Text/Jiang Su Xingyun
一
My parents’ marriage is a common military marriage model of the older generation. At that time, the two were introduced by an acquaintance and got married, and then they got married in the army.
My father, Jiang Rulin, is from Huai'an, Jiangsu. He joined the New Fourth Army from Huazhong Construction University at the age of 17. My father fought bloody battles for the liberation war and participated in many famous battles, such as Meng Lianggu, Kaifeng , Jinan, Huaihai , My father fought in the battles of crossing the Yangtze River and Shanghai, and made many military exploits in the hail of bullets. After the founding of the People's Republic of China, he entered the Third Artillery (Nanjing) School from the 23rd Army of the old army for further studies. He graduated with excellent grades and stayed at the school. He was organized and sent to Jinzhou Artillery School as a tactics instructor. In 1955, he was awarded the rank of captain and a company cadre.
My father who joined the army at the age of 17
My young and handsome father
My mother Qiu Fengyun is from Jinzhou, Liaoning Province. She is eight years younger than my father. According to the popular standards of mate selection in the society at that time, this marriage was also a good match. They were about the same age. My parents are thousands of miles apart from the north to the south. Two people who were originally unrelated met here in Jinzhou . It was a destined marriage.
My father is a survivor who has walked through the smoke of the Liberation War. He is very lucky to live to the day of victory. I feel that I am living not only for myself, but also for those comrades who have sacrificed their lives. Therefore, I am full of double love and cherishment of life, and I am also very loving and tolerant of my family. My mother has the final say in everything at home, and my father is devoted to military construction. He does not worry about anything at home, leaving all the children and housework behind. Take care of your mother.
In my impression, my parents are a pair of resentful couples who always live a noisy life. My father is a tough guy in the military and is somewhat chauvinistic. My mother was a good housewife who was diligent and thrifty, but she was also a picky hostess. My father always did things that were not to my mother's liking, and my mother always quarreled with my father over trivial housework. For example, when my father buys something, my mother will always find something wrong with him. When my father does something, my mother will always find fault with him as an afterthought. Without reminding him in advance or coming up with a plan, my mother will always attack his father Confronting him was a way to suppress his father. My mother's secret to running the house is to follow the family motto of her mother's family. The saying that my grandfather often talks about is: "You can't be without power for a day, and you can't be without money for a day." Therefore, after the mother gets married, she has to take charge of the family and manage the money.
Parents who have been with her for a lifetime
二
My mother is from Jinzhou. At that time, when my parents got married, they had to give the girl a bride price according to the custom in Northeast China. My mother said that the bride price shocked the neighbors and she was very proud of it. My mother had always believed confidently that since she was eight years younger than her father, her natal family would benefit from her father, an officer, and it was their duty to support her natal family. According to the mother, on the second day after the wedding, her second brother came to borrow money to build a house and demanded 60 yuan in return. Oh my God! In those days, 60 yuan was an astronomical figure! The mother said that her natal brother came to ask for money right after she got married. She was too ashamed to speak to her father (because the mother knew very well that her natal family had no intention of paying back the money and would never be able to afford it). However, her second brother was waiting for her. Unable to leave, I had no choice but to tell my father. Without saying a word, my father asked his comrades to borrow money, collected a huge sum of 60 yuan for his second brother, and took it away.
Another time, my mother’s third sister got a bachelor’s degree from Shenyang Agricultural College. In those days, going to college was very luxurious! My grandpa, who favored sons over daughters, did not allow her to continue studying. My third aunt cried to death. Her grandpa asked her to raise her own tuition and living expenses before she could study, so she was sent by her parents to borrow money from her parents.Then, the fourth sister passed the normal school and came to her parents from time to time to ask for financial support. Then, her father continued to support the two of them in their studies. During the summer vacation, they would come to Jinzhou for a few days to stay, eat and drink, and buy seasonal clothes. Mother She is a generous supporter of her mother's family, as if she is competing with her mother's family to take advantage of her parents' small family. Hey, my father, a young military officer, was really having a hard time.
According to my mother, it was popular to wear red sweaters and woolen coats at that time, which were very fashionable at the time. My father also bought these fashionable outfits for my mother. My two aunts saw it and said they liked it very much. My mother I discussed with my father to give the red sweater and woolen coat to my two sisters respectively. My father was very unhappy at that time, saying that my mother didn't care about his feelings at all. When my mother saw that her father was really angry, she didn't dare to express her father's feelings to her two sisters.
My parents and two younger sisters who are studying are on summer vacation, and the two younger sisters who are studying have come to the army
Now that I think about these past events, I feel very sorry for my father! Father is really tired! I feel that my mother has no boundaries in dealing with things. She puts her family first and her biological husband at the back of her mind. Relying on her husband's love and generosity for her, he subsidized her mother's family without caring about her own family. She seemed to only care about her father's military officer status and high salary!
Later, my father was transferred to Xuanhua Artillery Academy and left Jinzhou Artillery School. My mother said that one of the factors was that my father was determined to escape Jinzhou in order to stay away from her natal family, and my mother herself was tortured by her natal family.
Handsome and handsome father
Father and comrades taking photos
I have been full of personality since I was a child, a little rebellious
三
Since I was a child, I have always watched my mother arguing with my father over housework. I have seen my parents arguing and arguing all my life. I vowed not to have such a marriage and never live like my mother. I was afraid of quarrels and felt that living a life of wealth and wealth was worldly. I thought that my parents' marriage only contained worldly fireworks and no love and romance.
My views on love and marriage come from literary novels. The love I imagine must be an encounter of love at first sight. It must have that heart-pounding feeling, vigorous love, as gorgeous as a moth flying into a flame, and like San Mao. With Jose , the unforgettable marriage and love of Rodin and Camille. It must not be the kind of ordinary marriage where the blind date is introduced by others, like parents. However, my mother always reprimanded me and said: What are you talking about? You are addicted to reading books. You read messy novels all day long, and your brain is ruined.
I didn’t take my mother’s reprimand seriously. What makes me feel very strange is that in real life, although my parents are noisy and quarreling every day, surprisingly, my father still thinks highly of my mother and praises her as a good wife and mother. My mother is also very satisfied with my father, saying that my father is brave and responsible, has an upright and strong personality, is kind and generous, and is a good husband and father that is hard to find even with a lantern.
Father, two aunts and brother-in-law
Parents and us
My parents were busy with work when they were young and had heavy teaching and training tasks. My parents sent me to a full-day kindergarten since I was a child, and I lived in a boarding school in middle school. After graduating from high school, I joined the queue to become an educated youth before I turned 18. Later, I was transferred to work in other places. After many years, I was finally transferred back to my parents, and I got married at a later age. Due to my age, I may be used to living independently, so I am not used to living in a big family. Perhaps because I was too obsessed with reading, I had very romantic fantasies about love. I thought the model of my parents’ love was too ordinary, even vulgar. So I didn't agree with the candidate my parents were looking for, and I had a bit of a rebellious mentality, telling them not to worry about my affairs.
Now that I have experienced love and marriage, I have a personal experience of love and marriage and a different understanding of love and marriage than when I was young. I have seen my parents go through the baptism of the times and the ups and downs of fate, whether they have experienced the troughs of fate. After experiencing the glory of life, the couple stayed together throughout their lives and took care of each other in their later years. This really moved me from the bottom of my heart!
Father and Comrades
(To be continued)
About the author:
Jiang Su Xingyun, a member of the Nanjing Writers Association; has worked in the education system for more than 30 years; a daughter of a military officer; has been with the army for 17 years since her father; has been with the army for 13 years since her husband; writing The original intention was to record "The Story of Xuanhua Artillery City Beyond the Great Wall", the story of my parents' generation, my generation's childhood, and life growth.
