In the scope of self (internal), how long does it take to "let the problem run for a while" to be completed? The key lies in whether our own emotions are stable. But how do you calm down your high-spirited emotions? You can go through the following six steps of "Self-safety and Dharma Protection" to calm down your inner self step by step.
1. Feeling (feeling):
When you "feel" emotions, that is, feeling irritable, angry, sad, etc., it means that there are rising emotions inside. At this moment, we need to focus away from the child and focus on ourselves instead. Pay special attention to your own condition.
2. Zhi (Know):
After feeling an emotion, you need to identify it immediately and clearly "know" what that emotion is.
For example, when quarreling, after a little discernment, we can know that the emotions we are in are "anger" and "grievance", which will lead us to become aware. Once we clearly see our emotions, we can become the masters of our emotions and will not be easily manipulated by them.
3. Hand (let go):
After being aware of our emotions, it should bring us back to a stable state of mind. If it doesn't work, it means that our emotions are too high and are about to seize our consciousness, usurp the throne and become the master. At this time, "letting go" is very important. Force yourself to "let go" in consciousness or behavior, and not focus on the conflict. You can take yourself away from the conflict by leaving the scene of the conflict, or by emptying your mind, and separate yourself from the conflict. Keep a safe distance between them.
4. Allow (allow):
If your emotions are still high after you have distanced yourself, then "allow" your emotions to flow and guide yourself with your own mouth: "I "allow" myself to be angry." Use your mouth to guide rationally. Inner emotions can also be accompanied by actions such as crying, roaring, and stamping your feet. As long as they do not harm others, these are all allowed venting actions.
5. Accept (accept):
Allowing yourself to have emotions means that you are a complete person, and a complete person is bound to have various emotions. After giving permission, you need to "accept" the conflicting emotions, and still let yourself guide yourself. My ears listen to my mouth, and I tell myself: "I accept that I can be angry." This "acceptance" is very important. One ring represents my understanding and identification with myself. If you can cooperate with deep breathing at this moment, you can better achieve the state of unity of feeling and reason.
6. Heart (appreciate with your heart):
This step is in the same spirit as the "heart" of "listening to the core", except that the object of appreciation is changed from the child to yourself, and you can appreciate it yourself. For example, "I appreciate myself, even if I am angry, I will not Give up communicating with children", "I appreciate that I am a mother/father who bravely faces difficulties."
Through the above six safety gates, let your emotions run for a while, and you and your children can play safely. Not having conversations when emotions are high is the most important rule when emotions arise. And stability is the only way to start a dialogue.
The six gates of peace of mind and protection can be activated at any time to free yourself from emotional blackmail and prevent emotions from affecting the quality of life.
These six procedures are used according to the size of the event and the situation. They may not necessarily be operated in sequence, nor may all six gates be activated. You can choose the appropriate safety gate according to your needs. However, in order to familiarize yourself with the context and develop habits in the early stage, it is recommended to practice in order. Once you are proficient, you can extract and use it at the appropriate time as needed.
