Many people say that today's children's personalities are reversed, girls are becoming more and more savage, and boys are becoming weaker and weaker. Regarding the boy's increasingly "mother" character, it once aroused heated discussions among netizens.
Exactly, what is causing this phenomenon? Let's explore it together.
To sum up, there are various reasons, mainly including the following four points:
1丨Pampering
With the growth of the post-80s and 90s, the concept of fertility has changed, and today it is basically a family with one or two children.
In addition, the rapid development of economy has led to the fact that most of the new generation of children have a good family environment.
Some of the daily chores can be done for the children. The final problem is that The boys reported by everyone are becoming more and more "mother", unmanly, unresponsible, and like to act like a spoiled child, and even a new word appeared - " Mommy Boy"!
The so-called "mother's baby boy" means that he has no opinion, he has to report everything to his mother, and ask his mother to make a decision. Most of these types are because the mother is very strong and does not allow the child to deviate from the trajectory that he has set since he was a child.
2丨I have more contact with female elders than male elders
Nowadays, mothers and grandmothers are the ones who bring babies. After school, there are mostly female teachers from kindergarten to elementary school. Invisibly, there are many less male companions, and children do not know what a boy should be. In this way, there is no reference and no role model. Over time, it will give people a feeling of being too feminine.
3丨The relatively weak growth environment have a certain influence.
And the current family and family education all hope that children will be obedient and grow up step by step, which means that many edges and corners of children will be smoothed out inadvertently.
4丨Autocratic education
Contrary to the previous one, the father’s education is too authoritarian, and This form of education that is too oppressive will also make boys become weaker and weaker. Punishment, completion is also stingy with rewards. Over time, the child will give up on himself and lose confidence.
In order to prevent boys from being "mother-like", how can we help them establish a perfect character mechanism?
Mother's Attitude
A well-known Japanese psychologist said:
- Mother's attitude is dominant, and the child will be a submissive personality, without his own opinions and ideas.
- The attitude of the mother is authoritarian, and the child will often be self-centered and stubborn and withdrawn.
- The mother's attitude is cold, the child will be cold and emotionally unstable.
- The attitude of the mother is democratic and the child will be kind, kind, straightforward and helpful.
Gender education
Establish a gender perspective for children from an early age. From the age of 3, it must be taken seriously. For example, let children realize that boys and girls are different. It is best to hand over bathing to fathers to help boys wash and help children Learn the difference between boys and girls through toys and hobbies, and subtly help children to recognize and understand gender.
Father's company
Father is indispensable in the growth of children, especially boys, why do you say that?
When children are 3 to 5 years old, they have mastered basic survival skills. At this time, they have entered a new stage. At this stage, fathers can better lead the baby to play, play, creativity, interest and problem-solving ability development.
Mom mostly prefer a soft way, while dad is simple and direct, which is more suitable for boys to get along and guide.
In addition, the father can take the baby to do some exciting outdoor activities. At this time, the masculinity of the father will convince the boy, increase the respect for the father invisibly, and set the example of the father to learn from.
Provide children with the opportunity and power to make decisions
We often say that the child is still young, he does not understand, and then help the child to do things well, not giving the child a chance for trial and error is really not conducive to the child's growth.
We must learn to appropriately provide children with opportunities and power to make decisions, so that children can learn to think and solve problems, and gain a sense of accomplishment from them.
Trial and error is okay, children can learn how to take responsibility and improve their ability to solve through these trials and errors, and children will be more confident and brave.
Do the housework within your ability
Don’t feel bad for the child, stop the child from doing the housework, while he is still young, can cultivate the child’s physical coordination and hands-on ability, otherwise the child will easily become lazy when he grows up.
Through daily trivial housework, children can consciously take responsibility, which is very helpful for the establishment of children's sense of responsibility.
Love is letting go, not letting go, and love is fulfilling, not depriving.
We should let fathers participate in children's growth instead of "hands-off", give children more space and time, help children to improve their character development, instead of letting them go and give children more decision-making opportunities and Power is one of the ways to keep children away from "girly".
