The year 2022 is officially halfway over. I don’t know if you are the same as me. It feels like time is moving incredibly fast. I still have to reflect when I write the date now. This year is already 2022.

Comfort Notes Author | Store Manager Wang Rui

The year 2022 has officially passed halfway. I don’t know if you are the same as me. It feels like time is going incredibly fast. I still have to reflect when I write the date. This year is already 2022. . Time flies so fast, and I don’t know how to keep it, so is going to make a half-year summary to share with you today to record my growth.

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For example, for me, I imagine that I have the ability to make the same video, but due to the limitations of my actual conditions, I cannot do it, and the person in front of me has done it, so I feel that he is stealing Gone are the things that originally belonged to me. But the fact is that no one is taking your stuff . They have worked so hard to make a video and they don’t even know you. What does it have to do with you?

But jealousy is an irrational emotion and difficult to control. I often duel with it, but currently there is no winner. Sometimes I seem to find a way and gain the upper hand, but jealousy creeps back in and waits for me when I'm unprepared. For example, I was originally watching videos with enjoyment, and then I saw a video that I thought I could do but didn’t have time to do.

If someone really robbed something from you, for example, you were holding a beloved toy in your hand, and someone snatched it away from you, your reaction should be to be angry or aggrieved, but Not jealousy at all.

Therefore, others have done something that you have not done, or something that you thought you could get has been obtained by others. The emotions generated in this case are mostly bewitched by your own fantasies.

Why should we fantasize like this? Related to our level of narcissism. People who are prone to jealousy will have a higher level of narcissism. There is no good or bad thing about narcissism, only whether they get along well with each other.

Anyway, I tried my best. As a blogger, it is difficult for me to get along with it, because I do make videos, which objectively feeds this kind of jealousy.

Then I thought of a way. Although it didn't have any amazing effects, it was at least a direction. I installed an uncommon browser on my computer, and then in this browser I would browse various videos I like as a visitor. In this state

I found that I seemed to have entered a parallel world, separated from my identity as a blogger , and simply appreciated other people's works. This was my own moment. Be at peace.

If you are also experiencing jealousy, this method is quite helpful and has certain application value in any situation. The core of this method is: When feeling jealous, a relatively quick way to deal with it is to pull yourself out of a fantasy competitive relationship.

• For example, when I browse videos with my own account ID, I will inevitably get involved in this fantasy competition, so the simple way is just not to bring this ID.
• For another example, when we are in school or at work, we may encounter classmates or colleagues who make us jealous. We also need to pull ourselves out of the position of competitors, and we must look at what our original purpose is - your The purpose may be to learn a subject well or to complete a project well, rather than to compete in a fantasy world.

Of course, you may say, I am indeed in a competitive relationship, Then you must clarify your rules, and make it clear what rules you can implement . Fantasy and jealousy cannot solve the problem.

For example, there are many accounts with psychological content. Do I have to be in a competitive relationship? Definitely yes, there are actually many competition rules. To give two examples -

• One is to attract as much attention as possible. The title can make anyone interested instantly at a glance.
• Another possibility is to delve deeper into the field you are good at, and share a small number of issues in a more thorough and distinctive way, so that others can benefit.

To be honest, I think these two rules are fair. It does not mean that content that looks very marketing is necessarily bad. On the contrary, a lot of content now looks very marketing on the surface, but the content after clicking on it is also very good.

But looking at yourself, under what rules can you compete? To be honest, I really want to learn marketing strategies, but I don’t know how, so I can only go further in this direction. For example, I have done two consecutive issues on the theory of three zones - comfort zone, growth zone and fear zone. This time I will continue to talk about this content, because I have major new discoveries to share with you.

2. The theory shared for the third time

This is the third time I have shared this theory of three zones - the comfort zone, the growth zone and the fear zone.

• The comfort zone is a state where you can do something effortlessly;
• the growth zone is when you need to work a little extra and you can feel that you are getting better;
• the fear zone is when you are in a state of great anxiety and panic A state of struggle, suffering and maintenance.

Each zone is actually not perfect, each has its own pros and cons:

• The comfort zone is definitely very comfortable, everything is within the scope of one's competence, and one can do it with ease; but if one stays for a long time, people will be bored, and even feel bored that everything in the world Nothing makes sense.
• We have been growing in the growth zone, which must be very exciting, and we are always making progress and improvement; but the growth zone will become unsteady after a long time, and there may always be a string that is faintly stretched, and we dare not relax.
• The disadvantages of the fear zone are obvious. If you stay there for a long time, you will become internally exhausted and unable to live a normal life. However, the fear zone can also serve as a warning. It is your body telling you that your current state needs your attention.

For example, I have recently developed a new problem that I have never had before, which is migraine and . Anyone who has experienced it knows that this is an "incurable disease". There is no particularly targeted method. The reasons may be different for each person, and they are comprehensive and complex. I talked with a friend who studied medicine and gave me a list of things I could try: the first item on the list was bloodletting. I was really not good at it, so I passed; then the second item was to take some painkillers, and take them in succession. A few days of , ibuprofen, and were of no use; the third item was to relieve psychological stress. This is my strong point, but problems also arise.

Subjectively, I don’t feel any pressure. I even feel that I haven’t done anything recently and am too lazy to do anything. How can I feel any pressure? But based on my understanding of myself, may have entered the fear zone without realizing it, and my body sent me a signal of protest.

This reminds me of a very interesting phenomenon. Those who can swim are often more likely to be in danger in the water, because it is easy to overestimate their abilities. Those who cannot swim may stay far away from the water and not get close at all. .

So although psychological adjustment is my strong point, sometimes I inevitably overestimate my mental abilities. At this time, the body will appear in time, knocking my arrogance, and I will start to reflect: My work and life some time ago I have indeed fallen into a vicious cycle - there are more and more things going on, but I have not updated some of my ways of thinking and habits in time, which has led to increasing pressure. I think about everything on my own without asking for help.

This migraine lasted for nearly 10 days and ended last Sunday. I first chatted with a counselor friend to listen to other people's thoughts and opinions, and it turned out that I had blind spots. A friend said that you have always followed a certain fixed pattern in your environment and life, and it has not changed for a long time, so your brain may be in a state of coexistence of numbness and stress, causing your self-regulation to fail.

My friend is also a counselor, so she often works and lives at home. She shared with me that she would often make some changes under limited conditions—for example, sometimes she would work in the study room, and sometimes she would go to the library. I work in a cafe and sometimes go to a cafe to avoid self-paralysis of my brain.

Then I thought about it, it seems that I have been sitting in the first place every day for at least half a year to eat, work, and watch TV series. It is not two points and one line, but one point that is almost worn out.

Due to the epidemic, I wanted to go to other cities to change my mind, but the current conditions did not allow it, so I booked a hotel nearby and stayed for a week. The migraine actually got better. Although the price is expensive, the pain of migraine is known to everyone, so I think it is still worth it.

The manuscript I shared with you today was written while I was in the hotel. I should have finished it at home before, but my brain has stopped working and I can’t write a single word. As a result, when I arrived at the hotel, my thoughts started to flow. Sometimes changes are just that simple. You can be surprised by changing places.

So back to the three-zone theory we just shared, first of all, it is normal for us to keep jumping between the three zones, because each zone has its own unique information to convey, and each zone also has pros and cons. of.

There is no perfect state in life, but everyone has a suitable proportion - for example, for me, most of it is the growth zone, the middle part is the comfort zone, and a small part is the fear zone, which is more suitable for me; for As for the counselor who just gave me advice, she is more thrill-seeking. Most of the time she needs to be in the fear zone, a small part of it is in the growth zone, and the comfort zone is the least, which is suitable for her.

3. "More" self-confidence can be practiced

This experience of migraine also has an interesting "side effect". I clearly know which things are consuming me and which things make me feel more comfortable. of. I usually like to think about things, both good and bad, but from a proportion point of view, I usually think about bad things, that is, various problems. My mind can't relax and I always look for various problems to solve.

When I didn’t have migraines before, I felt that my brain capacity was very large, so I would stuff everything into my head. But during this time, I found that I couldn’t stuff myself with anything. But not all thinking will give me a headache. I have observed that some thinking will aggravate my headache. That is thinking caused by lack of confidence. - For example, what will others think of me if I do this? Not good enough or something like that. The cranial nerves on this side suddenly tightened, causing my whole head to hurt. The pain was very similar to toothache , which was painful and heart-wrenching.

Then I began to consciously filter out some unconfident thoughts. As soon as my head tightened, I knew that there was no value or necessity in thinking about this matter, at least now I don't have to think about it at the expense of my body. Then I gradually formed a kind of conditioned reflex that would be automatically filtered out once the lack of confidence was generated. I only allowed myself to think about things that my brain load allowed, and this seemed to work.

If it hadn’t been for this experience, I would have thought that whatever I wanted to think about would be beneficial to me. I didn’t expect that there were some things that needed to be filtered out.Although you can't expect to have a migraine to find what you need to filter out, I think there must be other signals in everyone's life to tell you when you need to take care of yourself, and which ones make you more internally consumed. , which ones bring you energy.

Such a signal may be the state of your body's fatigue, it may be the number of times you cry, it may be the degree to which you feel that life is meaningless, it may be the paralysis that makes you less and less willing to move your body. These signals are not dead, but can help you find the things that make you more confident, do more of the things that make you more confident, and filter out the things that have been consuming you but have no results.

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