Many star parents often think why their star children always "do not understand", and "do not understand" seems to have become the life schedule of the star children. When the parents ask their children to do something, the children will Just stand aside.
Actually, star children "do not understand" sometimes because the parents give their children instructions beyond the child's cognitive and understandable level, so they do not understand. However, letting children learn to follow instructions can train children’s obedience. Compliance is an important part of social groups. It is also one of the important conditions for children to integrate into the environment when they enter campus life in the future. So it doesn't matter if the child doesn't understand it!
But how can a child understand it? Today, let us learn to "speak" well~
01 Only say one thing at a time
When parents give instructions to their children, do not say many things at once, but should be clear to the children An instruction, such as: help mother get an apple from the plate, instead of "help mother get some apples from the plate", a clear instruction can let the child know clearly what the parents want him to do.
02 When giving instructions to children, clearly give them choices
Will this happen often in the lives of adults? When someone asks what they want for dinner, most people don’t answer. Yes, just answer casually. Such an answer often makes people wonder what kind of dinner to prepare. In the same way, when parents need their children to do something, they must clearly give their children choices, such as: Do you want to eat apples or bananas for after-meal fruits? 、Do you want to drink warm water or ice water?
03 Start with simple instructions
If you have not learned to walk, don’t rush to run. If parents want to train their children to follow instructions, don’t give them difficult tasks at the beginning. Start with the level of cognition, like a trivial matter in daily life,Taking water cups, collecting toys, wiping the table, etc., can all be used as an introduction to training children's obedience. After the children are very familiar with these tasks, they can move on to more difficult tasks.
Warm reminder:
If the child is not clear about up and down, left and right, front and rear, then such words should be avoided when giving instructions to the child. When the position cannot be identified, the person will just stand aside after receiving such an instruction.
04 Don’t keep repeating instructions
When the parent repeats the child’s instruction, if the child does not respond, the parent’s reflex action is to keep repeating the instruction, thinking that the child did not hear it, but when the child is given the instruction, the child does No response, sometimes it's not that the child didn't hear it, but the child didn't know what to do. At this time, it is useless to give the child instructions repeatedly.
When parents give instructions to their children, but the children do not respond, the parents can gently pull the child's hand and take the child to do it once. In this way, not only can the demonstration effect be achieved, the child can also know what the instruction just given is .
05 Establish rules and clearly follow
When giving instructions to children, please clearly formulate rules of rewards and punishments, such as: After finishing math homework, you can play a tablet for 20 minutes (this reward can be a reinforcement that the child likes) ), but if the child fails to do it, don’t give the child a reward. This will make the child think: I can get the reward if I didn’t complete the task, so the child will become more and more immobile. On the contrary, if the child has done the things required by the instruction, don't add more tasks. This will make the child think that the parents are always talking, and will never listen to the parents again next time.
06 Remember to reward children
When adults work hard to complete a task, they always want to reward themselves. For autism children,The same is true. When the child completes the instruction of the parent, the parent can prepare the child’s favorite things as a reinforcement to reward the child. When the child completes the instruction, the reward will be given immediately. This way, not only can the child be encouraged, but the next time the parent will be a parent When giving instructions to the child, the child will also be happy to do it.
07 Parents should not fall into the vicious circle of their own temper
Will parents often appear in this state and give instructions to their children → children do not do → parents are angry, getting more and more impatient, and speaking more and more loudly → The child is crying → the parent's tone becomes worse and even punishes the child → the child seems to be finally willing to do it, but next time he encounters a similar thing, the child is unwilling to do it. Such a repeated cycle, until the parents continue to continue Roaring and louder, the child kept crying.
Parents should be aware of their temper. Once they are about to lose their patience or speak louder, they can take a deep breath and discuss with their children. Otherwise, when the emotions accumulate, not only will the parents easily vent to their children, Children will also be afraid of their parents, making the parent-child relationship more and more alienated.
is written at the end
When writing this article, the editor suddenly thought that many cooking videos like to tell us: a little salt, a moderate amount of sugar, a little cooking wine and so on. This method often troubles novice cooks. When the taste is not delicious, the idea of giving up will spring up. The editor of
believes that this principle is very applicable when parents train their children to be obedient. Clear and suitable instructions for children's cognitive level can make children understand them. After children understand them, the chances of hands-on operations are higher. On the contrary Yes, if the instruction given by the parent exceeds the child’s cognitive understanding, the child may be reluctant to do it.
Therefore, learning to give children appropriate instructions is the foundation. As for how to give instructions, parents must work hard to observe their children's status in life.
Picture source: Photograph.com Genuine Gallery
Editor in charge: Mijian Star Editor
Article layout: Mijian Carotene
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