled? Is

right? It has become turbid, what should we do at this time? As I just said, whatever we input is what the children input. What kind of influence does society, teachers and classmates give him, will be what kind of influence he has, right? The child has become filthy now. What should I do if it becomes turbid? It’s still the same method. At this time, many people will say to pour out the water, heavy heart heavy heart and then inject clean water? no.

What can I do? It's when we continue to learn and grow, we continue to learn and grow, right? We keep pouring water into it, and we keep pouring water into it, and we keep pouring water into it, and we make it crispy. Hey, you noticed that this child is getting lighter and lighter, right? Of course, most of this cup has been poured out in , so when we continue to do , we continue to conflict with , and the income continues, even if it flows out, even if we translate it, we are still doing it. . In the end, the water in this cup is getting lighter and lighter, right? Of course, it's impossible to be completely clear. It's impossible to be like this one. Why, because we humans always have some traces and problems. It's impossible for to be perfect, right? So this is a question about children. What does it mean? Let’s summarize it. The first sentence is called education. is a process of input and output.

So only by continuous input can we have continuous output. We can solve the problems of three-year-olds, five-year-olds, thirteen-year-olds and eighteen-year-olds, so how can we solve them? That is, we continue to learn, continue to inject water, and continue to input water into our bodies. So what is the first point of and the second point of ? What we export to the child is what we import. If we give the good to the child, he will inject the good. If we give the child something bad, he will be bad, right? What should we do if the problem is that the child is getting older? Just pay attention to injecting clean water into your child. If you keep injecting clean water, he will gradually become clearer and clearer, have fewer and fewer problems, and have more and more good behaviors and bad behaviors. Behaviors will become less and less , This is the sixth heart method : Education is a process of input and output.

Thoughts Seven: Look at the current education from the perspective of the child’s life span, and don’t just focus on the immediate good or bad.

From the perspective of the child’s life span, the current education should not only focus on the immediate good or bad. .Many parents at the scene, including on Douyin, were consulting me. Many parents asked me anxiously that I have a very difficult problem. What should I say? He said that my child scored 95 points in the last math test, but this time he only scored 92 points, a drop of three points. What do you think is going on?

I said this is a normal fluctuation, very normal, I think it is very interesting. You said that a child cannot always get 100%, right? He cannot always have this score, right? Fluctuations are normal. Just like when we participate in the Olympics, our Olympic champion's best time in the 100-meter sprint is a little over nine seconds. But it’s impossible for him to run 100 meters for more than nine seconds every time. He just said that he would only run over nine seconds when he performs exceptionally well and is in good condition, right? So he is within a normal range of fluctuations, which is normal. so this is one. As for other parents, there was a parent before this. After he added me on Douyin , he asked me a question. He said that my child is now fourteen years old and is studying in junior high school. He is a son. . Then , uh, a girl confessed to him. You see, this son is willing to confess to the girl and tell his mother. What does it mean? Is the relationship between them very good? There is a relationship. Okay,

presupposes that we can have a correct guide for our children. Like what I just said, , , so , and then this mother asked me what should I do? I learned about the situation and found out that this boy is a relatively rational boy. He is not the kind of boy who is very impulsive and prone to make mistakes in relationships or is very extreme for feelings or love. Such a desperate boy. No, then I will tell the mother, oh, this way I discovered that this boy is also interested in this girl. I just said uh, if you advise him not to fall in love, but you can also just say it briefly. But if he really wants to, and you tell him, then go ahead and talk if you can. Why? Because of the first point, what should we consider about ?

The first point , This child is only in junior high. If a girl confesses to him at this time, but he suppresses it and does not talk about it, then it is possible that another girl will confess to him in the third grade of junior high school. At that time, he talked about whether it would affect his high school entrance examination. When he was in junior high school instead of high school, he might want to talk about whether it would affect his college entrance examination. The impact would be more serious at that time, right?

this first second point what is it? The second point is that we all need to learn this child. What should he learn? Balance schoolwork with love, right? We adults must also learn to balance work and family. So it's possible that the beginning of dating had a certain impact on his studies. normal. But we need to guide him on how to pull it back and maintain a good balance, then this is an exercise. In this way, our children will be able to have a good balance between family and work in society in the future, which also requires training. Then the second point

and the third point is the future. The relationships we had when we were students are all bright futures. When we look back on this relationship in twenty years, thirty years, or even when we are old, it will be a very beautiful memory, right? What are the third and fourth points? With this emotional experience. After this experience, we will accumulate some emotional experience. In this case, when we enter society and get married in the future, our chances of happiness will be higher

Why do you say this? Because I am , I am . I have this personal experience myself. It is because when I was a student, I was a very well-behaved child. I did not dare to cross the line, so why did my mother and father say that I was like this? Do.Then, I discovered that I didn’t fall in love when I was a student. I think this is a big regret in my life.

Later I entered the society and slowly started to fall in love. Then, I accidentally gave birth to a child, so I started to get married. In the end, I found that I still couldn't handle emotional problems after giving birth to a child. Why? Because you have no experience at all before, right? So we got divorced in the end. So it is good for our children to talk about feelings when they are students. Why? Because love in student days is very pure, without any interests mixed in it. So in this case, the accumulated experience of children's emotions is very helpful, right?

If you analyze it from this perspective, you will find that children fall in love or are in puppy love. What is puppy love? I don’t think falling in love as a teenager is premature love. In fact, there is nothing wrong with it. Because we have to look at the length of a child's life, instead of just focusing on the present. It temporarily affects the academic performance, no, but it has a slight impact on learning.

How should we help the child balance it out, rather than rejecting him completely? Because today you asked him to say that you would never fall in love. I told you that he would also do it secretly. Do you believe it? He even made his sneaky talk. Then, if you do some bad behavior, you don’t even know that you might make a bigger mistake, right? So when we teach our children to love, we must guide them and teach them how to fall in love, how to protect themselves, and at the same time protect others, right? So this is a good educational opportunity?

Then let’s go back to the point of . As we just said, we need to look at the length of a child’s life, not just the current education. For example, if their children don't eat, many parents will be very anxious if they don't eat. Then I say he doesn’t eat, does he eat vegetables? He is not a vegetable, does he eat other things, right? Otherwise, how will he survive? He will definitely be hungry, so you will find that the problem of eating requires the child to be older. Whether it will be solved at seven, eight, nine or ten years old, it will be solved naturally, right?

So we have to start from this sentence, we have to look at it in the long run, from a lifetime perspective, instead of just focusing on the present, okay? Because when we have this perspective, our education can be accurate. Do many parents only see the performance of their children in front of them? In fact, the results of education are not tested in schools, but in society. That is to say, after a child enters society in ten or twenty years, it depends on whether he can survive well in society. The career is doing well. Whether he can get along well in interpersonal relationships and whether he can have a happy family are the results of our education, right? This is the place to test the results of our education. So the mentality seven: We should look at children's education from the perspective of a lifetime, and don't just see the temporary good or bad in front of us.

Tip 8 : Treat children as adults. Treat children as adults. There are two interpretations of

. The first perspective is to treat children as adults and treat children as adults. That is to say, when we encounter every problem of our children, we think about whether we adults have solved it, and of course how we have dealt with it, right? For example, if a child has trouble concentrating, are we adults also having trouble concentrating? For example, if a child stays in bed, have we adults ever stayed in bed? For example, if a child loses his temper, have we adults lost our temper, right?

Let’s think about it from our perspective. For example, if we don’t concentrate, what is the problem with our own inattention? You will find out where the problem is for your child to concentrate on one step.To give you my own example, for example, I often prepare lessons, and you will find that sometimes I lose concentration. I found that there are several reasons. ,

The first one is to interfere with the mobile phone. From time to time, I will come to WeChat or A message or a phone call, right? Then I , I , I , I did what I did. I turned my phone to silent, and then turned off the traffic and wifi, and put it in the bedroom. I am in the study room, including turning off the Internet on my computer. Why? Because a new news pops up in the computer from time to time, and then your vision is affected. You may be attracted by a very news. is very popular, and it is very attractive. Eyeballs. You just get attracted to it and then go somewhere else, right? So this interference is a factor.

Is it possible that the same children have this factor? It's possible, then there's something else that could interfere with our attention. For example, if I didn't sleep well last night, I have no energy today and I have no energy at all. So whether I am listening to classes, doing things, or preparing lessons, can I concentrate? It's impossible. So this is about our physical aspect, right? Also loses concentration. What else could be causing the lack of concentration? For example, if I had a fight with my wife yesterday, or if you had a fight with your husband yesterday, then you have emotions in your heart. Then when you go to work today, or when you do things, and you need to be highly focused, your concentration and attention will also be affected. Because that emotion still affects you, right?

This is the first perspective, and there is a second perspective . How to talk about ? Treat children as adults and treat children as an independent person. . What does mean? Many parents think that their children are theirs, right? When you lose your temper, you say that you are all mine, and whatever I say is what I say, and you do what I say, and you are all mine. This is a completely wrong concept. A child does not belong to his parents, nor is he an accessory of his parents. He is an independent person, he has his own thoughts, and he has his own mission, right? Children only come into the world through us, but after they come into the world, they have their own dreams and missions, they have their own ideas, and they have their own lives to live. Therefore, parents cannot control their children's lives arbitrarily, they must dominate their children's lives. If you try to do this, you will find that the more you control, the worse your relationship will be, and the more you control, the more your relationship will become more and more alienated. It could end up being very nasty.

So this is the second perspective, which is to treat children as adults. treats children as an independent person. How do we view it? Is that the most basic thing? When we get along with others, we should treat children equally and respect them. This is so important. If we could treat children equally and with respect, then you think a lot of the problems would be solved, right? This is also the reason why this adolescent child is rebellious because our parents do not treat them as equals and respect them. The same is true for children, So this is our mentality eight : Treat children as adults from two perspectives , The first perspective is to treat children as adults, and treat children as adults , The second Perspective, treat the child as an adult, treat him as an independent person with equality and respect.

Mental Method Nine : The relationship between husband and wife is greater than the relationship between parent and child

After having children, many parents spend all their time, focus and energy on their children.There is no such time for two people to spend time together as a husband and wife, and there is no such emotional connection between two people as a husband and wife. In fact, there is a problem with this. Why? Because we have love first, and then we can have the crystallization of love, right? In a home, the father is the heaven of the child and the heaven of the home, and the mother is the of the child's home. So if the relationship between father and mother is not harmonious, for the child, it means that the world is not harmonious. We got along, but we were unhappy. Then you say that this child between heaven and earth can grow up healthily both physically and mentally.

So when it comes to the relationship between husband and wife and parent-child relationship, let’s discuss it . There are many kinds of relationships in our family. For example, we have a parent-child relationship, right? We have the relationship between husband and wife, we have the relationship between husband and wife, uh, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or the relationship with our parents, we have the relationship between brothers and sisters, right?

Let us tell you, which of these relationships is the most important? Which relationship is the most important? Let me give you an example and you will understand. We have five fingers, right? The thumb is the relationship between us and our parents. In essence, it is the relationship between us and our brothers and sisters. The little finger is our relationship with our children, and the ring finger is our relationship with someone. We all know where the wedding ring is worn. Wearing it on the ring finger is the relationship with the husband and wife.

So we put our hands together like this, right? Then do it well in this way, and you will find that whether the big thumb fingers can be separated, the relationship with the parents can be separated. No matter how good our relationship with our parents is, one day we will leave our parents and start our own family, so we can be separated. You can tell if your index fingers can be separated, right? No matter how close we are as brothers and sisters since childhood, we will have our own families and live separate lives when we grow up. Can the little thumb be separated? If we can separate it, what is the relationship between us and our children? No matter how good this is, when the child grows up, he will leave us, so we can also separate . Can the ring finger of be separated? Can the ring finger be separated? Right, you see it will be difficult for you, because I have to do this to separate. But if you are like this, , if you are like this, can be separated? As long as the other fingers don't move, can you separate them like this? You see, this is very difficult, this is very easy, this is very easy, this is very easy, this is very easy, this is the ring finger that is very difficult to separate, right? Why?

Because the relationship between husband and wife is the most important, the relationship between husband and wife is the core of the relationship in a family. So here we talk about the relationship between husband and wife being greater than the relationship between parents and children. So here I will not focus on the relationship between husband and wife. I just want to give everyone this concept. We should not spend all our time and energy on the parent-child relationship, but on the children. So we have to pay attention to maintaining the relationship between husband and wife, okay? Because if husband and wife often quarrel and are unhappy, the atmosphere, aura, and energy field of the home will be wrong for the child, and the child will be very sensitive. You said how could he grow up healthy physically and mentally, right? So this is the ninth method of : The relationship between husband and wife is greater than the relationship between parents and children . Later we will specifically talk about how to get along with each other in the intimate relationship between husband and wife.

mentality 十: means that parents study hard and their children make progress every day.

We are all first-time parents, right? But why do some people do well when they become parents for the first time, while others do poorly? Most people don't do well, but very few do well. There are two reasons. The first reason is that his parents did a good job in educating him since he was a child, and they had a good influence on him.In fact, the way we educate our children, if we don't learn and change, the way we treat our children is the way our parents treated us when we were children, right?

So what do the first type of people do well? Because the way his parents treated him when he was a child was right, and the family education was very good, so he treated him and himself well too. Then he will also give this kind of education method to his children next time.

So what is the second category ? That is, after he becomes a parent or after he becomes a parent, he can understand the child's growth pattern and understand the child's inner world by studying family education, right? Understand how to educate children. So to give children a good education, there are two ways. But the first method is that if you have a good family education environment since childhood, this kind of method is very rare. As for , this kind of , this parent , there are almost very few . In our society, more than 90% of children are now educated at home. There are big problems in the original family.

Some parents are doing careful education. What is careful education? It's just that my child had a conflict with his classmate today, right? You have to guide him to spend time and thought on how to deal with it. This is careful education. Your child is facing an exam today, and he is under a lot of pressure. You have to face him, and you have to teach him how to provide emotional counseling. This is this uh elaborate education, right? My child got into trouble with his classmate today. You have to teach him how to get along. This is careful education, right? If you educate this child carefully and spend so much time, energy and effort on it, you will be very worry-free when this child grows up, and he himself can avoid many avoidable detours. ,Right? That's carefully education.

But if you just feed it, that's what many parents are doing, just caring about their children's eating, drinking and sleeping , cooking for him and washing clothes for him, right? Then you ask for money and give him money, and you only care about this. There is no spiritual communication. Without this kind of spiritual communication, when he encounters a problem, how to guide it and how to solve it, right? Establish the correct three views for him, and then how to deal with problems when they encounter them. We don’t teach him, we just feed him. So you will find that as the child gets older, he will have more and more problems.

I often say something called , Educate your children to be careful in the first half of their lives, and they will be worry-free in the second half of their lives. You seem to be worried in the first half of your life, but you will definitely be sad in the second half of your life. So this is uh parents who carefully educate their children are those who focus on raising their children in the first half of their lives, and parents who only care about making ends meet will be less worried in the first half of their lives and will be sad in the second half of their lives. So this is the concept I want to give everyone, that is, we parents must study hard. Why? Because you educate him carefully, you can save a lot of worry in the future.

educates children, but as a result, we do not have any pre-job training or any parent qualification certificate. Do you think it's dangerous? It's like driving without a driver's license, right? What problems will occur? Deduction of this, deduction of driver's license, fine or small fine, what is more serious? may lead to car crashes and fatalities, right?

So if we want to be a good parent, we must be qualified, and we must learn the methods, concepts and concepts of educating children, right? Know the correct way to educate your children, so that you can give them a good education. Just like you who are studying at this moment, what does it mean to study now? means you slowly do it in but doesn’t matter, it’s never too late to learn.The last thing is that you don’t study.

As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree was ten years ago, and the second best time is now. So it’s never too late to learn now, okay? Then this is the method ten . Another point is what I mentioned before. If parents grow one percent, their children will make progress, ninety-nine percent of the time. Just like the many examples I just mentioned, right? Parents may apologize to their children a little, and the relationship will ease, which is a big improvement. This parent may be a little bit more to his child. The teacher praised you at school today. You were very serious in doing the operation and did a very good job. will be more serious.

So as long as parents grow up a little, the child will not change. The change and growth are huge. Just like what we said today, there are ten methods of method of education, then these are these ten methods. You don’t need to talk about it. You don’t need to learn anything else. Just these ten mental methods. Once you think about them thoroughly and understand them, you can go back and use them on your children. I can guarantee that your children will have many benefits. Big changes, so that's the role of parent learning. So I will tell you about the ten principles of learning : if the mother studies hard, the child will make progress every day.

Personal insights: Each of our parents should regard learning as a habit, as a habit of eating, breathing, and a natural thing to do every day. Because there is an old saying in China: Live until you are old and learn until you are old. When we truly hold such a concept and habit, you will find that no matter what problems or encounters, we can solve them. Why? Just like the input and output of the water water , because we continue to input , input , input. Continuously learning. So we can solve problems when we encounter them, right? So this is the tenth method of . If parents study hard, their children will improve every day. Well, today are our top ten tips for educating children. I hope it will be helpful to you. friends have different personalities and interpretations, please leave a message in the comment area , see you next time

As I just said, who do we see when we look in the mirror? It's ourselves. So when we see a child, the problems he has are actually our own projections and insinuations, and they are our own problems. So when we see a problem in our children, the first thing to ask ourselves is, do we have this problem ourselves, right?

Second, if not, is it possible that the child's problem is caused by one of our wrong education methods. Just like the kid I just talked about lying, right? It is caused by our wrong education methods. So we think about these two questions. For example, let's take . Many parents often ask me, "Teacher Wang, my child has a lot of temper tantrums, right?" Bad temper. Then I say, go find the father or mother of this child. There is a person with a bad temper. , then you can go find him again. This child’s er, go up to the top and find the grandpa and grandma. Or grandpa and grandma, one of them also has a bad temper. Because he said that the truth is, he said that my temper is not very good. And my mother also has a bad temper, right? You will find that this temper and temperament can be passed down from generation to generation in our family. Because why, this is that the influence of the original family is very huge. For another example, in many families, the mother is relatively strong and the father is relatively weak.

If you have a daughter, you will find that the daughter in this family will be as strong as her mother. If there was a son, he would be as vulnerable as his father. What is very interesting is that if the daughter finds a husband in the future, it is very likely that she will be as vulnerable as her father. When a son finds a wife in the future, he will most likely be as strong as his mother. I am not saying absolutely, but there are many such phenomena and cases to prove that it is very possible. So what will you find? Where do all the problems in children come from?

are all caused within our family, from our parents, right? So this sentence is for everyone. The problems in children are 100% the problems of their parents. At the same time, just said that when we see problems with our children, we should calm down first. Property asked itself two questions. First, do we have such problems ourselves. Second, if not, it may be one of our wrong education methods that caused this problem in our children. Then this is about 心法二:Children’s problems are one hundred percent the parents’ problems,

心法三:Every word we say and every behavior we do is for our children. Doing education

Every word we say and every action we take is educating our children. Many parents often ask me if my children don't do homework after school to help them study. I said, what do you do after you go home from get off work? He said that I had been working hard all day, and then I was very tired, so I lay on the sofa and started playing with my phone and watching TV to relax. Then I say that’s not right. Then many parents ask me again and again, Oh, teacher , why don’t my children say hello when they see the teacher? I said, what does it look like when you see the teacher? He was very embarrassed and said, oops, this teacher doesn’t know me either, I I, I are not too embarrassed to say hello, I said that’s not right, we ourselves have not done it, we have not done it ourselves. . Is it okay for us to ask our children to do the same when we greet the teacher? That's not possible, right? Because every word we say, every action we say, and every behavior we say will actually be seen by the child and he will listen.

In this case, all our actions and words are educating our children, because children grow up by imitating our parents. In other words, every word we say and every action we do will become a template, or an example, for children to behave in the world. What is demonstration? What we demonstrate to him is correct, and his behavior is correct. What our market gave him was wrong, and what he did or said was bad, right? If we often say bad words and spit randomly, will our children learn it? Knowing ,

, if we often run red lights when crossing the road, will our children learn it? Yes, I often see many parents on the road running red lights with their children when they come to pick up their children from school. Today you led him to run a red light, and one day you are not with him. Will he run a red light by himself? It’s also because this is what you taught him, so our words and deeds are educating

If you and your husband had a quarrel today, right? Then I got really angry, and many of us started doing things like lying down and throwing cups and cell phones. Well, let me tell you, the next time your child loses his temper, he will also throw something. Because this is what you teach them, so our words and deeds are educating children. We often talk about words and deeds. Language is very important, words are very important, and deeds are more important.,

When I often, I will ask this parent to play an action with me. I asked all the parents and friends to come and play a little game with me. What kind of little game is it? You watch , now , if you are watching the video here to learn, you can also join me to do this action , the game . If you want to learn better, don’t feel very restricted or embarrassed. Just make it yourself, okay? Come and raise your right hand with me, hey, don’t look at it, come and raise your right hand, raise your right hand , Come and raise your right hand with me, spin around in circles with me, stand up , stand up and spin around to make money faster. Okay, now listen carefully to what I say. You must listen carefully to what I say. The name of this game is Listen to the command and do the action. Listen to me carefully. Come and make money faster. Come and make it wider. Come and make it faster . Let me see how fast it is here. Come and make it faster . OK, now put your hand on your chin as quickly as possible, put it on your chin to stop, it can’t be changed, put it back ,

you will find that we are more than 90% Where are all the people? On the forehead right? Why did I just say before did I say that the name of this game is listener, you must listen carefully when you do the action, what do I say, right? But did we listen? No, why? Because I gave everyone a wrong example, right? I put my hand on my forehead, not my chin. So when what I say is inconsistent with what I do, you won't listen to what I say, you will only watch what I do, right? The same is true for children. When we ask them to be polite and civilized, we end up swearing and spitting. You will learn that child, so he will not listen to what we say, he will only watch what we do, right? Therefore, the power of one's worth is greater than the power of one's words. Because there is a saying in our education that what goes up leads to deeds. In other words, the behavior of the previous generation will be naturally and unconsciously imitated by the next generation. I just talked about the growth of children, which is to grow up by imitating the words and deeds of their parents.

So if we want our children and to be well educated and want our children to have good language and good behavior, then everyone should pay attention to every word we say and every behavior we must be careful about. Caution, right? So this is our third mentality. Every word and every behavior of parents is educating their children.

mentality 4: Only when we ourselves have truly changed will you find that the world will change

So let us have a think about what? That is, every time we say a word or do an action in the future, we must pay attention to our own image, and consider whether we have set a good template and a good example for our children, okay? Well, this is the third constitution, heart law four, we cannot change children, in fact we cannot change anyone, except ourselves. We cannot change children. The truth is, we can’t change anyone but ourselves.

Well, let’s not talk about children first. Let’s talk about couples first. You will find that many times we as husband and wife want to change each other. We always feel that the other person is not good enough, and then we start to change each other. You will find that some people have been trying to reform each other for several years or more than ten years, or even their whole lives. Have they succeeded? It hasn't been transformed, right? Because as I just said, we can't change anyone. Uh,

There was a person. After he died, it was written like this on his epitaph , He said , When I was young, I longed to change the world. , Right, I longed. Change the world, we all desire to change things, we all have dreams , Later, after a while, when I entered middle age, I realized that I could not change the world. So I thought I would change the people around me, I would change my family. Later he said that when I got older, I realized that I couldn't change anyone. The only thing I can change is myself. So he said that when I was young, if I could start by changing myself, then maybe I would be able to influence the changes in the people around me, my family, and the people around me through my own changes. And through their changes, they give me greater confidence and motivation. I might actually be able to change the world. So this is a person's epitaph. epitaph is a sentence or a paragraph that this person will leave to everyone in his life after he dies, right? Do you think that after a person dies, he leaves this paragraph to represent his life to the world? What does it mean? It shows that this is the deepest realization in his life.

Should we use this as a lesson? It requires , , so many parents will ask, "Teacher, if I can't change the child, how can the child change?" In fact, what was mentioned in this epitaph just now is that we influence the changes of our children through our own changes. We cannot change a person. But we can influence our children's changes through our own changes.

For example, uh, after our parents learned the method, what about after they listened to it? , Before their children, uh, they didn’t like to do morning exercises, and they didn’t listen carefully to the method. After , you will know how to use the power of language to start affirming and praising children. So he told the child, he said, child, do you know? The teacher praised you today, saying that you were very serious during morning exercises today, and your movements were much more standard than before.After

said it, the child kept confirming with him several times, asking, did the teacher really say that? He said yes, the teacher really praised you, but he found out the next day, because their kindergarten was not far from theirs, so he took a telescope to see the child, and found that the child When making breakfast, wow, I am much more serious than before. So you find out if the parents change themselves, right? What does it mean that you have changed? It means that you have learned how to guide your children. If you change a little bit, you will find that your children have also changed, and they will change accordingly, right? This is also the truth. So we say that parents’ progress is 1%, and children’s growth is 99%.

So when I was talking about this example, I was thinking that it is not easy for these parents, who still use a telescope to observe their children every day. So you see, every parent loves their children and wants to educate them well, right? Let's take another example. For example, among our children, many times we have children losing their temper, right?

But what if we do it? For example, when we are getting along with a child, one of his actions makes us particularly angry. What has been our past pattern? I immediately began to take this anger out on him. But if we could change our ways, how? What should we say to uh child ? My child, your behavior just now made me very uncomfortable and made me very angry. My mood is very bad now, and I am very angry, so please allow me to wait for a while. I will calm down first and deal with my own emotions first. I'll talk to you about this issue again in a while, right, and you'll find out, and then you go away and process your emotions.

You will find that your child will learn from your behavior. He will learn, right? The next time he encounters a problem, is in a bad mood, or wants to lose his temper, he will also learn from it. He said, "I'm sorry, I'm not in a good mood right now. I want to get angry, I'm very angry, so I'll calm down first, and we'll deal with this problem again later, and he will learn from it, right?" So you will find that if we change the child, the child will also change, okay? So this is the xin ritual. We can't change the children. In fact, we can't change anyone. The only thing we can change is to change ourselves. So when we change our children, we change. When we change the lovers around us, our parents, our colleagues, our friends, the people around us will change. So only when we ourselves truly change, will you find that the world will change.

Mind Method Five : Relationships come before education, deal with the relationship first, and then talk about education

Relationships deal with the relationship first with education, and then talk about teaching , So this sentence is not only applicable to children of all ages. ,Right? It is suitable for children from zero to eighteen years old, and it is also suitable for adults. But the performance is particularly obvious in adolescent children. Why do you say this? We all know that many adolescent children are unwilling to communicate with their parents. Many parents often tell me that my children are not willing and disobedient.. Some parents even say that my children are not willing. Listen to me. What do you mean? Many children in their adolescence slam their door shut immediately after returning home from school. There is something like this? Some children even put a small note on the door of the room, saying that private space and no other people should be allowed in.There is such a situation, right? why?

Then you talk about this situation, your parents come to have dinner, and then simply um, okay, and then you have to study hard today, seriously , good , right , just a few words of , um, Okay, this is all the communication in your life, and many parents are particularly troubled. I said how should I teach my children? I said you should not think about how to educate your children first. Because under such circumstances, no matter what you say, he won't listen to everyone. Is that why? Because he no longer trusts you and has closed his heart to you, so if you tell him anything else, will he listen? He can't listen to a word, what should

do? Let’s resolve the relationship first, think about how to get closer to your children, and how to focus on getting your children to trust you. This is the most important thing. For example, our here has a mother named . Why spend ? Why spend that child? He is fourteen years old. His son, due to the lack of companionship for the child before the couple, resulted in the child now. There are some problems with . started to communicate with children on WeChat.

He said about this child, He said that mom and dad were busy with work, and neglected to care about you, accompany you and educate you. Mom sincerely apologizes to you here. During this time, my mother came into contact with a home education teacher. He taught her a lot, so my mother sincerely apologizes to you and says I'm sorry. Hey, if you send this sentence to , you will find out how the child is doing. The child will actually be very surprised. Why? Because this is completely different from the previous you. But the difference supported that there would be a little surprise and a little joy in his heart. After

was over, the mother told the child this. He said that the mother found that many of the ways she treated you in the past were wrong, right? It is wrong to often not care about you, or to often criticize you. Mom apologizes to you, and then, mom learned that they have a summer camp here. Mom really wants to learn, and she really wants to grow and change herself. Do you think mom is going? Or should I just say yes? Then the mother said, there is one requirement for this summer camp, that is, if the adults go alone, it is not possible. The children must take the adults with them. This means that you must be accompanied by children. Then would you like to accompany your mother to to learn and grow? Mom really wants to grow and change. In the end, the child said yes, right?

You will find that it is as simple as these a few words, and then the child will be willing to go to the summer camp with you. So what will you find? You will find that this process brings you closer to your children first, right? And after apologizing like this, what about this child ? Although doesn’t talk to him much now, what will you find? This child has begun to trust his mother. Why do you say this? Later, a few days after passed, the mother sent me a screenshot of their WeChat account . When the child was sleeping in English class, he would tell his mother ,

and you would find it very interesting. Children's own bad behavior, adolescent children, right? His willingness to reveal his bad behavior to his mother shows that he trusts his parents. This is the most rare thing.When a child treats these bad things, such as uh Mom this or Dad this I have a girl who likes me and she confesses to me, what do you think I should do, right? When he is willing to tell you these things, you have the opportunity to educate him, which means that he trusts you, right? Otherwise, if I don’t tell you these things and you don’t understand them, how can you educate him? Therefore, the child's talk about the relationship between and education first, deal with the relationship first, and then talk about education.

Then there is another point here. I also have a sentence for everyone, which is to deal with your mood first and then deal with things. What's the meaning? For example, we talked about the problem of children fighting before. The child has been beaten, and he comes back bruised and swollen. He himself is also very wronged and hurt, right? He also felt very bad. As soon as he came back, you went all out to tell him that you wanted to give him , but wanted to kill him. It was wrong to educate him on this matter. We talk about dealing with emotions first and then things, so let’s not deal with the matter of his fight first.

Let’s not deal with it for now. Let’s calm down his emotions first and deal with his emotions first. Just say a Boy, why is this all green? It must be very painful, right? My mother also heard that you had a fight with other children in school today. This mother must know that you are not a child who likes to fight, but since you got into a fight today, something must have happened, right?

You see the injections are like this, can you tell mom what happened, right? You first express concern and understanding. You didn't stand on his opposite side and directly said that your fight was wrong. Instead, you expressed your understanding and asked about the reasons behind it. Like we talked about before, what's the reason behind - , right? We have to understand. Then you will find that this child is very willing to talk to you, and his emotions have been reflected in his behavior and emotions, and he has been understood and comforted by his parents.. If you tell him to guide you next time, everyone should How can encounter a situation like ? Is there any other solution to guide him and it will be easy?

So , is not just for children, it is the same for us adults. You will find that this is also the case when couples quarrel. What men argue about is always the truth. What's the use of crying? Do you think your grievances can be resolved? It can't be solved. You should be one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, right? As a result, the woman feels that I can’t listen to a word you say. You said this means you don't care about me, right? Men quarrel over reason, while women quarrel over love. Women only care about one thing: you are sick and don’t care about me. Do you care about me or things, right? So if a man can know how to soothe a woman's emotions first, I know it's very hard for you at home every day, washing clothes, cooking, and taking care of the children. And these things are trivial things, so it is often easy to feel that a lot of emotions have been accumulated, so it is often easy to be irritable and in a bad mood. I can understand it very well. If you say this, will this woman feel that she is understood and respected? Then after you have settled the situation, and then discuss the specific matters with him, um, it will be solved very easily, right? You can avoid a lot of quarrels , So whether it is children or adults, whether it is husband and wife, or between colleagues or friends, all relationships are connected. That is to deal with your mood first and then deal with things, right? Then this is a point in our fifth method. Let’s review the fifth mental method, which is to deal with the relationship first and education first, and then talk about education. If the relationship is not handled well, any education will be pale and ineffective.This is the fifth heart method : Relationship comes before education, handle the relationship first, and then talk about education

heart method Six : Education is a process of input and output.

Education is a process of input and output , what does mean? I won’t tell you more, but will give you a demonstration. Look, this is a cup, right? Is this cup empty?

The child is like this cup. This is whether the child is empty when he first comes to our home. He can do nothing, right? But it’s not that we don’t know everything. We have what we can do. For example, this is us. Do we have a little bit of water inside us? What do we know about ? What do we know about ?

We just started teaching children to speak, this is what we know, teaching children to walk, this is what we know, teaching children to be polite, teaching children to do things seriously, right? We gave him all the things we knew, screamed, screamed. Hey, did you find that we still had something to give him? No more, we have handed over all the things and we are empty, right? Okay, now I have encountered a problem with . What is the problem? We can't solve the problem when a child loses his concentration or throws a tantrum. Why? Because we don’t understand it ourselves. We don’t even know how to solve the problem of lack of concentration. We here don’t know what causes temper tantrums or how to solve them. So we can’t give children, right?

So you found , . The height of the parent is the height of the child. The height of the parent is this point, and the height of the child can only be this point, right? So how to solve this problem? How to deal with it? There is a saying that is not capable enough, so it needs resources. What does it mean when we ourselves are not enough? It means that we don’t put water into it again, right? There is no heavy input. So if we focus on and input at this time, how can we focus on and input? Learn with focus. Just like everyone at this moment, watching the video to learn, what does that mean?

For example, what did you learn from this today? Teach children to pay attention, how to deal with children's this and emotions, and how to calm children's tantrums? Did you learn these things again? Then after you learn it, will you teach it to your children, right? Be careful and teach your children to give everything you have learned to them.

What is the only way? Is it our own input of heavy heart water injection and heavy heart right? So what is one thing I often say? Parents' learning and growth is the only and most effective way to change their children. It is also the most effective way. When we continue to learn, we will have a continuous flow of water into our children. Let's get some water, right? We will participate in offline learning next time and learn something, and we will give it to our children again, right?

You will find that only if we have continuous income can we have continuous output. Why? Because the child is growing up, are the problems he encounters at the age of three the same as the problems he encounters at the age of 13? It’s different, so when the child encountered problems when he was three years old, we solved them. When the child was five years old, we encountered a problem again, and because we couldn't solve it, we needed to focus on input again. It's still a problem of eight years old in June. We need to focus on input and then output it to him. Therefore, parents’ continuous learning and growth and continuous input of water are the most effective ways to educate their children well, right? Well, this is the first point called education, which is a process of input and output.Then you can tell how many things you input, and how much you can output to your children. This is the first point , what is the second point

? The second point is that the child inputs whatever we say, right? If what we output is good and clear water, then what the child inputs is clear water. If we ask him to speak, we ask him to be polite, and we ask him to do things seriously, if this is a good thing, then the child will become clear water. But what if we have some bad things, we swear, we spit, we curse, we even do this, we lose concentration, right? It is not good for us to play with mobile phones. You will find out whether we also lose these things, whether we also input and output to our children in the same way. Hey, you will find that after we say something is wrong, the child becomes something, becomes dirty, right? This is the first point. We have these bad things at home. I would like to ask everyone if there are any classmates outside who would give or import some bad things to their children. Then the teacher may also introduce some bad things in society to the children, right? What will you notice about this child? Is he starting to become muddled? Is

right? It has become turbid, what should we do at this time? As I just said, whatever we input is what the children input. What kind of influence does society, teachers and classmates give him, will be what kind of influence he has, right? The child has become filthy now. What should I do if it becomes turbid? It’s still the same method. At this time, many people will say to pour out the water, heavy heart heavy heart and then inject clean water? no.

What can I do? It's when we continue to learn and grow, we continue to learn and grow, right? We keep pouring water into it, and we keep pouring water into it, and we keep pouring water into it, and we make it crispy. Hey, you noticed that this child is getting lighter and lighter, right? Of course, most of this cup has been poured out in , so when we continue to do , we continue to conflict with , and the income continues, even if it flows out, even if we translate it, we are still doing it. . In the end, the water in this cup is getting lighter and lighter, right? Of course, it's impossible to be completely clear. It's impossible to be like this one. Why, because we humans always have some traces and problems. It's impossible for to be perfect, right? So this is a question about children. What does it mean? Let’s summarize it. The first sentence is called education. is a process of input and output.

So only by continuous input can we have continuous output. We can solve the problems of three-year-olds, five-year-olds, thirteen-year-olds and eighteen-year-olds, so how can we solve them? That is, we continue to learn, continue to inject water, and continue to input water into our bodies. So what is the first point of and the second point of ? What we export to the child is what we import. If we give the good to the child, he will inject the good. If we give the child something bad, he will be bad, right? What should we do if the problem is that the child is getting older? Just pay attention to injecting clean water into your child. If you keep injecting clean water, he will gradually become clearer and clearer, have fewer and fewer problems, and have more and more good behaviors and bad behaviors. Behaviors will become less and less , This is the sixth heart method : Education is a process of input and output.

Thoughts Seven: Look at the current education from the perspective of the child’s life span, and don’t just focus on the immediate good or bad.

From the perspective of the child’s life span, the current education should not only focus on the immediate good or bad. .Many parents at the scene, including on Douyin, were consulting me. Many parents asked me anxiously that I have a very difficult problem. What should I say? He said that my child scored 95 points in the last math test, but this time he only scored 92 points, a drop of three points. What do you think is going on?

I said this is a normal fluctuation, very normal, I think it is very interesting. You said that a child cannot always get 100%, right? He cannot always have this score, right? Fluctuations are normal. Just like when we participate in the Olympics, our Olympic champion's best time in the 100-meter sprint is a little over nine seconds. But it’s impossible for him to run 100 meters for more than nine seconds every time. He just said that he would only run over nine seconds when he performs exceptionally well and is in good condition, right? So he is within a normal range of fluctuations, which is normal. so this is one. As for other parents, there was a parent before this. After he added me on Douyin , he asked me a question. He said that my child is now fourteen years old and is studying in junior high school. He is a son. . Then , uh, a girl confessed to him. You see, this son is willing to confess to the girl and tell his mother. What does it mean? Is the relationship between them very good? There is a relationship. Okay,

presupposes that we can have a correct guide for our children. Like what I just said, , , so , and then this mother asked me what should I do? I learned about the situation and found out that this boy is a relatively rational boy. He is not the kind of boy who is very impulsive and prone to make mistakes in relationships or is very extreme for feelings or love. Such a desperate boy. No, then I will tell the mother, oh, this way I discovered that this boy is also interested in this girl. I just said uh, if you advise him not to fall in love, but you can also just say it briefly. But if he really wants to, and you tell him, then go ahead and talk if you can. Why? Because of the first point, what should we consider about ?

The first point , This child is only in junior high. If a girl confesses to him at this time, but he suppresses it and does not talk about it, then it is possible that another girl will confess to him in the third grade of junior high school. At that time, he talked about whether it would affect his high school entrance examination. When he was in junior high school instead of high school, he might want to talk about whether it would affect his college entrance examination. The impact would be more serious at that time, right?

this first second point what is it? The second point is that we all need to learn this child. What should he learn? Balance schoolwork with love, right? We adults must also learn to balance work and family. So it's possible that the beginning of dating had a certain impact on his studies. normal. But we need to guide him on how to pull it back and maintain a good balance, then this is an exercise. In this way, our children will be able to have a good balance between family and work in society in the future, which also requires training. Then the second point

and the third point is the future. The relationships we had when we were students are all bright futures. When we look back on this relationship in twenty years, thirty years, or even when we are old, it will be a very beautiful memory, right? What are the third and fourth points? With this emotional experience. After this experience, we will accumulate some emotional experience. In this case, when we enter society and get married in the future, our chances of happiness will be higher

Why do you say this? Because I am , I am . I have this personal experience myself. It is because when I was a student, I was a very well-behaved child. I did not dare to cross the line, so why did my mother and father say that I was like this? Do.Then, I discovered that I didn’t fall in love when I was a student. I think this is a big regret in my life.

Later I entered the society and slowly started to fall in love. Then, I accidentally gave birth to a child, so I started to get married. In the end, I found that I still couldn't handle emotional problems after giving birth to a child. Why? Because you have no experience at all before, right? So we got divorced in the end. So it is good for our children to talk about feelings when they are students. Why? Because love in student days is very pure, without any interests mixed in it. So in this case, the accumulated experience of children's emotions is very helpful, right?

If you analyze it from this perspective, you will find that children fall in love or are in puppy love. What is puppy love? I don’t think falling in love as a teenager is premature love. In fact, there is nothing wrong with it. Because we have to look at the length of a child's life, instead of just focusing on the present. It temporarily affects the academic performance, no, but it has a slight impact on learning.

How should we help the child balance it out, rather than rejecting him completely? Because today you asked him to say that you would never fall in love. I told you that he would also do it secretly. Do you believe it? He even made his sneaky talk. Then, if you do some bad behavior, you don’t even know that you might make a bigger mistake, right? So when we teach our children to love, we must guide them and teach them how to fall in love, how to protect themselves, and at the same time protect others, right? So this is a good educational opportunity?

Then let’s go back to the point of . As we just said, we need to look at the length of a child’s life, not just the current education. For example, if their children don't eat, many parents will be very anxious if they don't eat. Then I say he doesn’t eat, does he eat vegetables? He is not a vegetable, does he eat other things, right? Otherwise, how will he survive? He will definitely be hungry, so you will find that the problem of eating requires the child to be older. Whether it will be solved at seven, eight, nine or ten years old, it will be solved naturally, right?

So we have to start from this sentence, we have to look at it in the long run, from a lifetime perspective, instead of just focusing on the present, okay? Because when we have this perspective, our education can be accurate. Do many parents only see the performance of their children in front of them? In fact, the results of education are not tested in schools, but in society. That is to say, after a child enters society in ten or twenty years, it depends on whether he can survive well in society. The career is doing well. Whether he can get along well in interpersonal relationships and whether he can have a happy family are the results of our education, right? This is the place to test the results of our education. So the mentality seven: We should look at children's education from the perspective of a lifetime, and don't just see the temporary good or bad in front of us.

Tip 8 : Treat children as adults. Treat children as adults. There are two interpretations of

. The first perspective is to treat children as adults and treat children as adults. That is to say, when we encounter every problem of our children, we think about whether we adults have solved it, and of course how we have dealt with it, right? For example, if a child has trouble concentrating, are we adults also having trouble concentrating? For example, if a child stays in bed, have we adults ever stayed in bed? For example, if a child loses his temper, have we adults lost our temper, right?

Let’s think about it from our perspective. For example, if we don’t concentrate, what is the problem with our own inattention? You will find out where the problem is for your child to concentrate on one step.To give you my own example, for example, I often prepare lessons, and you will find that sometimes I lose concentration. I found that there are several reasons. ,

The first one is to interfere with the mobile phone. From time to time, I will come to WeChat or A message or a phone call, right? Then I , I , I , I did what I did. I turned my phone to silent, and then turned off the traffic and wifi, and put it in the bedroom. I am in the study room, including turning off the Internet on my computer. Why? Because a new news pops up in the computer from time to time, and then your vision is affected. You may be attracted by a very news. is very popular, and it is very attractive. Eyeballs. You just get attracted to it and then go somewhere else, right? So this interference is a factor.

Is it possible that the same children have this factor? It's possible, then there's something else that could interfere with our attention. For example, if I didn't sleep well last night, I have no energy today and I have no energy at all. So whether I am listening to classes, doing things, or preparing lessons, can I concentrate? It's impossible. So this is about our physical aspect, right? Also loses concentration. What else could be causing the lack of concentration? For example, if I had a fight with my wife yesterday, or if you had a fight with your husband yesterday, then you have emotions in your heart. Then when you go to work today, or when you do things, and you need to be highly focused, your concentration and attention will also be affected. Because that emotion still affects you, right?

This is the first perspective, and there is a second perspective . How to talk about ? Treat children as adults and treat children as an independent person. . What does mean? Many parents think that their children are theirs, right? When you lose your temper, you say that you are all mine, and whatever I say is what I say, and you do what I say, and you are all mine. This is a completely wrong concept. A child does not belong to his parents, nor is he an accessory of his parents. He is an independent person, he has his own thoughts, and he has his own mission, right? Children only come into the world through us, but after they come into the world, they have their own dreams and missions, they have their own ideas, and they have their own lives to live. Therefore, parents cannot control their children's lives arbitrarily, they must dominate their children's lives. If you try to do this, you will find that the more you control, the worse your relationship will be, and the more you control, the more your relationship will become more and more alienated. It could end up being very nasty.

So this is the second perspective, which is to treat children as adults. treats children as an independent person. How do we view it? Is that the most basic thing? When we get along with others, we should treat children equally and respect them. This is so important. If we could treat children equally and with respect, then you think a lot of the problems would be solved, right? This is also the reason why this adolescent child is rebellious because our parents do not treat them as equals and respect them. The same is true for children, So this is our mentality eight : Treat children as adults from two perspectives , The first perspective is to treat children as adults, and treat children as adults , The second Perspective, treat the child as an adult, treat him as an independent person with equality and respect.

Mental Method Nine : The relationship between husband and wife is greater than the relationship between parent and child

After having children, many parents spend all their time, focus and energy on their children.There is no such time for two people to spend time together as a husband and wife, and there is no such emotional connection between two people as a husband and wife. In fact, there is a problem with this. Why? Because we have love first, and then we can have the crystallization of love, right? In a home, the father is the heaven of the child and the heaven of the home, and the mother is the of the child's home. So if the relationship between father and mother is not harmonious, for the child, it means that the world is not harmonious. We got along, but we were unhappy. Then you say that this child between heaven and earth can grow up healthily both physically and mentally.

So when it comes to the relationship between husband and wife and parent-child relationship, let’s discuss it . There are many kinds of relationships in our family. For example, we have a parent-child relationship, right? We have the relationship between husband and wife, we have the relationship between husband and wife, uh, the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, or the relationship with our parents, we have the relationship between brothers and sisters, right?

Let us tell you, which of these relationships is the most important? Which relationship is the most important? Let me give you an example and you will understand. We have five fingers, right? The thumb is the relationship between us and our parents. In essence, it is the relationship between us and our brothers and sisters. The little finger is our relationship with our children, and the ring finger is our relationship with someone. We all know where the wedding ring is worn. Wearing it on the ring finger is the relationship with the husband and wife.

So we put our hands together like this, right? Then do it well in this way, and you will find that whether the big thumb fingers can be separated, the relationship with the parents can be separated. No matter how good our relationship with our parents is, one day we will leave our parents and start our own family, so we can be separated. You can tell if your index fingers can be separated, right? No matter how close we are as brothers and sisters since childhood, we will have our own families and live separate lives when we grow up. Can the little thumb be separated? If we can separate it, what is the relationship between us and our children? No matter how good this is, when the child grows up, he will leave us, so we can also separate . Can the ring finger of be separated? Can the ring finger be separated? Right, you see it will be difficult for you, because I have to do this to separate. But if you are like this, , if you are like this, can be separated? As long as the other fingers don't move, can you separate them like this? You see, this is very difficult, this is very easy, this is very easy, this is very easy, this is very easy, this is the ring finger that is very difficult to separate, right? Why?

Because the relationship between husband and wife is the most important, the relationship between husband and wife is the core of the relationship in a family. So here we talk about the relationship between husband and wife being greater than the relationship between parents and children. So here I will not focus on the relationship between husband and wife. I just want to give everyone this concept. We should not spend all our time and energy on the parent-child relationship, but on the children. So we have to pay attention to maintaining the relationship between husband and wife, okay? Because if husband and wife often quarrel and are unhappy, the atmosphere, aura, and energy field of the home will be wrong for the child, and the child will be very sensitive. You said how could he grow up healthy physically and mentally, right? So this is the ninth method of : The relationship between husband and wife is greater than the relationship between parents and children . Later we will specifically talk about how to get along with each other in the intimate relationship between husband and wife.

mentality 十: means that parents study hard and their children make progress every day.

We are all first-time parents, right? But why do some people do well when they become parents for the first time, while others do poorly? Most people don't do well, but very few do well. There are two reasons. The first reason is that his parents did a good job in educating him since he was a child, and they had a good influence on him.In fact, the way we educate our children, if we don't learn and change, the way we treat our children is the way our parents treated us when we were children, right?

So what do the first type of people do well? Because the way his parents treated him when he was a child was right, and the family education was very good, so he treated him and himself well too. Then he will also give this kind of education method to his children next time.

So what is the second category ? That is, after he becomes a parent or after he becomes a parent, he can understand the child's growth pattern and understand the child's inner world by studying family education, right? Understand how to educate children. So to give children a good education, there are two ways. But the first method is that if you have a good family education environment since childhood, this kind of method is very rare. As for , this kind of , this parent , there are almost very few . In our society, more than 90% of children are now educated at home. There are big problems in the original family.

Some parents are doing careful education. What is careful education? It's just that my child had a conflict with his classmate today, right? You have to guide him to spend time and thought on how to deal with it. This is careful education. Your child is facing an exam today, and he is under a lot of pressure. You have to face him, and you have to teach him how to provide emotional counseling. This is this uh elaborate education, right? My child got into trouble with his classmate today. You have to teach him how to get along. This is careful education, right? If you educate this child carefully and spend so much time, energy and effort on it, you will be very worry-free when this child grows up, and he himself can avoid many avoidable detours. ,Right? That's carefully education.

But if you just feed it, that's what many parents are doing, just caring about their children's eating, drinking and sleeping , cooking for him and washing clothes for him, right? Then you ask for money and give him money, and you only care about this. There is no spiritual communication. Without this kind of spiritual communication, when he encounters a problem, how to guide it and how to solve it, right? Establish the correct three views for him, and then how to deal with problems when they encounter them. We don’t teach him, we just feed him. So you will find that as the child gets older, he will have more and more problems.

I often say something called , Educate your children to be careful in the first half of their lives, and they will be worry-free in the second half of their lives. You seem to be worried in the first half of your life, but you will definitely be sad in the second half of your life. So this is uh parents who carefully educate their children are those who focus on raising their children in the first half of their lives, and parents who only care about making ends meet will be less worried in the first half of their lives and will be sad in the second half of their lives. So this is the concept I want to give everyone, that is, we parents must study hard. Why? Because you educate him carefully, you can save a lot of worry in the future.

educates children, but as a result, we do not have any pre-job training or any parent qualification certificate. Do you think it's dangerous? It's like driving without a driver's license, right? What problems will occur? Deduction of this, deduction of driver's license, fine or small fine, what is more serious? may lead to car crashes and fatalities, right?

So if we want to be a good parent, we must be qualified, and we must learn the methods, concepts and concepts of educating children, right? Know the correct way to educate your children, so that you can give them a good education. Just like you who are studying at this moment, what does it mean to study now? means you slowly do it in but doesn’t matter, it’s never too late to learn.The last thing is that you don’t study.

As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree was ten years ago, and the second best time is now. So it’s never too late to learn now, okay? Then this is the method ten . Another point is what I mentioned before. If parents grow one percent, their children will make progress, ninety-nine percent of the time. Just like the many examples I just mentioned, right? Parents may apologize to their children a little, and the relationship will ease, which is a big improvement. This parent may be a little bit more to his child. The teacher praised you at school today. You were very serious in doing the operation and did a very good job. will be more serious.

So as long as parents grow up a little, the child will not change. The change and growth are huge. Just like what we said today, there are ten methods of method of education, then these are these ten methods. You don’t need to talk about it. You don’t need to learn anything else. Just these ten mental methods. Once you think about them thoroughly and understand them, you can go back and use them on your children. I can guarantee that your children will have many benefits. Big changes, so that's the role of parent learning. So I will tell you about the ten principles of learning : if the mother studies hard, the child will make progress every day.

Personal insights: Each of our parents should regard learning as a habit, as a habit of eating, breathing, and a natural thing to do every day. Because there is an old saying in China: Live until you are old and learn until you are old. When we truly hold such a concept and habit, you will find that no matter what problems or encounters, we can solve them. Why? Just like the input and output of the water water , because we continue to input , input , input. Continuously learning. So we can solve problems when we encounter them, right? So this is the tenth method of . If parents study hard, their children will improve every day. Well, today are our top ten tips for educating children. I hope it will be helpful to you. friends have different personalities and interpretations, please leave a message in the comment area , see you next time