You take your baby shopping, he will want all kinds of toys, or buy snacks tirelessly, and often ask for designer clothes. In fact, a child's material desires cannot be satisfied casually, which is not good for the child's growth. If the parents blindly satisfy the baby, the baby's requirements will increase. Once dissatisfied, the baby will cry endlessly. If things go on like this, the baby's personality will become more and more impatient and spoiled.
1. Delay in meeting the needs of children
The so-called delayed gratification refers to the willingness to give up the choice of current gratification for more valuable long-term results, and the self-control shown in the process of waiting. Its development is a necessary condition for individuals to complete various tasks, coordinate interpersonal relationships, and successfully adapt to society.
Delayed gratification is not only the most important skill for children's self-control, but also an important part of children's socialization and emotional regulation. It is also a basic and positive personality factor that accompanies their life. It is an important symbol of children's transition from immaturity to maturity, and from dependence to independence.
Children with a strong ability to delay gratification will be easier to adapt to the society in the future, show better social competitiveness, higher work and study efficiency, better face the difficulties and pressures brought by life at any time, and are pursuing the peak goal of life At the time, resist the temptation in front of you, so as to achieve a longer-term and more valuable goal.
If you delay the development of abilities to meet your own needs, you will lack the good habits mentioned above, and you will be prone to some bad behaviors, irritability and lack of patience, and people with psychological problems are more likely to appear. In the face of the various associations produced by the society, they will also be weakened, and many situations will be at a loss.
So how to cultivate children's ability to delay gratification?
First, we need to teach our children to wait. Parents should not immediately make some demands for their children, nor should they worry about their children's violent reactions. For example, when a child is shopping and wants his parents to buy toys he likes, the parents should not buy them immediately. Instead, they can try to communicate with their children patiently. For example, tell the child how to behave before receiving the gift. Specifically, the baby can walk on his own, help her mother carry things, or go home to help her mother clean the room. Make him feel that you have to pay to gain something.
You can also ask your baby to tell why he wants this thing.If the reason is not sufficient, the father needs to refuse the child's request. At this time, the most important thing is not to be soft-hearted and not to compromise when the child is crying. Let the child know that the attitude of the parents is uncompromising, so that he will not cry and ask for it in the future.
Secondly, children need encouragement from their parents, which will increase their interest and patience in doing things, but rewards also require skill. For example, when encouraging, use language, eyes, hugs and other body language to express. Try to avoid long-term material rewards. The child’s self-confidence is relatively easy to be satisfied, so saying "you are doing well, you are great" and applauding the child can make the child feel affirmed and the self-confidence will be greatly improved.
Teach children to be empathetic and let them slowly understand that there are more important things than their own requirements, so that they can cultivate children and let them learn to control their emotions and impulses. Parents should set a good example for their children. Children's common behaviors are learned through observation. Therefore, parents must do a good job in all aspects to establish an authoritative and persuasive image for their children.
2. Don't promise your baby lightly
When the child is crying or throwing things wanton, the parents who are eager to get rid of the child have to agree to the child, as long as they don't cry, buy small toys or snacks for the child. In the eyes of adults, children will be perfunctory if they are young and ignorant.
Then, in the eyes of a child, it is not the same thing. They believe that their parents are the most trustworthy people, and their commitment is as indestructible as a copper wall. Parents’ promises, even trivial matters, will make children distrustful.
Over time, the power of parents' WeChat will decline, and children will question their parents' love for themselves because of their parents' perfunctory efforts. Even if the parents make a sincere promise in the future, because of their previous performance, the child will think that the parents are perfunctory again, and in severe cases will feel depressed, so they will become desperate. Some children will be influenced by their parents and learn to lie and deceive, which is not conducive to their psychological growth.
Therefore, parents need to make a careful commitment. Once you have promised your child, you should keep the promise. Lead by example and set an example of trustworthiness in front of children.
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