1
I was born in a small county town in Shanxi, a small society with no other industrial chain except coal, almost purely agricultural.
During his youth, he tried his best to get out of this county town and made all kinds of efforts, but all ended in failure. He had no choice but to marry and have children, and then lived in a small county town for more than 20 years, until now, he works safely within the system.
More than a year later, when I recalled the experience in my youth, it was still a heart-warming pain. What exactly made it so difficult to go out?
Later, I tried to make the same efforts on my children, and gradually I was able to analyze the whole thing carefully, sort out some clues, understand some key points, and have some thoughts.
must admit that working within the system is to serve the society, and my birthplace is a county town dominated by agriculture. In terms of industry, there is no other industry except traditional coal. Therefore, working within the system is to serve the agricultural industry chain, so that my family has no awareness and concept of industrialization in their bones, has not been baptized by industrialization, and has not the awareness of risk taking on market competition. They always seek stability in everything and seek stability.
Therefore, it is divided into external industrial society, has faults, and is difficult to integrate into. They never agreed with me for my decision to go out, and even talked about support.
My grandfather is a farmer who can read, read and keep accounts. Just reading and reading and reading far surpass his peers. This should be the most "revolutionary" spark in him. Afterwards, my father also studied and was very good. He became the first college student in a small mountain village and even in the township. After graduation, he got a national job and became a cadre.
More than a year later, I thought that it was because of my grandfather’s reading and reading that my father was very good at studying. If there was no such inheritance, maybe there would be no father who would have jumped out of the farming school.
1 People in the village who are the same age as their father still hold bowls every day and chat about parents in the sun regularly. When they are in their sixties or seventies, this has become the whole of their lives. Some of them have never even walked out of that small mountain village in their lives.
After my father brought his national job, he traveled around townships every day. Later, although he became a section-level cadre in the county, he still lived in the agricultural industrial chain. He had no experience or experience in the industrial chain.
My father is very lucky, but my uncles and aunts are not that lucky. My uncle went to high school until he was in high school, but unfortunately he didn't get into college in the first year. Later, he repeated the school for another year, but he was still a few points short of his score and could not be a soldier. Since then, my uncle has lived in the countryside all his life and has never come out.
Aunt is even worse. She didn't even finish elementary school and lived most of her life in the small mountain village where she was born. When she was young, she talked to me in a nagging way, and it was all because she was illiterate and missed a good cause. At that time, she fell in love with a young man in the village. The young man later went to Yunnan to work as a soldier. After retiring from the army, he stayed in Kunming. Someone wrote her a letter and wanted to ask her to go to Kunming. However, she was illiterate and took the letter she wrote to her, but she couldn't understand her words. She was embarrassed to let others read it to her, which was a waste of time to delay her marriage.
In fact, everyone has had opportunities in their life, but is just a coincidence and , or they didn't feel that when the opportunity slipped away, we regretted it again. If we miss one opportunity after another, we will live as we are now.
Reading is the best way to break out of the farming school, no one. The lives of his father and his brothers and sisters are proof of this.
But it is strange that the only father in this family was studying, and the uncle and aunt were not sure whether it was because of the family difficulties at that time, or whether they were not good at studying, they did not realize their willingness to break out of the farming family.
My mother was a junior high school student. She had only passed the exam for such a junior high school student at that time. However, before she graduated from junior high school, the "ten years" Cultural Revolution began, and her mother also returned to the small mountain village where she was born with the tide of the times.
After returning to the small mountain village, my mother worked as an agent teacher in the village. At that time, there was a job recruitment quota. As long as I had junior high school education, I could recruit workers. My mother went there with all my heart, but in the end she was squeezed out. After that, my mother married my father and couldn't even be an agent teacher. She never returned to class.
I didn’t read the book anymore. Becoming an eternal regret for my mother, it is a threshold that she can never cross in her heart. She often said that if she had the chance to take the exam, she would have been able to jump out of the farming school. If it was just if, fate would never give her such a chance.
When the tide of fate comes, most people don’t know where to go next. Just like her mother, she doesn’t know that there is actually a better way out and a better choice. Her parents don’t have this awareness. She works day by day in the small mountain village where she is born, and she doesn’t know that too many changes have actually happened outside.
Her junior high school classmates later, some of them took the exam again through various efforts and went to work, some tried every means to become soldiers, and also walked out of the small mountain village as big as a palm. But the mother didn't know this information at that time. She couldn't grasp the rope of fate and let herself continue to move forward. Instead, she returned to the countryside, began to have children, repeated the lives of generations, and even became a housewife for life.
Life is divided into luck and misfortune. The greatest luck of my brothers and sisters is that their parents are scholars. My parents understand the importance of reading to life and understand that reading can change life. No matter what difficulties they encounter, they continue to encourage their children to read.
Because of my parents, my sister and I went well in school. Before going to school, we had learned to read and learn to read, and until we went to high school, it went smoothly.
It's very strange. My younger brother just doesn't study. No matter how his parents punish or beat and scold him, he just thinks that he doesn't study. He has been naughty since he was a child and doesn't even want to enter the classroom.
A younger brother who has grown up can only look for some heavy and simple physical work, be a taxi driver or security guard. A person who has not read many books has really hard life in this society. Although at that time, my father went through a lot of trouble, first letting my younger brother join a pharmaceutical company, and then to a coal mine. He worked in a pharmaceutical company for a few years and then stopped working. He did not stay in the coal mine for too long. His father was unable to change the fate of his second son!
A person does not want to make changes, and no matter how much effort an outsider is, it will be useless.
2
When I first entered high school, I was a little uncomfortable. After all, I was the best student in the county. After taking the exam twice in a row, I was not at the top of my list. I have always been arrogant and couldn't stand it in my face. I didn't want to stay in this class anymore. I was so angry that I transferred to the liberal arts class.
Only after many years did I regret it, why bother like this? Grades are like ups and downs. If one or two bad grades are actually normal, it cannot be normal anymore. Why bother to act voluntarily? But I couldn't think of this at the time. After entering society, I realized that the path of science students is much longer than that of liberal arts students. If you can study science, try to study science.
Although I studied liberal arts, I successfully got into a liberal arts major at Jiang University . Later, I gradually realized that it was my lifelong luck to be able to go to Jiaotong University and meet some like-minded classmates. I have learned a lot of extremely precious things from outstanding classmates and seniors. The life of college has given me the courage and strength to challenge life in my life, and
illuminates the way forward for my life.
Jiaojiao University graduates are the railway bureau and the engineering bureau, and the proportion of counterpart employment is quite high every year. As soon as I graduated, most of my classmates went to the Engineering Bureau and the Railway Bureau.
However, that year, I became an isolated case. I, who had excellent grades, did not sign a suitable recipient. As a last resort, I returned to the small county town where I gave birth to me and raised me. Until today, I can't tell what kind of fate and the secret of the destiny are: in terms of grades, I rank high; in terms of appearance, although I am not outstanding, I am tall and elegant; at that time, a examiner repeatedly stated that I said something, but he couldn't understand, and obviously disliked my Mandarin bad! Alas, there are too many unexpected things in life!
Although I was reluctant in my bones, I could only go back to my hometown temporarily. After four years of experience, I returned to the small county town where I was born. After that, it has been repeated several times, but it has never come out again.
Next, I first found a good job in Tianjin. Although I only had 200 yuan left in my pocket at that time, I was still satisfied.
However, after less than a day of work, my mother yelled hysterically on the phone, insisting on asking me to go back. If she didn't go back, she would come to Tianjin to find me. She also shouted that her heart was frightened and needed to drink cinnabar, all kinds of things.
What's even more terrible is that she didn't hesitate to ask for help from her brother who had not had a close relationship for many years. After circling with the eighteenth floor, she found a classmate who was studying in Tianjin. She called me from other people's parents, and then asked her classmates to persuade me to go back. In short, she used all the resources she could use and brought me back to that small county town in Shanxi. This may be the most accomplished thing my mother has done in her life, and she tied me firmly with her.
When, after graduating from junior high school, my mother returned to Xiaoshan Village, and after thirty years, she did the same thing and successfully brought her eldest son who had been to Jiaotong University back to her side in the small county town. What a fate is fantasy !
Until today, I can’t figure out why my mother must do this?
Maybe in the influence and consciousness of her inherent agricultural society, she believed that the outside world was all dangerous and could only be safe if she stayed under her protection; maybe, because the second son did not study and did not have a serious business, she felt that there was no place for the future, and tried hard to hold me hard and pulled the rope tightly; maybe, there were reasons that she really couldn't understand.
When I thought about this period, I was always surprised where my father was, and how he was missing during that period of time, what was his father doing, and in the most critical moment of choosing a career in my life, why did his father be missing, neither companionship nor advice, why did my mother make such a fierce fuss, why did my mother become a family? It was really "a woman in charge, the walls collapsed!"
Later, through my own efforts, I found a job in the city, but in the end, due to my mother's many obstacles, there was no good result. Finally, without exception, I returned to that small county town and worked in the system. At this time, my parents seemed to breathe a sigh of relief, and I finally lived as they imagined.
More than a year later, my college classmate listened to my story and said with emotion: "The books you have read for so many years have been fed to the dog. " I was speechless, speechless because I could not dominate my own destiny.
I am a person who can't see the road ahead clearly. I have always been like this, and I really feed the dogs the books I read.
Since then, I have been working in the system of a small county town for more than 20 years, completing the process of marrying and having children step by step, raising two boys to grow up. Until now, the eldest brother went to college and the second brother was preparing to go to elementary school. I was like a donkey pulling a mill, repeating the immortal life day by day. The inner depression is suffocating. Only when the night is late, I sit at the table alone, staying alone for a long time, thinking hard about the life I want to continue, and then endure the days.
The tormented days are not the life I want. No matter how many time has passed, the sense of alienation still makes people feel painful. Just like being forced to manage other people's lives, the soul can never find a place to stay. I long to be able to integrate into the chain of industry and live a prosperous life, but reality has so many shackles. When it is late at night, I try my best to type too many words every day, pursuing the slightest freedom left in my heart.
Life is really a torment! What I can imagine is that because my mother has lived in a small mountain village and small county town in a closed agricultural society for most of her life and has not seen the booming industrial society outside, she has a natural fear and rejection for the outside society. She has successfully transferred her fear and rejection to me who has no choice ability, and let me repeat it day by day according to her path. From this, we can see how important it is to see the real world outside.
After my sister graduated from college, she also returned to work in a small county town. When she came back to work, it was also the result of her mother's persistence. I don't know how my mother has so many broken logic:
What kind of daughter is getting bigger and bigger when she reads, she can't find a good partner, and delays getting married, and so on. My mother was not like this before. Why did she undergo so many resentful changes in her mother's thoughts after she was over fifty years old? What makes people even more humorous is that during that period, my father was already sick due to years of hard work, and his family affairs were generally not known. At this moment, my mother took over as a family. How terrible it is to be a home without a male owner.
My sister once said leisurely: Actually, when she was in her junior year, the counselor kept doing her job, hoping that she would be in charge of her postgraduate education and go to Guizhou University to study for her postgraduate education, but in the end she did not resist her mother's opinion. My sister also returned to the small county town and without exception, she worked in the system.
My sister and I are both short-sighted and unwilling to let go, and we embarked on another completely different path of life.
Parents’ pattern and insight determine how far their children can go, especially at some key moments in life. It is best to provide constructive suggestions. However, if you cannot, then support your children silently and be their strong backing. The whole family will work together and eventually find a way out. The worst situation in the world is that parents cannot provide advice and interfere with their children, which is particularly hateful. I am the victim of this bad situation and I will never be able to make a comeback in my life. The great opportunities in life just flow away in vain.
3
For many years, our family has been working hard, has no bad habits, is extremely self-disciplined, and has a high enthusiasm for life. In order to learn a skill well, you can persist for many years, and you will not waste your precious time on messy things. Everyone is constantly improving themselves.
Work hard is our talent, but opportunities are always unsatisfactory.
Get up at 4:30 every day, get up and study. This habit has been many years. Occasionally, if you get up once late, you will feel sad and feel that this day is about to be spent in vain.
However, in your career, it does not bring much improvement. It can be seen that to become a talent, just working hard is not enough.
Life is not confused, small county towns are full of relationships and backgrounds everywhere, and it is difficult for ordinary people to have a chance to make a name for themselves. I used the best life to verify the difficulties and unsatisfactory life of ordinary people in small counties.
Don’t find a job in a small county town if you have no choice. "The mother is weak and goes to businessmen, and the father is strong and becomes a minister. The clan hopes to stay in his hometown, and the family is poor and goes to a foreign land." These life experiences are really to the point.
Sometimes I think of why people who work so hard won’t improve their careers? Every personnel adjustment has the most suitable candidate. It is always impossible for me to take the turn. There should be a chance of falling from heaven, but the reality is that there is no one in ten thousand.
Life is really cruel, it is much harder than you think.
In order to learn English well, I spent six years of my life, and finally mastered English proficiently; in order to educate my children well, I read almost all the books on education I could buy on the market, and then found the path I thought was the most correct. When I encountered various confusions in educating my children, I had my own firm judgment.
In order to learn swimming well, I practiced for many years until I grew up from a layman to a swimming competition champion in a small county town.
With such hard work, I can’t make any improvement in my career. My destiny is really hard to figure out. Alas, sigh!
1 As time goes by, after going through the hardships of life and being hit by fate, I gradually learn to judge, learn to see through people's hearts, listen to the voices of my heart, refer to other people's opinions, but make accurate decisions.
If I face the problems like that when I was young again, I will definitely make the most suitable judgment, unlike the young man back then, who let his family and others be controlled by others, today, no one can easily influence my judgment. This is a accumulation of life and a accumulation of destiny.
See that things no longer stay on the surface, no longer pursue the excitement and noise, but only meet the essence and essence, and penetrate the hearts of the people. This is the vision after being tempered by life.
Although the career has not improved much, it is gratifying that the children are all excellent in their studies. They have inherited the good habit of loving reading in their family, and reading is natural.
In order to let them see the real world, I took my children through most cities in the country during the holidays, giving them a different vision.
When they reach the turning point of their destiny, I will give reasonable suggestions based on my personal affection accidents, and firmly respect their opinions, so that they will not commit the "pits" I have stepped on again. When filling out the application form, it is recommended that they fill in all universities outside the province, and the postgraduate entrance examination is still outside the province. They are determined not to come back, and even have deep concerns in their hearts. They don’t want them to go back during the winter and summer vacations. They don’t want them to go back as much as possible and see the vast world outside. Never return to a small county town as big as a palm, which will restrict their lives.
Big cities always have more opportunities. For a person who is willing to endure hardships and work hard, his life should not be too bad, unlike in a small county town, even if he has unique skills, he still has no platform to display. In a small county town, people who know English, write, and have multiple skills can only struggle within the system. The kind of depression makes you unable to breathe.
I always think, how could this be the fate of my brothers and sisters? Who is it, and what factors are hindering our pace? Such hard work and such persistence, but still living a very mediocre life.
What I can think of is environment . The environment in a small county is extremely depressing. No matter how great the ability is, you may not be able to perform it. In the whole life, a person must find an environment that suits his or her own survival. Don’t struggle hopelessly in the underlying environment and waste your precious life.
In this world, it is the most boring thing to reason with others. Some people are not suitable for reasoning at all. It is the same old saying that what people understand is the "nan wall" rather than the "reason". Most people don’t listen to the truth. Even if they don’t refute you, it doesn’t mean they listen to you. Afterwards, they will still do their own things. You can truly understand others' words and recognize the truth, but very few people practice it, and such people will never spend a mediocre life at the bottom.
My aunt, uncle, and aunt's generation are mostly married and have children. Some still live in the small mountain village where their father and mother were born, and some have entered small county towns to engage in some service industries or heavy physical practices. Of course, compared with the previous generation, they generally have more culture and knowledge, and they also attach great importance to educating their children, but they are often not very good. As their children grow up, they still repeat the same life of their parents. Few people who go out and few people who live a very nourishing life are all working hard.
Education usually has some nodes that must be followed, such as: don’t miss the opportunity; catch early and small; teach yourself more than words; education requires investment, not only money, but also time and energy; learning language must be influenced by others, etc. Only by truly practicing these basic educational knowledge can one talk about a person’s success.
Agricultural small county towns generally limit everyone's vision, making them not want to go out, and never even think about going out, but making a living in a small county town.
I am a classmate from Shaoyang, Hunan, now working in the Guangzhou high-speed rail. He said that most young people there will go to Guangzhou and Shenzhen to find jobs. This is the atmosphere and the environment. Different environments bring people different choices, and different regions bring people different concepts. Only those who have seen the process of modern industrialization can go out of the countryside and integrate into the life of modern cities. Even if they become assembly line factories, it is much better than holding food in the farmland.
Judging from the current development status of relatives' families, in fact, no matter who they marry or who they marry, the difference between children will not be too big. Their marriageable partner is still people of this class, and there is not much difference. Their knowledge and pattern are generally at the same level, not particularly good or particularly bad.
Life is generally difficult, not always so good. You either drive your boss and make some hard money; you either work in the service industry and live by looking at others' eyes; you either go to a coal mine and make a living by putting your energy into your life.
Among relatives, my sister and I are very outstanding and have a good job within the system.
In this small county town, in everyone's mind, except for coal mines, there is no other shadow of the industrial chain. It is the best job to enter the system.
I have gradually been able to understand my parents’ intentions back then. They let their children read books, but they have a job within the system, which is the best arrangement they recognize.
Life in each family continues, but because of the different parents' pattern and foresight, the children chose the most suitable way out in their eyes and returned to work in a small county town 100%.
Ordinary life seems to be the same, but when encountering those turning points in life, different insights from each school and completely different lives formed therefrom are revealed.
From now on, when looking back, the children of relatives generally went to college in the context of expanding enrollment, but they were usually second or third-tier universities in the province, and their families also had low requirements for them: after going to college, their children did not want to study, or could not continue, so they naturally returned to small counties and continued to look for jobs. They often went to coal mines or some small businesses. Those who developed better would take the exam for the old editor, and then repeated the unchanging days. I wonder if they wanted to go out and make a breakthrough, or maybe they had no such idea at all.
My children and nephew are continuing to study, and they are still studying for a doctorate after finishing their studies. I hope that their wish to go out can be realized in them. The second child is still young and is preparing to go to elementary school. However, he can speak fluent English. He is almost fortunate. I have deeply understood that it is very difficult to go out with the efforts of a person. Only the relay of two or three generations can be achieved. Going out not only requires intellectual support, but also real economic support. The two cannot be ambiguous at all.
Children in small counties, in terms of intelligence, the gap between them and children in big cities is not too big. The biggest gap is in English.
Children from big cities have been influenced by them since childhood and have a good sense of language since childhood. Children in small counties only start to get involved in English when they go to elementary school. As a language, they missed the natural advantages of language since childhood. This gap is difficult to make up for the day after tomorrow. Not all gaps can be smoothed out, some gaps are eternal gaps, and no matter how much effort is put in place, they may not reach that level.
Because of the recognition of the gap, since childhood, I have treated English as my mother tongue as my mother tongue. My family should also speak English in daily life to cultivate a strong sense of language for children.
Aware of the gap, and there are possibilities and opportunities to make up for it. It's just to invest more time. Can't the efforts of a generation make up for it? I don’t believe in this evil, and I can finally achieve my goal after spending more time.
In this world, as long as you work hard and devote time, and after a long period of accumulation, there will be good results.
In one field, in one direction, slowly exert force, find the right rhythm, and continue to learn, there will be some results in the end. However, smart people spend less time, and ordinary people spend more time. If they don’t have a year, they will only take 3-5 years. If they don’t have a 3-5 year period, they will only take 8-9 years, and there will be good results in the end.
Human beings are not animals. As long as they work hard, human genes and human genetic code will eventually undergo some positive changes and will eventually develop positively.
Life is so long, but there are still some truths that must be adhered to, such as, if you accumulate slowly, you can eventually become a talent.
Believe me, it is true.
