[Personal Feelings] Why are there often big differences between the way we know ourselves and the way we see ourselves in the eyes of others? It’s not that we deliberately hide our true selves, but that each of us has multiple sub-personalities, and the self-isolation of these su

2024/04/1311:47:33 psychological 1930

[Personal feelings]

Why are there often big differences between the way we know ourselves and the way we see ourselves in the eyes of others? It’s not that we deliberately hide our true selves, but that each of us has multiple sub-personalities, and the self-isolation of these sub-personalities leads to cognitive biases.

Why do we "indirectly be complacent and continue to eat and wait for death"? Probably because there are two opposing personalities in our bodies. They are constantly fighting. Whichever side has the upper hand can control our behavior.

For personalities that don't know each other, once it gets serious, will they develop into schizophrenia patients like those in " Fight Club "?

[Core concept paraphrase]

In each person's body, there are about 15-40 "selves". Each sub-personality can be said to be an independent self. There are also "interpersonal relationships" between these sub-personalities, which can be divided into four categories: don't know each other, know them but don't care, know them but don't like them, know them and like them.

doesn’t know: There will be self-isolation between sub-personalities. The advantage is to avoid seeing things you don’t want to see, but the disadvantage is of course that it makes people lack self-awareness.

knows but doesn’t care: is an emotionally cold sub-personality, which often manifests itself in life as a character that is alienated from others.

knows but doesn't like: are two opposing personalities. They often coexist, and fierce conflicts break out between them all the time.

knows and likes: This situation is of course the best. When one personality likes or another personality, the heart will be more tolerant and harmonious. The more the sub-personality thinks and likes, the less people need to suppress themselves. But the disadvantage is that this person may be content with the status quo and not seek progress.

How to judge the relationship between sub-personalities? The answer is: matrix diagram.

Through the matrix diagram, we can clearly see the relationship between each personality. If there are many conflicts, it means there are many inner conflicts and poor self-acceptance.

[Case in the book]

There is a girl who has four personalities: a proud man, a quiet handsome man, a decadent middle-aged father, and a 40-year-old annoying mother. However, these four personalities do not know each other.

In the heart of a person with a workaholic personality, there must be a dominant personality that pursues efficiency and success, and at the same time, he must also have a very lazy personality. The two despise, ridicule, and hate each other.

[Quotes from the book]

A person's heart is a small society.

[Quotes from famous people in the book]

None.

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