Recently, the video of Bilibili "Three days after returning to the village, my second uncle cured my mental internal friction" became popular. From then on, the term "mental internal friction" began to become well-known to us. In fact, internal friction is mostly because we are too sensitive.
When we were young, our parents said "Why are you so stupid!" "You are too slow to remember", we may remember it until now. Harvard University visiting researcher Tezo Kato, in his book "Emotional Insensitivity", believes that this is caused by "emotional sensitivity". We should cultivate our emotional insensitivity to make ourselves happier and happier. Therefore, he gave us a set of four emotional algorithms in the book, which can help us quickly "desensitize". After reading this book, we can keep everything from heart.
The author Tesan Kato is a well-known Japanese psychologist.
Let’s take a look at how his emotions four-step operation enhances our insensitivity!
1 Addition: Think about the benefits.
Xiao Wang always feels that he is "bullied" in the company. He always feels that his leader is targeting him again and deliberately gives him a lot of work, which makes him too busy. He complained in his heart that he had suffered "bullying".
. In fact, other employees are not easy, and their work tasks are actually similar. But colleagues think "This is really a rare experience!"
The problem lies in the fact that there are great individual differences in their perception of "bullying".
So when you encounter this situation, people with emotional sensitivity may wish to think about the problem from a different perspective and just treat it as training yourself more. In addition, forget the unhappiness as soon as possible and make time for happiness.
2 Subtraction: Avoid emotional internal consumption
"No matter how many times I change jobs, I can't get along with my boss," Xiao Li said troubledly.
The author found that Xiao Li obeyed his father since childhood and had never experienced a rebellious period. But as he grew up, he developed a strong hostility towards his father without realizing it.
Now, this secret hostility turned its fingers and pointed at his bosses.
He brought problems that he could not solve when he was a child into the workplace, causing trouble now.
So the author suggests that we should not take the correct numbers, do not copy relationships that have not been handled before, and adjust the working status.
3 Multiplication: Let inner confidence grow exponentially
Social news often reports that some parents will collapse when tutoring their children in their studies, and some may even get angry to the point of sending them to the emergency department. In fact, sometimes parents do not do well themselves. They are angry with themselves, but they will take their anger on their children.
In fact, if we can be satisfied with ourselves, we can get rid of our anger.
Satisfied with yourself is a positive attitude!
4. Do division: Eliminate negative information
Psychologist Flom once said "behind humility is arrogance." Some people do not show off their talents directly, but act reserved, secretly longing for being praised, and cannot listen to any criticism.
In fact, they handed over the evaluation power to others. They don’t have an inner “safe haven”
so they should remove the disguise, eliminate negative arrogance and vanity, be the real self, and give themselves a “safe haven” to protect themselves!
So it suddenly feels like our coat, preventing the pain and injuries of life. Let’s follow this book to learn how to cultivate insensitivity! #Muxi Reading Club# ##Muxi Reading Club##
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