Why do you know that negative emotions are a kind of negative energy but still cannot get out and keep immersing in this emotion? Below, we have a psychological discussion on the causes and solutions to negative emotions.
After the emotional theme was launched, I received such messages and private messages about emotions from many sugar pills. Today, these people are troubled by the emotions of sadness. I briefly summarized it because the reasons are different. Some people, for example, because they didn’t do well in the exam, while others were told that single eyelids were not good-looking and they hoped to have double eyelids.
Some people are sad because they see that the families of those who died in the news are in a daze, and then they think that they will be separated from their families in the future. There are so many examples, so I won’t mention them because sadness is so common in our lives. However, we do not have much experience in dealing with this emotion and dealing with it.
For example, this sugar pill said, I know that there is nothing to do with these things, just happens, but in daily life, for example, if I fail the exam, I will be sad for a long time and I can't be happy no matter how hard it is. Reason tells me that there is nothing to be sad about in some things, but sadness is that it can't control it when it comes.
So I especially want to ask the store manager how to deal with my sadness, because there are too many sad emotions, and I don’t know how to control it, which will blow my vitality in life, and I don’t want to do this.
We should really talk about the emotion of sadness. This is also the second issue of our emotional series, and we will arrange it for you. Please send our old friends, my favorite "Emotional Intimacy" , a book about emotions, let's get started.
Part 1 Allow sadness to exist
You can think about it first, what are the things that make you feel sad recently? We will use it later.
Then if there are no sad things recently, you can think about what you usually feel sad because of before? For example, if you have sugar pills before, you said that you didn’t do well in the exam, and then you saw sad news, anything is OK. You will find that things of all sizes may cause us to enter this kind of sadness. Some sadness will not make us cry, but it will be a little sad; some sadness will make us cry and not relieved for a long time. Why do these small things cause us to feel sad?
Then we can look back now. Do the sad things that everyone thought of before have a common feature? The common feature is the reason why we are sad, that is, sense of loss .
This feeling is so bad that we instinctively want to escape, and those who love us want them to disappear quickly.
But that's the same thing: is right, but the method is wrong.
We want to allow sadness to exist, not to say that it will drive it away as soon as it comes. For example, when we are sad, we always hear such comfort words: Don’t be sad and look forward. There will always be good aspects. Come on, cheer up, but this actually seems to be comforting words to tell us that sadness is not allowed to exist.
even many parents scold the child when his child is sad or crying: Don’t cry, it’s not embarrassing to lose it, this should be quite familiar.
Why? Why do we treat our sad emotions like this? It is obviously part of normal emotions, so it is too important to allow sadness to occur .
On the one hand, it is to take back the dominance of our emotions, and on the other hand, sadness exists. If you don’t allow it, it will not exist? It also exists, so although it is uncomfortable, we find a reasonable way to get along with sadness and release it is the most important thing .
Let’s first look at why sadness itself exists, because it is actually the fact that our body tells us in a very sincere way - the fact that loss.
Yes, we just lost that thing, maybe love, maybe family affection, maybe reputation, maybe status, maybe money, then this process will go through heart-wrenching pain.
But If there is no such process, we may always be in an unhealed sadness that cannot be let go. So sadness is allowed to exist, so it can complete this process, it can pass and end.
Part 2 Sadness and depression
But there is something similar to sadness that cannot be released because you don’t know what it comes from, and you don’t know when it will end. This kind of emotion is depression.
Depression and sadness have many similarities, but they are different.
The similarity is when the feeling of loss is not so strong. They bring us similar feelings, they are all depressed;
But the difference is also obvious. is that depression suppresses your emotions, it cannot be expressed, it lacks vitality from the heart, it is missing and difficult to be noticed.
And sadness is there, it can be released, it can be expressed.
Sad people know and clearly know why they are sad, but depressed people may not know. Maybe when their emotions fall to the bottom, and there seems to be no reason for depression to appear.
I hope this important distinction allows us to know what state we are in now when we encounter sadness or depression, because If it is not sadness or depression, we must seek professional help.
In today's society, the speed of inversion is so fast. If you don't pay attention, you may find that you have not been really happy or relaxed for a long time. So I also take this opportunity to remind everyone that while pursuing their dreams and goals, you must also take good care of yourself. I hope everyone is well and we can go further in our lives together.
Part 3 Cooperate with sadness
The last part is still the same rule, and we provide you with some practical methods to walk the sadness in four steps.
Let’s first step
See sadness
When we allow sadness to exist, sadness will surface . You will find that sadness has its natural weight. When you don’t let it come out, it is heavy and it is pressed in your heart, but it doesn’t matter. Now you just need to remember: Oh, this piece of sadness is sadness, it has been seen by you, if you can, you can also say it loudly.
For example: I am really sad now, I am really sad now, what he did hurt me so much, I feel so weak all over now, and so on. is very useful to describe your current situation. It can mobilize the energy of your body and mind, and then gather it to help you face the sadness together and not be swallowed by it.
Step 2
Observe what we will do
What is your attitude towards sadness? While we are sad, we may also be mixed with many other emotions.
You may be misunderstood by someone you trust, and you may be angry in your sadness;
You may be compared with the excellent people around you, and you may feel that you are very poor, and you may also be jealous in your sadness.
At this time, we can observe whether you welcome the emergence of these various complex and mixed emotions, or do you just want to use a smile to cover up all these emotions and then do nothing. You can recall and recall the methods you usually use as an exercise in this step.
Step 3
Give sad space
Because sadness does not necessarily mean crying, so the purpose of giving sad space does not necessarily mean to have a result, that is, I cried and my sadness disappeared, it is not necessarily like this. Give it space to show it intact - not being bound by any restrictions, without any judgment.
For example, if you don’t want to cry, you don’t have to force yourself to cry. The sadness of not crying is also a way of existence. For example, you just find a quiet place, which can be a dark place, and then put your guard down there, or you can turn off the light alone or turn on a small desk lamp, quietly giving sadness a chance to exist so that it can be expressed with confidence. You can spend some time with it, which is enough, doesn't need to do much complicated things.
Step 4
Let sadness speak
Encourage you to open your mouth, relax your chin and facial muscles, relax your throat, and make sounds.
Sometimes, the environment does not allow us to make sounds of sadness, but Sadness itself has a sound, it has the right to speak, For example, when we cry, crying is a sad sound, it is a deep relaxation and purification. For example, sometimes I will look for some touching movies and watch them by myself, which will stimulate the enthusiasm I want to cry at that time.
Crying well. This kind of active guided crying is a very healthy way to regulate emotions, especially for boys, because it seems that crying is not a particularly easy and habitual thing, but you see that it’s only you now. It doesn’t matter. At this time, you are safe, and no one sees you. We can allow sadness to be expressed unscrupulously and release toxins in the body.
Finally, let’s teach you a posture. During the epidemic, this posture is very effective to relieve anxiety among some people, but it is also effective for sadness. We can put it behind these four steps and make a feeling that is a bit like an ending ceremony. Its name is Butterfly Hug.
The specific method is as follows: Cross your arms in front of your chest, and gently pat our shoulders with both arms alternately. This action will help us relax and calm down. You can decide the number of times you slap according to your own situation. Have you learned the butterfly hugging posture?
Regarding sadness, we will talk so much about it today. If you have the hope of explaining which emotion next time, you can leave me a message in the comment area.
That’s all for today’s explanation. I hope everyone can find the dominance of their emotions, so that we can take emotions as our companionship and not be enemies. Emotional Regulation Series, face emotions correctly with you.
[ Comfort Psychological Shop , a psychological convenience store with many practical methods and tools, welcome to sit.】
The same name Public number: Comfort psychology
back parallel world Participate in psychological ability training
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
-