Honesty is a virtue, it is originally meant to be honest, not to lie or to do falsehood.
But in this intriguing society, such honesty often seems out of place.
When everyone around them is full of heart and claims to be smart, honesty becomes stupid and stupid.
At work, honest people are often bullied by shrewd people;
In love, honest people are either disliked or exploited.
It seems that honest people have no day to stand out.
But in fact, not all honest people can only live in the fate of being bullied by others for the rest of their lives.
Many people think that the reason why others dare to "bully" them is because they have no money.
They feel that as long as they have money, others will not dare to bully themselves.
In fact, human nature will only become more ugly when facing rich honest people. It is just to pretend to be a weak person and morally kidnap to honest people. In fact, it is to bully the other party honest.
So, if honest people don’t want to be bullied, they must change their honest personality.
In the eyes of many people, being honest is born with a personality, but in fact it is mostly related to acquired influence. In fact, the education of parents is far-reaching.
The honest and careless people are often the same with their parents.
His ability to deal with people and values are all influenced by his parents.
When a person is used to doing things in this way, he will have an illusion that he is such a person and does not realize that he can change it.
combined with the common manifestation of honest people being bullied, we can find that those honest people who others cannot bully are not rich, but have done these four points:
1
When faced with conflict, don’t be afraid, learn to downplay conflict, use stillness to control people, and convince people with reason
Honest people have a personality trait, which is to be afraid of trouble, especially when facing conflict.
They are afraid that things will make a big difference, and they are worried that the other party will become more and more aggressive, and feel that they can't handle it, so they often choose to swallow their anger and calm things down. However, they don't know that the more you do this, the more arrogant the other party will be.
Because at this time the other party has decided that you are easy to bully.
It is right to choose to calm down others in the face of conflict, but you should not be afraid of trouble and admit defeat to unreasonable people.
Shouldn’t you argue with the other party? Of course not.
There is a word called: "Balt with stillness".
The reason why the other party is arrogant is that they think that you can scare you as long as you are not panicked, not afraid, and not be emotionally driven by the other party's words and actions, but instead argue calmly and refute the other party with a reasonable and well-founded manner. Then the other party will only think that you are unfathomable and difficult to bully, and naturally they will not dare to be arrogant to you.
As long as you take advantage of others' malicious intentions, you don't need to be afraid.
Otherwise, your fear of trouble will only encourage the other party to become more arrogant and bully you.
Because you are soft-hearted and you are getting worse.
2
Reject moral kidnapping, accepting it must be rejected, and being said to have no courage
Honest people often have a heavier moral burden.
It is a good thing for a person to have moral standards, but you need to be clear that this is your constraint on yourself, not your constraint on you, nor is it the reason why others use this to morally kidnap you. Others have no right to do so.
Once an honest person is morally kidnapped by others, he will unconsciously put himself in a high position. Because he does not want to be denied, he will choose to obey and obey the other party's requests, and will do it even if it is unreasonable.
They think they have maintained themselves, but in fact they are used by others.
In fact, being denied by others is a small thing in life and the norm in life.
After all, everyone has their own values, and people will look at other people and things from their own perspectives and judge others according to their own standards, and naturally there will be situations where others are denied.
And what we can do is to be ourselves well, rather than to make ourselves meet other people's standards based on other people's opinions.
This will only make you live a tool person, and will only make the other party ignore and look down on you even more.
So if a honest and honest person does not want to be bullied, he must dare to accept being denied and have the courage to face being said not.
3
When things happen, learn to consider the overall situation and overall interests and self-interest, rather than the feelings of others and their views of you
Honest people have a very bad characteristic, that is, the situation is small, and they always regard the feelings of others and their views of themselves in their hearts. Apart from that, they cannot see anything else.
. People with small patterns are often easily trapped in internal friction because they always focus on details, small things, a sentence from the other party, and an action can affect your emotions and make you think for a long time.
To put it nicely, it is sensitive, but in fact it is just a small mind and has no pattern.
If it is used by someone with a heart, it will be completely controlled by the other party. No matter what the other party says, you will believe it and accept it no matter what the other party does. In the end, the other party is just using you.
In fact, whenever you learn to consider the overall situation, overall interests and self-interest in encountering things, rather than putting others' feelings and opinions of you first, you will not be so easily exploited and bullied by others.
Some honest people will say that this is not good. Indeed, we are taught to learn to consider other people’s feelings, but it does not make us put other people’s feelings and opinions first.
Whether it is an emotional relationship or a working relationship, you need to learn to please yourself and follow the principles of interests.
If you put the other person’s feelings and opinions of you first, it will become the other person’s bargaining chip.
Therefore, if a honest person who is not mean and does not want to be bullied, When encountering , you must learn to consider the overall situation and overall interests and self-interest.
4
can suffer a small loss, but a big loss cannot do it. There must be principles and bottom line
There is a saying that: "Suffering losses is a blessing", which means that you will go further by honestly taking every step under your feet, and you will go further. Such losses must be eaten, otherwise even if you rely on shortcuts to achieve temporary success, you will not go far.
But in real life, some people think that suffering losses are doing whatever others ask you to do. Even if the other party takes advantage of you, you should accept it with pleasure, because suffering losses are a blessing. Such behaviors as
are obviously a kind of intentional people to take advantage of the mentality of being honest and taking advantage of the mentality of taking losses.
But some losses are unbearable, such as things that violate the principles and bottom lines.
Once you accept it, the other party will become more and more eager to you, thinking that you have a lower bottom line, and thinking that you are a person without principles.
You feel that you are out of kindness and would rather suffer losses to help the other party, but in the other party's view, your behavior is a kind of cater to him and please him, and his majesty has captured your honesty, and he can consume and utilize your honesty at will.
You can eat small losses that are irrelevant in life, but remember that it is not what you should eat, but you think that eating will not cause you to suffer a lot of losses, and you can also avoid many unnecessary troubles. That's all. As for big losses, you must stick to your principles and bottom line and say no.
In this way, the other party will know that you are not easy to bully and will not dare to be more arrogant towards you easily.
is to control it with static, not to escape, but to avoid head-on conflicts and convince people with reason;
accepting is denied, being said no, not to identify with the other party, but to see human nature clearly;
0 slight losses are not tolerant, but to be big in structure and refuse to be troubled by trivial matters.
Adhering to principles and bottom lines is to maintain one's honest character.
Teachers themselves are not wrong. Faced with the misunderstanding and prejudice of teachers in society, what we need to do is not to remove the honest label and make ourselves hypocritical, but to do the above four points to protect our honest character.
Just as your kindness must be sharp so that it will not be exploited,
Your honesty must also be protected by these four points above so that it will not be bullied by others.
