How to improve self-confidence? 3 practical ways to make you a more confident person

Are you a confident person?

What is the main source of your self-confidence?

Is your confidence growing or being consumed?

Self-confidence is the recognition and conviction of one's own strength, and is the psychological tendency to believe that one is capable of achieving goals. .

American educator Dale Carnegie pointed out after investigating the experiences of many famous people: "The factors of success in a person's career, of which knowledge and professional skills only account for 15%, while good psychological quality accounts for 85%." Self-confidence is success It is an emotion that believes that one has the strength to overcome difficulties and realize certain wishes.

Then why are many of us not confident? Let's think about what a newborn baby looks like? Not afraid of the sky, not afraid of the earth, full of self-confidence, believing that you are the world. Each of us comes from infancy, why have we become insecure and where has our confidence gone?

Many people think that self-confidence is out of reach. It seems that only successful people can have self-confidence. In fact, self-confidence is our innate talent potential, but under the influence of the acquired environment, we gradually lose our innate self-confidence.

I often hear parents say this to their children: "Look at your neighbor's child, the test score is more than 90, you two live in the same class, and you live in the same community, why is the gap so big? , I’m about to become a fool!” In the eyes of parents, this is a way to set a positive benchmark, as well as a way to motivate and spur children, and even a little hate iron. But for children, the denial of parents will make children have a sense of inferiority that is "worthless".

In fact, no matter at home, criticism from teachers in school, negative evaluation from classmates, or negative evaluation from leaders and colleagues at work, it will make us feel unconfident and even inferior. Two days ago, I saw a variety show "Heartbeat Offer". In one of the episodes, 12 interns advanced to the final knockout of 10 people. The interns need to choose topics and report for evaluation. Among them, one of the interns was very capable. The first few in the first round of presentations. Due to being overly nervous, he forgot his words in this presentation, stumbling upon his expressions, and did not answer the questions from the judges. Everyone is wondering why the gap is so big. In fact, he failed to deal with his own mentality, resulting in a greatly reduced reporting level, from the level of the top few to being eliminated.

When he left the show, it was obvious that his expression was low and he was cringing when he walked. When the judges interviewed him, they felt extremely inferior and felt that they were bad. Let the judges have to encourage him a few more words. Attitude has a huge impact on him. Our innate self-confidence is like a piece of cake, poached by "negative comments" piece by piece, and finally becomes a person who is not confident.

When we move forward with "tags" on our backs, this kind of negative and inferiority thoughts will hinder our actions, so every time we try and stop, give up quickly, so we continue to aggravate the attack, a vicious circle.

So how do we get back our confidence? Here are three simple ways to use:

1, replace negative self-suggestion with positive self-suggestion Looking back on Zeng Guofan's military career, he often lost battles and committed suicide three times, all of which were rescued in time by his subordinates.Once Zeng Guofan wrote a memorial to the imperial court. Originally, he had suffered repeated defeats, but he was not reconciled and could not face it negatively. He had to summon up his courage and not be afraid of failure. So he changed it to "fail and fight".

When we recall the repeated defeats, it is a feeling of failure and powerlessness, and it is also a demonstration of a lack of self-confidence, and we are even more insecure about our future career. And repeated defeats and battles is a mentality of perseverance and bravery. Failure does not matter, the big deal is to start all over again. Comparing the two mentalities, we can think of our own life and work, we must face it bravely, and change the negative and negative mentality into a positive one.

2. Another way of understanding

I remember hearing the stories of "crying mother-in-law" and "laughing mother-in-law" when I was a child. There is a mother-in-law who has two sons, the eldest son sells umbrellas and the youngest son sells cloth shoes. Every rainy day, she worries that her younger son's cloth shoes won't sell, and every sunny day, she worries that her eldest son's umbrella won't sell. The mother-in-law was always worried and became a "crying mother-in-law". People in the same village comforted her when they saw it. In sunny days, the eldest son's umbrella could not be sold, but the younger son's cloth shoes could be sold. The younger son cannot sell his shoes on rainy days, but the older son can sell his umbrella. When the mother-in-law heard it, she couldn't help but feel happy and became a "laughing mother-in-law".

The truth of the story is very simple. We should pay attention to the same thing, but if we understand it in another way, the result will be very different. In many cases, the problem is not the fact, but the way we look at the fact; our concept is not the same as the fact. , is just an understanding of the current situation or environment, ideas can be uplifting or depressing, constructive or destructive. So why don't we replace depressing ideas with uplifting ones?

3. Overcome Fear and Take Action

In our daily life, we often have stressful situations: an upcoming exam, a conversation, a speech.Often we feel fear at the thought of confronting what we fear, and this is often a stumbling block that prevents us from taking action to achieve our goals. We imagine the worst situation in advance, nothing more than this, dare to face it, and then pay attention to the things at hand, don’t compare with others, don’t think too much about the results, do a little bit of the current thing, and will slowly overcome our fears .

Then we have the motivation and courage to act. People subjectively change their self-suggestion and way of thinking. At the same time, they also need to accumulate experiences such as failure and success through a large number of actual actions. Objective results will increase your strength, which in turn will promote subjective thinking changes. That is, "action---success---get positive feedback---improve self-confidence" or "action---failure---face failure---act again until success---get positive feedback---improve self-confidence. ” a virtuous circle.

Finally, I want to say that the word self-confidence is similar to belief. You can be confident with nothing. You don’t need any evidence. You only need to have the ability to think independently. Everything, self-confidence is the source of all strength.

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