1. Everyone has schemas that look at themselves, which were formed in the early days and influenced the way we know ourselves.
2. There are some self-schemas formed in early childhood that are maladaptive and will have negative effects on our lives.
3. To break the influence of these schemas, we must first realize that schema does not mean the real self, and imagine: if I change to a different schema, what different things will I do?
Let's understand the self-schema in detail:
Jeffrey Young, the founder of "Schema Therapy" therapy, summarized 18 schemas, how many have you won?
1. Emotional deprivation schema
Some are based on intimacy. For example, some people think that love is just an illusion and that their emotional needs will never be met.
2. Being abandoned schema
always worry that you will be abandoned by important people.
3. Loser Schema
Someone believes that they are incapable of their ability and cannot do anything well.
4. Distrust/abuse schema
thinks that others will exploit, hurt, deceive, degrade or abuse themselves. People with this schema often think of preemptive or retaliation afterwards.
5. Social isolation/distancing schema
feels that you are out of place with the world or cannot integrate into society. It is usually caused by seeing yourself and others in childhood experiences.
6. Flaws/Shame Schema
thinks that they have serious flaws, and if others become close to you, they will realize this and leave you.
Flaws and deficiencies often lead to a strong sense of shame.
7. Dependence/incompetence schema
is that you feel that you cannot be self-reliant.
Generally speaking, parents who take big plans and do not cultivate their children's ability to take care of themselves are likely to raise children with this pattern.
8. Susceptibility to harm and disease schema
always feels that I am in trouble, maybe I am sick, going bankrupt, or being under too much pressure to collapse, etc.
9. Entangled/undeveloped self-schema
Entangled people often have no sense of boundaries, they are too emotional. It may also be due to lack of self-awareness or loss of oneself.
is usually caused by parents who control, abuse or overprotect their children, so that their children's ideas and behaviors to develop self-awareness are blocked or therefore lose confidence.
10. Rights/Exaggerated Schema
thinks that you are superior to others. Some people may overstate their strengths (for example, they are one of the richest or most successful people)
11. Lack of self-control/lack of self-discipline schema
cannot swallow your anger or show your emotions.
People with milder symptoms may overemphasize escaping pain, conflict, confrontation or responsibility. In extreme cases, criminal or addictive sexual behavior is likely to occur.
12. Submit to the schema
feels that you are forced to over-leave control to others. This behavior is usually to avoid conflict, anger, or abandonment.
They usually think that their experiences, opinions, feelings and desires are not as important as others. Over time, surrendering can lead to anger overflowing, leading to bad behaviors such as passive attacks or outbreaks of anger.
13.Self-sacrifice Schema
Excessively sacrifices one's own needs to help others.
14. Emotional Repression Schema
In order to avoid other people's opposition, your own sense of shame or out of control, you forcibly suppress your behavior and emotions.
In addition, you rarely show your fragile side or express your needs or feelings freely, and even ignore emotional needs because of excessive emphasis on rationality.
15. Seeking praise/recognition schema
emphasizes gaining recognition from others at the expense of the true needs of oneself and self-awareness.
16. Negative/pessimistic schema
always only sees the dark side of life and ignores the positive side.
It is difficult to enjoy life because they always care about unpleasant things or worry about nothing.
17. Tough Standard/Narrow-Choose Schema
is usually to avoid criticism.Harsh standards are often manifested as perfectionism, rigid thinking, and idealized life (for example, they always use "should" to evaluate all aspects of life).
18. Punishment Schema
believes that if you make a mistake, you should accept severe punishment. People who have this model are often picky and cruel. This usually manifests itself as a deep hatred for people who do not meet their own standards (including themselves).
There are three unhelpful feedback methods for schema: surrender, avoidance and overcompensation.
1, Schematic Surrender
refers to people passively surrendering to the Schematic. They accept schemas and then use them to guide their behavior.
2. Schema avoidance
refers to the way people avoid activating schemas.
3. Overcompensation
is to move from one extreme to another. Your behavior is completely opposite to your schema, just to avoid activating the schema.
The effective way to deal with schemas is to identify, recognize, act, and change.
