Star children who have the ability to be alone will not become "template people" in the future

2021/07/2721:02:43 baby 2121

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A few days ago, Mr. Kepu chatted with an autistic parent friend and heard her say this:

He will complete his various skills obediently. Even though the tasks I arrange for my children every day are full, he never loses his temper. But the child's father felt that I was too strict with the child, forced the child too tight, and did not have any private time alone.

But what am I for? It is not for children to learn early, to take care of themselves, to have the ability to take care of themselves, and to go to school. Besides, a child with autism is already "autistic", and if you give him some time alone, wouldn't it make him more autistic...

After this parent's words, what do you think? Of course, we are not questioning the parent's love for the child, but wondering, can a child with autism really not have "alone time"? Today we will discuss this issue with you all.

1. Why do children need to be alone?

Whether it is a child of an ordinary family,For children from autistic families, many parents will think that children need some time alone. If parents don’t watch them all the time, they will start to be naughty soon, so the children must always be in control.

Actually, everyone wants to have their own time alone. Have a period of time at your disposal, in which you can do what you want to do. This is true of us adults, and so are children.

moderate alone in favor of children:

1, to promote the psychological maturity smaller

children more afraid Being alone, the more people who are afraid of being alone, the stronger the dependence, and the lack of autonomy and independence, and the mentality is immature. Carrying out certain solitude training can enhance children's solitude ability and cultivate children's independence and autonomy, which is also of great benefit to children's psychological maturity.

2. Promote intellectual development

, when they are alone, they will become more focused. Meditation, active thinking. It can be seen that allowing children to be alone in moderation can promote all aspects of their intelligence.It can promote the development of children's intelligence from low-level to high-level.

3. Promote social development

and introspect on 25span. Through this internal integration, we can better understand ourselves and accept ourselves so as to better communicate with others. In the same way, appropriate solitude training for children can also help children form a good self, which will make them cheerful, confident, and honest, so as to better and more effectively communicate with others.

4. Promote the development of creativity

is usually the biggest reward for creativity when it is done alone. For too much. Therefore, for children, moderate solitude and development of the ability to be alone will develop their imagination and stimulate their creative potential.

5. Promote mental health

When people are conscious of stress, they will be more awake and more focused. State, so as to adjust the state and cope with the pressure. It can be seen that being alone is a good medicine for mental health.It not only relieves life pressure, refreshes emotions, and allows children to be moderately alone but also improves their mental health.

2. Autism will be more autistic if you spend time alone?

As long as many parents fall into this kind of misunderstanding that children have autism, the core of their children is that they have autistic disorder. Put yourself in the hustle and bustle, and your autism will alleviate. On the contrary, if the child is left for a play and time alone, it will harm the child.

But in fact, when we talk about "alone time", we don't mean to encourage children to always play alone and stay alone. " alone" refers to the process in which the subject consciously avoids external interference for a short time in a specific time and space, communicates information and emotions with others without physical space, and is immersed in one's own world and thinking independently.

Simply put, children can integrate the information they have absorbed, think independently, and finally combine their own cognition to turn this knowledge into their own.

For children with autism, pushing children into the crowd will only increase their panic and make them feel insecure. And we must admit,In many cases, we cannot guarantee that there will be people around our children at all times, nor can we guarantee that we will have vigorous energy to take care of the children every year. Therefore, it is very important for children to have the ability to be alone.

And the star child who has the ability to be alone will not become more autistic, on the contrary, the ability to learn and live independently in the future will be stronger. Why do you say that?

Many of us always think that Star Kids needs to be "trained" all the time, so that we can integrate training content into life and ultimately improve their children's behavior. But let us think about it carefully. If people are always passively absorbing knowledge, which is like a template, engraved into children's behavior, then what will these "templated" children become in the end?

may become what parents call "normal". Because, at least, the child does not have strange talking or strange movements, let alone brushing teeth without squeezing toothpaste. This is because the parents have taken their children from greetings to behaviors in detail, what they say in the first sentence when they see them, and what kind of posture they put in. To brush your teeth, first take a toothbrush, squeeze the toothpaste, put it in your mouth, and finally wash and brush...

As a student, the average teacher will always stay after teaching a few formulas in class. Give the students some time to "digest" the knowledge they have learned, so that the students can better "absorb" the knowledge.

In other words, if the parents do not give the star child enough time alone,Only those knowledge and skills will be imparted to children non-stop, which will deprive children of their ability to think and absorb knowledge.

Children passively accept knowledge for a long time, unable to transform knowledge into their own, and will only become "template" in the end. For children who have lost the ability to be alone, their future life may only rely on the "formula" method. If there is a change in life, the child's "formula life" will also be broken.

In general, too little or too much aloneness can bring negative effects. Too long alone time is not conducive to the learning and growth of star children, and can cause depression or aggravate symptoms of autism. Too little time alone is not conducive to children's learning and growth, and may also cause serious psychological consequences.

Due to children's own experience, limited by their own experience,

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2 The understanding of being alone and the understanding of the inquiry activities you are engaged in is not enough, and parents need to give some intervention and guidance.

First of all, let children build confidence and dare to face solitude. Although being alone sometimes brings loneliness and loneliness, it is not terrible. It makes children realize that when he is immersed in it,You will find the endless charm of being alone.

Secondly, parents can guide children to carry out some reflection training, for example, can guide children to "diagnose" their emotions, attitudes, values and behaviors, reflect on problems encountered and how to solve them, etc. , Through reflective training, exercise reflective thinking, so that they can effectively improve their self-awareness and self-evaluation ability when alone.

Again, parents can start from hobbies to develop the ability to be alone with problems. For example, allowing children to do more activities such as reading, writing, jigsaw puzzles, listening to music, painting, dancing, playing chess, playing musical instruments, etc. will help children to get rid of loneliness when they are alone, and at the same time they can get a lot of fun when getting along with others.

Finally, parents can also develop children’s solitary ability by playing quiet games with children, relaxing training games, encouraging children to write solitary diaries, etc. should not let children use negatively Way to deal with being alone.

said at the end

benefit.Even children with autism should have their own time. Proper solitude training and cultivating children's solitude ability from an early age will be more beneficial for them to enter society and integrate into social life in the future.

Picture source: Photograph.com Genuine Gallery

Responsible editor: Mijianxing editor

Article layout: Mijian carotene

Literature reference:

. [1] Children being moderately alone: what, why and how[J]. Ideological and theoretical education,2013(06):28-32.