People will have all kinds of troubles when they live in this world. Some people are deeply trapped in it and cannot extricate themselves, while some people choose to be calm.
is not the latter who is very enthusiastic and does not care about those things, but they know that even if they care about it, it is useless. It will only cause trouble for themselves and will not benefit the matter itself.
There was a question on Zhihu: "What is the root cause of a person's tiredness in life?" Some people say that the work is not going well, while others say that the relationship is not going well. In fact, in general, the four words are just disturbing mediocre people.
Most of the time, it is not caused by the troubles caused by things themselves, but by people's sensitivity.
Of course, there is a certain reason to plan ahead, but it does not mean that you are trapped in internal friction for this, but that you are thinking of solutions and solutions in advance. If you can't think of it, let it go and take every step in front of you, and it will be bright.
But some people are deeply trapped in it and cannot extricate themselves. They are anxious and worried all day long. It seems that as long as they maintain anxiety and worry, this will not happen, but in fact, it will not help, and will only waste their time and energy.
The most important thing about is that in this process, you will become more and more fragile and less able to deal with emergencies calmly and calmly.
Over time, you will feel that you lack control over everything around you and feel powerless.
obviously did nothing, as if the inner energy had been hollowed out. The reason why
causes such a result is precisely because we care too much about other people's views and reactions around us, and we often fall into internal friction for this.
Yang Jiang The old man once said this: "We once looked forward to the recognition of the outside world. Only in the end did we realize that the world is our own and has nothing to do with others."
Many times, we define the strong as understanding from the perspective of the people around us or the perspective of the bystander, but in fact, the real strength comes from the inner recognition of ourselves.
and people who can recognize themselves often know how to refuse internal friction.
As long as the inner energy is sufficient, you will not be easily defeated by setbacks. Being strong is just a matter of time.
A person becomes strong, often starting with rejecting internal friction, with few exceptions.
If you also want to refuse internal friction, you might as well start from these three points:
First: Put your own feelings and interests in front of others
The reason why people live very tiring is that they are educated to respect others and take the overall situation into consideration, but people have selfish intentions.
They think they have fulfilled others and taken into consideration the overall situation, and they will be grateful to each other, but in fact they do not.
When you don’t succeed in pleasing others, it’s hard to make yourself. You will be confused and unwilling to give up, always be resentful of others’ incomparableness and indignation towards God’s injustice.
But in fact, the ending has been decided from the moment of choice.
When a person chooses to ignore his own feelings and interests to help others, it means that he will inevitably suffer grievances. It is mostly a luxury to expect others to make up for you.
Because from the beginning, you were wishful thinking and one-sided behavior, and there was no agreement. Whether the other party was thinking about your goodness depends entirely on human nature.
But human nature is often selfish, and the other party will mostly think that it is because of its ability and charm that attracts you. How can you be grateful for your efforts?
So, don’t care so much about other people’s opinions. When encountering problems, you might as well put your feelings and interests in front of others and learn to please yourself.
When you know how to please yourself, you will find that you have fallen into a much less time.
and learn to please yourself, you will focus your main time and energy on your own growth and improvement. Not only will you be full of confidence, but your confidence will become more and more strong. It is only a matter of time before you become stronger.
2: Accept imperfection, accept regrets
There is a personality called perfectionist. He pursues perfection in everything, whether it is to be self-centered or others. If he cannot do perfection, he will be resentful of himself and fall into self-doubt and self-denial. If they do not meet their requirements, they will chatter about loving others and feel hatred. People like
often get very tired.
I think I am pursuing perfection, but I am actually trapped in internal friction.
The result is naturally imperfect, and it will make you farther and farther away from perfection because the energy is getting less and less.
The reason why some people fall into internal friction is that they refuse to accept imperfections and cannot accept regrets.
So when faced with the flaws and shortcomings in life, I always feel resentful and difficult to let go. I always feel regretful and regret not doing it well at the beginning and not doing it.
However, such behavior will not change the reality, but instead deny yourself in disguise, allowing yourself to more confirm that you have done something bad or cannot do it well. People like
cannot become stronger, they will only fail again and again, becoming weaker and weaker.
So, if we want to become stronger, we must accept imperfection and accept regrets.
Only in this way can we go into battle lightly, dare to let go of our hands and fight, and we will be able to succeed.
3: Think more about the positive side of everything
There is a kind of person in this world called "pessimist", that is, everything will think of negative and pessimistic side, and will associate many possible situations, and will worry about it.
They think they understand human nature, see society clearly, and stand at the top of the food chain.
In their opinion, positive and optimistic people are too naive.
But in fact, a real strong man is a person who dares to muster up the courage to face the world after seeing the reality of society and understanding the weaknesses of human nature, rather than thinking that he has seen the reality clearly, but in fact he is a coward mentality that is escaping.
Everything has two sides. One thing has a negative and pessimistic opposite, and it must also have a positive and optimistic side.
Whether you can only see the negative and pessimistic side or only see the positive and optimistic side, you cannot be called a strong man, and there is an escapist side.
. The real strong are good at being in difficulties and thinking more about the positive and optimistic side in the face of setbacks so that you can maintain confidence and overcome difficulties.
And those who only have negative and pessimistic sides in their eyes often fail to recover.
Summary:
If a person always considers others, he will inevitably waste his time and energy and will eventually be his family for others. No matter how much he gives, he will just depend on others and survive;
If a person cannot accept imperfection and regret, it seems that he has high requirements for himself and makes himself better, but in fact it is actually a harsh criticism of himself, embarrassing and denying himself;
Everything is pessimistic and negative, seemingly familiar with human nature, but in fact it is an escape from reality. How can a person who dares not face reality be strong?
And truly powerful people know how to reject this matter, with few exceptions.
I hope you understand this principle and hope you will be such a strong man.
