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I would like to ask you a question, how do you deal with the child losing his temper and crying?
Sometimes children are having fun outside and cry when they don’t want to go home.
I was playing in the sand in the park and cried when I saw other children’s toys even if they didn’t give them to them.
builds building blocks, but even if he doesn’t succeed, he still cries.
And the crying lasted for more than a few minutes. If I didn’t coax her calmly, I would cry for more than half an hour.
It is estimated that many mothers have encountered such a headache and embarrassing moment!
Today we will talk about what to do if the child loses his temper?
01
First, let’s take a look at the statistics voted by netizens and the way most parents choose to handle it.
The first type: uses toys or delicious food to lure the child away and divert the child's attention.
The second type: Ignore the child and let the child cry as much as he can. The more he cries, the more he will realize that crying is useless. How to say these two methods,
, actually make sense, but they are not completely correct.
02
When a child loses his temper, you should also look at the situation according to the situation.
If it is the first type below, you must sternly refuse it. Let’s see which type of tantrum it is?
Type 1: This kind of tantrum is caused by the child on purpose.
Because he wanted to buy a toy, he started rolling around and would not leave until he bought it.
At this time, parents must not be soft-hearted and agree. They must let their children understand that everything they do has a price.
For example, parents can say: If you cry and make trouble again, I will not take you to the mall or go out to play for a week.
This is to let the children understand that this kind of blackmail method of losing temper is useless.
Because children themselves cannot recognize boundaries, this boundary must be specified by parents.
The second type: children really can’t control their emotions.
Many children lose their temper not intentionally, but because they really cannot control their emotions, especially children between the ages of 2 and 6.
03
Does the child lose his temper on purpose? Harvard psychologist research: It’s different than expected
A psychology professor at Harvard University has conducted in-depth research on children’s tantrums from a psychological perspective over the past 20 years, which can be called a textbook level.
focused on the analysis and research on the second type of children mentioned above, children who cannot control their emotions.
summarizes the research of psychology professors. First of all, what is the reason why children cannot control their temper?
research data shows that the human lower brain is responsible for primitive functions such as emotional reactions and impulsive reflexes.
At the same time, the human upper brain is responsible for more rational thinking such as controlling emotions, rational planning, and planning and design.
In children in early childhood, their upper brain development is incomplete, and they cannot instinctively control their emotions well.
04
How to train children to better control their emotions?
Through training, children can still control their emotions more flexibly.
Point 1: When children lose their temper, comfort them as soon as possible.
Let children relax their nervous emotions and at the same time gain a sense of security from their parents.
Although some parents love their children in their hearts, what they express with their mouths is scolding, such as: Why cry! Just know how to cry!
This is not acceptable, because the purpose of soothing is to calm down the child's mind and prepare for the next step of rational thinking.
The second point: Help children establish rational thinking
How to do it specifically?
can use the form of question and answer to let children think about the problem.
Suppose a child wants another child's toy, but others don't give it to him.
At this time, you can ask your child: Baby, are you just curious about toys, but actually you don’t really want them that much?
asks this question, can help children think about why they lost their temper just now, thereby helping them exercise their upper brain.
Whether the child's answer is correct or not is not the most important. The key is that the child forms the habit of rational thinking in the act of thinking.
The third point: Improve children’s ability to feel.
Let the child understand how his mother feels and how the people around him feel when he loses his temper.
This is a step-by-step process. In addition to communicating with children, children can pay attention to emotions when reading picture books and books.
After the child reads it, you can ask him how he feels, so that the child can learn to think from learning.
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