When people hear the word "being hated", they always feel panic and dissatisfied. Only when you are afraid of what you do wrong will you be disliked by others; only when you are dissatisfied with why you still feel disliked by trying your best to maintain so many good behaviors.
We are afraid of being hated by others and like to be followed by others .
When I was a child, I envied celebrities very much and felt that they had so many people paying attention to them every day, and the small things that happened to them were also discussed with relish. At that time, I thought celebrities were the protagonists in life.
In my life experience from childhood to adulthood, I was always told by my parents and elders: "Be kind to others, it is a blessing to suffer losses. When encountering problems, you should find problems from yourself and not get bored by others."
In the decades of life, more often, I care about the high and happy others, and rarely pay attention to my true self, because I think the "I" in the eyes of others is what I should be.
In the eyes of others, the "I" is the person who lives according to other people's ideas. That "I" must meet the expectations of my parents, the requirements of my partner, the identification of my leader, the affirmation of my colleagues, and the vision of strangers.
We dare not be ourselves, as if we will be out of place and cannot find our own direction. When we live in the eyes of others, we seem to be more "safe" and do not have to resist the malice of others.
But when we can't be the real selves, are we really happy?
We will never be able to satisfy other people's requirements and expectations. Ten efforts will only be taken as a matter of course by others. One time, if you fail to meet other people's needs, it will destroy the favor that you have finally accumulated in others.
We use a knife to portray ourselves bit by bit as others hope, which is painful, tired, and unhappy.
is time to change. Travel thousands of miles and read thousands of books, let us find the answers to change in the books.
" The Courage of Being Hate " is jointly written by Japanese philosopher Michiro Kishimi and freelance writer Shiken Koga. The book takes Adler's psychology as the main body, showing people the problems of suffering in life, which we can solve from the perspective of discovering our true self.
Adler is an Austrian psychologist in the early 20th century. He is the three major psychology giants that are tied with Fellowyd and Jung .
Adler put forward the idea that "the world is so simple that people can get happiness at any time."
This view feels incredible to me who was first reading this book. "Happiness". Isn't this a blessing to others during the holidays? If happiness is so easy to obtain, do we still need to live so hard? There are five major themes in the book "Our misfortune is whose fault", "All troubles come from interpersonal relationships", "Let the people who interfere in your life go to hell", "have the courage to be hated", and "serious people live in the present".
These themes are developed with a debate between a wise philosopher and a confused young man, whose debate has opened up a new world for us. This book is worth reading repeatedly to answer questions and answer questions for us who are confused about life.
Next, let’s start the reading journey with the questions in this book!
