Hello, I am a programming magician. Welcome to the teacher space. This channel is about reading experience and self-growth. Come and learn with me.
The book I will share with you today is How to Change a Person. The author is Jonah Borg.
believes that everyone has things they want to change, but not every time they are successful. Often they try their best to persuade and present a bunch of evidence, but the other party just doesn't want to accept it. What exactly is the problem?
Actually, we have not found the root cause of the problem. We are so focused on the results we want that we fail to consider why the other person doesn’t want to change. This book cites 5 key roadblocks that prevent people from changing. As long as they can be successfully removed, it is like using the " catalyst " in a chemical reaction, making change easier to happen.
Obstacles 1. Resistance People like to have autonomy and choice, and do not like to be manipulated by others. If they are ordered or persuaded, they will become resistant. Give the other party options or inducements, allow people to make their own decisions, and encourage them to convince themselves.
obstacle 2. The self-preservation effect. Based on inertia, people tend to maintain the status quo and hate the discomfort caused by change. Using the psychology of "loss aversion", instead of emphasizing the benefits of change, it is better to let people see the costs of inaction, which will make it easier for people to take action. The self-preserving effect also reminds me of my attitude towards life. Although there seems to be no loss in maintaining the status quo, when others are making progress bit by bit every day, but I am still standing still, the gap will become more and more obvious.
Obstacle 3. Distance Affected by the "confirmation bias", people prefer to absorb information that is consistent with their original views, while information that is far from their own position falls into the "rejection zone". We should proceed step by step, splitting big demands into small achievable demands; or use in-depth lobbying to find out people's common experiences, and use this as a fulcrum to change our footing, and then push the information step by step into the "acceptance zone."
Obstacle 4. Uncertainty People hate uncertainty. The greater the uncertainty of change, the easier it will be for people to maintain the status quo. By reducing upfront costs (e.g. free trial, free shipping) or reducing later resistance (e.g. loose return policy), the threshold for use can be lowered and uncertainty eliminated.
Barrier 5. Support One person’s opinion may not be powerful enough to inspire action, and needs to overcome translation problems (the feasibility of applying other people’s experiences to one’s own). Find more evidence, make the channels of evidence more diversified, and the timing of occurrence more intensive, so as to increase the influence.
This book not only tells us how to change others, but also allows us to understand ourselves better. I really like the author's smooth and easy-to-understand writing style and rich and interesting stories. It's a bit like reading Lao Ge's works. The reading process is very enjoyable and it also makes people reflect.
This ends today’s sharing. Thank you everyone for watching. Welcome everyone to leave a message in the comment area and tell me your thoughts. Also remember to subscribe to my channel and see you next time.
