emotion? Emotions refer to people’s psychological experiences of happiness, anger, sorrow, happiness, fear, etc. This experience is a response to a person’s attitude towards objective things, and has affirmative and negative nature.
Emotions are reflected in all aspects of life. Affirmative emotions can infect others, but negative emotions can also harm relatives or friends around them.
For example, if you review for several weeks all night, but fail the exam, your friend will get a high score in the exam casually, then you will have a feeling of not wanting to face your friend, even if you know your friend is not Wrong, your friend feels very innocent. This is the effect of negative emotions on others.
These negative emotions make you suffer the second psychological injury of yourself when you are hurt for the first time by unsatisfactory things, creating the illusion that you are inferior to others and that people are living in failure.
So how to avoid such emotional distress?
In the 1950s, American psychologist Albert Ellis (A. ElliS) created a kind of psychology called rational emotion therapy (Rational-Emotive Therapy) Treatment method, referred to as RET. This method is mainly aimed at solving the phenomenon of emotional distress caused by unreasonable beliefs that meet people with disadvantages in life.
This method is also called rational emotion therapy . The basic view of human nature believes that people are both rational,It is also irrational, leading the transition from irrational ideas to rationality through enlightenment. In life, many people like "I like = I should; difficult = no way; some = all; okay = bad" This kind of irrational thought will directly lead to negative emotions.
Ellis believes that emotionally distressed people often have the following three characteristics:
1. Absolute requirements . It can be understood as excessive "rational" thinking, such as "I must do it", "I must be able to do it", "Others must treat me that way" and so on. Start with your own wishes. If you don't, you will be negative. mood. But life will not go as it pleases, people will not be loved by others, and flowers will not bloom as they say they are. Everything naturally has its laws of operation. If you can't recognize this correctly, people can't manage their emotions accurately.
2. Over-generalized evaluation . In an unreasonable way of thinking that is small or general, the first reaction of some people is to exaggerate the nature of the matter. For example, if you go to a restaurant to eat, the food you order has not yet been served, and you see people around you. If I don’t, I’ll just say that this is a failed restaurant. I feel that I shouldn’t order food so quickly, wasting time and money. I feel annoyed and feel that today is terrible, and even hostile to others.
3. Terrible result . This kind of manifestation means that when an event has not happened or just happened, very terrible and very bad consequences have already been thought of in the mind, directly denying the meaning of the existence of a thing, and people will fall into extremely negative emotions. This situation sometimes happens, but it is inevitable. We must correctly understand this problem. Everything has two sides. Looking at it from different angles, you will find the good side. Don’t judge things too decisively.In this case, 99% of life is bad, and people will live very tired.
The core theory of reasonable emotional treatment is ABC theory . Ellis believes that the triggering event A and the emotional behavior C of one event are not necessarily causal. The change of the intermediate idea B can affect and lead to different results.
ABC theory
For example, while driving and waiting for a traffic light, there is a young man walking slowly on the sidewalk, seeing the green light immediately, and the young man rubbing in the middle of the road. At this time, you are impatient to honk the horn, urge him to act quickly and don’t delay everyone's time; and your friend will be another way, he will wait patiently, and will give priority to whether this young man is unwell and not easy to move. So what if I wait a while?
The same event produces different emotional behaviors C, which means that there is an intermediate idea B at work.
People's attitudes, opinions, and evaluations of an event are the direct reasons that determine the nature of the event. So to change the practice of emotional distress is not to entangle one thing and why this is the case, because it is inevitable in life. A powerful practice should focus on oneself, think about why you have such thoughts, and whether there are other reasons. , Change your emotions by changing your cognition .
But ABC theory also has limitations. This theory is to change the nature of emotions by changing people's thoughts, focusing on personal cognitive orientation, but if you encounter some serious emotional and behavioral obstacles,The help that can be provided is also limited, and it is more effective for the kind of people who are young and have a higher intellectual and cultural level.
Cognitive cognition, people need to know their roots before they can change from the roots.
Finally, I wish you can control your emotions. It is very important to have good emotions. As the saying goes: smile, less than ten years. A happy attitude is worth a trip to the world.
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