This is the story of the 530th real person we tell
I am Fang Linyu
(I teach in Liangshan to help people in need, and the feeling of being needed healed my childhood wounds)
In 1994, I was born in a mountainous area in Nanchong, Sichuan, said It's not an exaggeration to say that it's a remote country, and there is an older brother at home. When I was 2 years old, my parents went out to work to earn money and were away from home all year round, so my brother and I lived with my grandparents. Mountain people have poor hygiene awareness. I often have lice on my head and dress in rags, much like an African child.
At that time, the elderly in mountainous areas were generally uneducated and very patriarchal. I was assigned to do a lot of hard work, such as cutting wheat , harvesting rice, breaking corn, cutting grass and herding cattle, etc., but my brother could find excuses to be lazy.
I am not afraid of the hard work. What hurts me is that whenever guests come to my house, no matter whether the table is full or not, I cannot serve the food, but my brother can. Even when eating, the meat and vegetables are always placed close to my brother. When I mustered up the courage to pick up a piece of meat, my grandma would forcefully knock it off. My parents did not support me because they were afraid of grandma. .
(My brother and I were young)
One day in the first month of the year when I was 10 years old, a relative at home gave my grandma a 400 yuan red envelope. She casually placed the red envelope under the mat while she was cooking. Later, another relative came. His children were well-dressed and clean, and I suddenly felt ashamed. When everyone was about to go out together, I told them to go first, and I stayed and locked the door before leaving.
Unexpectedly, just because I left a little late, I was identified as a thief and received a solid beating. Because when she came back in the evening, grandma suddenly found that 400 yuan was missing, so she thought I had stolen it and asked me to hand over the money. But I didn’t steal. Where can I get the money?
But no matter how much I cried, grandma not only didn’t believe me, but also joined forces with grandpa to beat me in turns. They chased me all the way from home to the fields and beat me for 2 hours. I burst into tears from the pain, and my clothes were soaked by the water in the terraces.
(When I was a child, I almost never took photos alone, they were all taken with my brother and the others)
I was lonely and had low self-esteem because I was not loved by my family. Although my grades were good enough to lead my classmates in reading English words, I was still the youngest in the class. He is so transparent that he doesn’t even dare to raise his hand to answer questions in class. Fortunately, I met a good middle school teacher.
Once, the teacher called me outside the classroom and asked me: "Do you laugh at others when they answer questions?" I said: "No." The teacher then said: "Since you can't laugh at others, then why do you think others will laugh at you?" The teacher's words relieved the knot in my heart.
Yes, why do you have to live so cowardly? There is no one I can rely on, so I have to be brave and self-reliant. Since then, I have become a little more lonely and courageous in my character. I want to prove to my grandparents that girls can also make a career.
(I have always been a girl with low self-esteem and sensitivity since childhood)
Later, after studying hard, I was admitted to college and finally had the opportunity to escape. I wanted to be as far away from home as possible. But children in the mountains have their own limitations. They don’t know how far is far. It can be very scary to venture into a strange big city alone. So, I chose a university in Chengdu. Because my English scores were good, I enrolled in the tourism English major.
When I entered university, my life seemed to have entered a new stage of darkness. Because I am studying English, if I want to earn a high salary, I will most likely have to go abroad to work. Many senior students also tell us how wonderful the outside world is after returning from abroad as tour guides. I also really want to go abroad and have a look, but there is only one opportunity left.
(I am alone in a foreign country)
In 2014, during my sophomore year, this opportunity came! Singapore A local exhibition company came to the school to recruit volunteers. Air tickets, food and accommodation were all included, which meant that I could go abroad for free and get subsidies. I signed up immediately. But only 5 people were admitted out of 400 applicants. I felt a lot of pressure.
Waiting until the day of the interview, I felt that there was no point in worrying, so I just gave it up and left it to God to do whatever I wanted. So, I went on stage and sang a song bravely and gave an explanation in English. Unexpectedly, I was successfully hired.
When the winter vacation came, I got on the plane to Singapore as scheduled and started a more than 40-day working trip. But before I could recover from the novelty of flying, intense work was put on the agenda. works from 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. every day. It’s so hard that I don’t have time to go out and walk around.
(I lived in bunk beds when working abroad)
This experience of working in Singapore confirmed to me that I can adapt to working life in a foreign country. So when I was looking for a job after graduation, I accepted an invitation from a Singaporean company to do sales there. Like many rural children, I have to earn money to support myself as soon as I graduate. At that time, my parents were still working in the factory, and I didn’t want to ask them for money. So, I borrowed 15,000 yuan from relatives and friends for travel expenses and went abroad again to make a living.
The advantage of my job is that I have a lot of statutory holidays. I have three days off and one day off, and four days off and two days off. I only work 40 hours a week and rarely work overtime. But wandering in a foreign country also brings a lot of pain and helplessness.
When I first went to Singapore, I had no place to live, so I had to find two girls I knew and shared a room in a house. There were other roommates living in the other rooms. After a long time, we found out that these roommates were actually bartenders. They always came back at three or four in the morning, smoked and drank, and sometimes even brought boys back to spend the night.
Moreover, the male landlord is also very disrespectful to the girls in our house. He often breaks into the room on the pretext of repairing the air conditioner. At that time, I couldn't sleep well all day long. I wanted to cancel the lease, but the landlord said he would not refund the deposit. I had no money to rent an apartment anymore, so I could only live in fear.
(A photo of my friend and I when we were teaching in Liangshan)
Later, my colleagues in Singapore told me that I should call the police in this situation, as the landlord had already broken the law. In Singapore, a maximum of 10 people can live in a house, so I sent a message to the landlord to express my intention to call the police. As a result, he came to refund my money within a few minutes. It seems that sometimes, evil people really need to be punished by law. After the accommodation was solved, big trouble arose at work.
I was assigned to sell goods at the counter of a shopping mall. On my first day at work, my manager gave me a lipstick sample. Later, I went to another shopping mall to work as a substitute. When I got off work, the company wanted to check the contents of my bag. As a result, I found out that the trial lipstick was also sold at the counter, so I suspected that I had stolen it. When I called the manager, he refused to admit that he gave me lipstick. I couldn't explain anything, so I was suspended from the company for 5 days and almost deported to my country.
I was very scared at the time because I borrowed money to go abroad. What would I do if I was deported? Fortunately, I dug out a photo to prove my innocence and was able to return to work. It was only after that that the manager told me that he was leaving his job, so he didn't want to get involved in anything. In this way, has worked here for 3 years and 7 months, but he still feels that he has no sense of belonging and his own value. Fortunately, I had already paid off my relatives’ money and had some savings, so I decided to resign and return to China.
(Every time I go abroad, these suitcases are all my belongings)
On May 28, 2018, I returned to my motherland. It felt very solid to return to my homeland after a long absence. Because I had some savings and a strong desire to explore, I didn’t rush to work and wanted to walk around. In more than a year, I went to Tibet and Nepal, and also traveled around India.
I found that New Delhi and other big cities are very dirty for two reasons: First, Indians are very tolerant of animals. Cows and dogs can roam freely on the streets, and there will be animal excrement on the roads; second, because they are remote There are many people who come to make a living in the mountainous areas. They pick up garbage and sleep in bridge caves and streets, forming slums.
Seeing how difficult their life is, I feel that my life is already very happy. Shouldn’t I be too demanding on my family?
In 2020, I traveled from India to Iran via Pakistan , where I was trapped by the sudden epidemic. At that time, the local people in Iran were panicked, and many people were forced to sleep on the streets. Fortunately, the owner of the hotel where I stayed was kind and willing to let me stay. Not long after, I received a message from the embassy saying that the motherland was chartering a flight to take us home and even arranged a quarantine hotel. At that moment, I really felt a warm current gushing out, and I was proud to be Chinese.
(I was taken back from Iran by a chartered flight from my motherland and quarantined in a hotel. I am grateful to my motherland)
Having received the kindness of my motherland, I often wonder, how should I repay it? Perhaps it is the magical power of 's law of attraction and , thinking that things will be easier to achieve. One time when I was playing with my mobile phone, I saw the news about recruiting support teachers and immediately filled out the registration form. After passing the phone interview, I went to Liangshan Mountain to teach for a semester. Perhaps because of my childhood experience, I felt that the mental health of children in the mountains was very important, so I chose to teach moral education in junior high schools.
When I came to the volunteer teaching school, I found that it was completely different from what I expected. The hardware here is good and it is no different from those in the city. There are piano rooms and guitar rooms. What is lacking is just people who teach knowledge. There are almost no left-behind children in the local area. With the help of the government, the parents of the children work nearby.
The only bad thing is that the concept of the mountain people has not completely changed. Families with six children are very common here. Girls can get more than 100,000 yuan in gifts when they get married, so some parents let girls drop out of school at the age of 15 and get married early.
(When I was teaching as a volunteer, the girls in the class often helped the family with farm work)
Many girls in the class wrote anonymous letters to me about this problem. I was worried about them and encouraged them to continue to go to school. If they don’t have money, I will think about it. Method. For this reason, I visited their homes for more than a month during the summer vacation, just to help them gain more opportunities to go to school. In this process, I also gained love from them. Once, when I was correcting my homework, a girl in the class shyly gave me a few packs of snacks. I knew she was reluctant to eat them and wanted to leave the best for me.
Before I started teaching, I always felt that I was a weak woman who was injured in childhood. I didn’t expect that now I am strong enough to help others. This feeling of being needed makes me feel very satisfied.
(In Liangshan, I give ideological and moral classes to children)
I like to explore more unknown parts of myself inwardly. In November 2020, under the introduction of a friend, I went to a temple in Ganzhou, Jiangxi to experience becoming a monk. The first thing you do when you go to the temple is to shave your head and then put on monk's robes. I get up at 4 o'clock every day, ring the bell, beat the drum, and then prepare for morning classes and have breakfast. My life is very regular.
I found that the masters here are very considerate of others, which is very different from the rumors outside. The most impressive time was when I forgot to dry my clothes after washing them. When I went to check again, someone had already dried them for me and folded the dry clothes and put them aside. They are very tolerant of people and things, like to work quietly, and are willing to help others. They have no greed or selfish desires, and naturally have fewer quarrels and disputes. In this atmosphere, I became more compassionate.
has spent all my savings in the past few years as a traveling teacher. In January 2022, when a company in Putian, Fujian Province extended an invitation to me to work in Uganda, Africa, for two years, I accepted. Although I am worried that the epidemic is not over, and I am the only unmarried girl, supporting myself is the top priority.
(On the plane to Africa, undergoing epidemic inspection)
Africa does not seem to be as scary as I thought. The place I live in is a villa in a wealthy area rented by the company. It is clean, bright and safe. Many Africans are very friendly to the Chinese. They think the Chinese are rich. One time, I went to recharge my phone bill and charged 100,000 Ugandan coins (equivalent to RMB 180). The female boss who paid the phone bill actually thought I was very rich. In fact, I just charge more at once because I am too lazy to run.
After work, I like to walk around and look around.This rumored to be a very poor country does not have as complete infrastructure as domestic cities. Even the football fields are very simple and there are no stands, so the children sit on the ground. may be lacking in material, so the children's happiness here has become very simple. A lollipop can make the whole day sweet.
(Now I have learned to communicate with others and open myself up to give love)
Admittedly, in the past few years of traveling around, I have met many people who are more miserable than me. I feel that life is not easy, so why bother to make things difficult for myself over my childhood? Woolen cloth? When I was a child, I liked to criticize others and couldn't figure out why my grandparents didn't like me. But now I have become stronger and can face these injustices calmly.
In the past few years when I was working alone outside, I learned to help others and received a lot of rewards, which became a good medicine for me to heal my childhood pain. The rest of your life is still long, there is no need to dwell on the past, you still have to look forward.
Although my grandparents now treat my grandson better than me, I have learned to forgive and no longer resent them for beating me and scolding me when I was a child. Every year I give money to be filial to them. Thinking about it from another perspective, if they were too good to me, I might be spoiled and not be as independent and self-reliant as I am now.
(Sharing lollipops with children in Uganda, seeing them seems like seeing myself when I was a child)
Maybe it’s because my life is on an upward slope compared to my childhood, so I feel hard. Fortunately, I am now living the life I want, able to support myself, and still have enough energy left to help my family and those in need. Make peace with childhood hurts, make peace with parents and grandparents, there is nothing worth worrying about in life, you are not bound by the past, you can move freely towards the future, and live happily every day.
went from having low self-esteem and sensitivity to becoming a kind and strong girl. After years of painstaking self-healing, she finally tasted the sweetness of life. All the hardships along the way have been worth it.
In the river of time, I am glad that I did not follow the tide, but took the initiative in life. In the future, I will still look forward to tomorrow with courage! I also look forward to finishing my work, returning to the embrace of the motherland as soon as possible, and finding a stable life in a city I like.
[Oral: Fang Linyu]
[Editor: Nan Fang]
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