Author丨Tongyan
To put it bluntly, it is difficult to mess with three words. It is actually a relative concept and does not have an absolute standard.
specifically refers to: a person takes different attitudes when facing different situations, and some consequences of corresponding attitudes.
So, what kind of people are you trying to mess with?
In layman's terms, people who are easy to mess with generally have the following three characteristics: is easy to talk to, always maintain a good mood, and are afraid of rejecting others.
I believe that every item is not required to describe in detail at all, and most people can understand it at a glance. There should be many people who suffer from these three troubles in their lives, which can bring many troubles to themselves in actual interactions.
For example, I have a classmate who is very enthusiastic, treats everyone well, and is very considerate of outsiders at a glance, and often helps others.
But her performance did not win her good friendship, but often attracted people with bad intentions: they would use her kindness with peace of mind to seek some benefits for themselves, from picking up a courier, big enough to ask her to help with some work, borrowing money, etc.
. As long as she agrees, she will basically be easily cheated next, but in the end she is thankless.
In fact, if you do not have strong strength to support your positive emotions, in the eyes of others, it will become a good sign for you to be controlled, a "soft persimmon", and then someone will continue to test where your bottom line is.
To put it bluntly, the more difficult it is for you to mess with, the more respected you are. There is a reason - This is the most direct manifestation of human nature bullying the weak and fearing the strong.
Never overestimate a person's malice. Some people ask for you and want your help. They may speak very well, but turn around and change completely. Or when you have the idea of rejection, the other party's sudden change of face may cause you to feel some retreating thoughts in your mind.
Yes, sometimes you find that you are the one who is rational, but when faced with the other party's strong behavior, you actually show a sense of guilt. There are not too many similar examples in life.
Before, a girl told me that she helped her colleague with a PPT. Originally, she was just the one who helped her. She did it on the weekend and she didn't have a break. Later, her colleague said that there was a wrong data in her PPT, which made her criticized by her boss and blamed all the mistakes on her.
She was very sad at the time. First, she thought she had spared time to help, but she got such a result. Second, she felt that she had lost a friend because of this.
I corrected her wrong view at the time: This is not a friend.
Yes, they are not any friend relationship at all at the beginning. Good friends will not only ask the other party how to do it in a relationship, nor will they take advantage of the other party, but will also repay the other party with corresponding good returns.
And then, do you treat others as friends, and do others regard you as friends? Don't be self-indulgent. It’s better not to want such a so-called friend.
Her troubles were completely found by her.
I don’t need to say anything about her, I knew that she must be a good person to talk to, otherwise she wouldn’t have helped her not only did not get thanks, but the other party dared to find her mistakes with confidence.
The relationship between people is most likely to be spoiled.
If you are too nice to a person, or too weak to be tempered, then your goodness will easily become a weapon to hurt yourself.
Therefore, you must have your own edge. If you are not easy to mess with, you must dare to express your true thoughts, you must express your personal demands, you must resolutely fight back when others step on your principles, and you must protect your own interests without any worries.
Don't be afraid to offend others. To put it realistic, you can afford to offend most people in life.
or even do you find that it is not only among friends, but also strangers. If you show your easy-to-talk side, then you should pay attention to protecting your own interests next. I really feel this point in
.
Before, I was also the kind of person who was embarrassed to refuse others. Even when I went out, others sent flyers or asked me to help fill out questionnaires, etc. If the other party had a good attitude or kept looking for me, I would feel soft and hesitant. When the other party saw me like this, he would immediately increase his emotional output on his surface, such as being more enthusiastic and continuing to persuade him. I always compromised.
Once, I was very surprised. I went out with my college roommate. There were people who sent flyers along the way. Why were they basically looking for me and not looking for the roommate next to me?
I quickly discovered the reason: She doesn't look easy to mess with.
That’s right, my roommate always wears exquisite makeup when he goes out, and is serious, and looks like he is not close to someone. I suddenly remembered that when I first met her, I actually felt that this girl was not easy to get along with. Later, I became a roommate and I found that she was actually very good in character and everyone got along well.
But most people in life measure a person, initially, by their appearance, how strong or not a person's overall aura will subconsciously form a preliminary judgment in the hearts of the opposite person, and will adjust their attitude based on this.
There is another kind of difficult thing to mess with, which is what you convey through your words and deeds, about your personality.
I am a kind of person who is familiar with me. No matter who I chat with, I always smile. Moreover, when others talk to me with a friendly attitude, I feel embarrassed to refuse, which is a bit of a concern for all kinds of salespeople.
Later, I also learned to be cold-faced when facing any sales situation, refuse without dragging on the mud, show no hesitation, and be influenced by his various boastful boasts. How did I change
?
is heartbreaking, so of course I was cheated once and lost almost a thousand yuan. From then on, I completely changed - I used to understand how to do it, but I still couldn't refuse in my actions.
I can’t teach people the principles many times, but if you teach people things, it’s enough to teach them once.
I hope you can be more principled in life. The more firm you can be yourself, the more you will find that no matter who you are in, you will be respected enough.
-END-
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