text/Xiamo
01
Marriage is like a work that requires two people to complete together. Women feel sorry for men and do more work, then men will get used to women's efforts over time and get used to giving more work to women.
Liu Yu and Zhou Hui lived together with each other for two years. In the spring of the third year, the two entered the palace of marriage.
People often say that marriage life and love life are very different. As expected, in the first month after marriage, Zhou Hui felt that her husband began to despise her.
First of all, Liu Yu no longer takes the initiative to help Zhou Hui do some miscellaneous work. Although Zhou Hui is more diligent and takes care of all the big and small things at home, Zhou Hui hopes from the bottom of her heart that her husband can help her share some housework.
Furthermore, it is the "amnesia" presented by Liu Yu after marriage. Liu Yu remembers all festivals before marriage, including the Chinese Valentine's Day, each other's birthdays, anniversary and even Children's Day. After marriage, it is like having amnesia, and all festivals are indifferent.
Once upon a time, Liu Yu became so cold and regarded Zhou Hui's efforts as a habit.
The endless efforts and the "unceremonious" request from her husband made Zhou Hui feel that she has lost the fun of her marriage life.
Zhou Hui often feels very tired in marriage, and feels that marriage has become her own marriage.
The more a woman gives in her marriage, the less a man knows how to manage a marriage.
Because, he will regard women's efforts as a habit and ask for "unceremoniously".
Marriage needs to be managed. One-sided efforts will only trigger the other party to "unceremonious" requests. If a virtuous cycle cannot be formed, no matter how much effort you give, it will not improve the happiness of the marriage.
02
When a husband and wife, there is no "politeness", no gratitude and sense of proportion, the relationship will become as clear as water.
Fu Xin and Li Qiu are couples who have been in love for three years from free time to marriage. Over the past three years, they have fully understood each other. Perhaps because they did not have children and in-laws' intervention, their marriage was very happy and sweet.
But this calmness was broken with Li Qiu's pregnancy. Because of her pregnancy, she felt weak all over and her husband advised her to quit her job and recuperate at home.
Although it is a rest, Li Qiu was not idle at home, but cleaned the house clean and prepared the meal and waited for her husband to come back.
At first, the husband would always praise his wife, say she was a capable woman, and even tell her not to work so hard, he would feel distressed. With her husband's concern, Li Qiu became more willing to give.
took care of all the housework, and also took care of her husband's food, clothing and expenses in an orderly manner.
Gradually, the husband became accustomed to it and no longer praised his wife for being able. Without "polite" words, he naturally enjoyed his wife's efforts.
Fu Xin's work is getting better and better, his salary is getting higher and higher, and the value it brings is also higher and higher.
Others call him "Mr. Fu", but because he feels successful in his career, he is inflamed. At home, he also begins to look arrogant.
After the birth of the child, Li Qiu became even busier. Sometimes, she didn't have time to settle breakfast for her husband, and her husband would accuse Li Qiu with a stern face: "Why haven't breakfast been prepared yet? Don't you know I'm on a business trip?"
In the middle of the night, the child cried constantly, and the husband would not get up to hug the child, but instead said to his wife in an irritable tone: "Will you take care of the child? You cry non-stop all the time? Have you deliberately made me unable to sleep?"
Time and time, Li Qiu felt more and more grievances, and often felt that life was very helpless. Because my husband couldn't see her efforts when he saw , he couldn't see her grievances.
Even later, Li Qiu felt that her husband no longer loved her.
When a man is no longer grateful to a woman's efforts and cannot see her efforts, it actually means that she has no more status in his heart.
03
More than one life is very expensive, women, please stay away from men who are "unceremonious" to you.
Fu Xin became picky about his wife, and his words were always full of disgust and complaints.Li Qiu often shed tears secretly because of grievances, and she finally woke up in her helpless marriage.
She recalled her marriage life over the past few years, and her husband and she were changing little by little. She was giving blindly, and her husband was also asking for it blindly, and she was no longer "polite" to her.
Both of them were used to this way of getting along, which led to her becoming more and more tired and her marriage lost a sense of happiness. Often, she was busy taking care of her children and her husband's "inadequate care" caused her husband to be dissatisfied. The two quarreled more often, and their relationship broke down.
Li Qiu realized that her husband was "unceremonious" to her efforts, she wanted to change such a life. After the child went to kindergarten, Li Qiu went to find a job.
Although Li Qiu was looking for a job, he was opposed by her husband, saying that he could support the family. But Li Qiu insisted on her wishes because she knew an unhappy marriage, which started with her hand asking her husband for money to spend.
has been out of touch with society for several years, and it is obviously difficult to work, but Li Qiu did not give up and did not choose to return to the "comfortable" marriage and family.
Because she knows that in life in marriage, women live a humble life without confidence.
Li Qiu is studying hard and always working with a positive attitude. Gradually, Li Qiu was able to handle work properly and didn't feel so tired.
Because the husband did not have a wife at home, he always complained to Li Qiu at the beginning, saying that she didn't listen to him and that she was not a competent wife. Later, Fu Xin gradually accepted his wife's job.
Because Li Qiu became more feminine after she got a job. Her conversation, temperament, and dress began to change, becoming a landscape in front of her husband, full of freshness.
Fu Xin also recognized his wife's approach and no longer complained that she ignored the family, but sometimes he would take the initiative to do housework; take the initiative to care about his wife, whether she was tired from work or not; take the initiative to take care of her children.
Li Qiu looked at her husband's changes, as if in a while, they returned to each other. The relationship between husband and wife is better and marriage becomes happy.
Li Qiu also understood a truth: the rest of his life is very expensive, women, please stay away from men who are "unceremonious" to you.
Only when a woman has the capital to leave a man can men love you more. It turns out that only by learning to stop relying on one’s behalf can one let go of love.
When the relationship breaks down, a woman should learn to stop the loss in time and learn to "leave" him. If you no longer rely on him, you can leave him. Only when a woman can leave a man, she will make the man cherish it more.
04
In the love rules of marriage, it is important to maintain independence. This self contains considerations of dealing and hope for the other party’s return. Considerations give the marriage a balance.
Women who keep giving in marriage are prone to lose themselves, easily lose their respect from their husbands, and more easily make their husbands no longer cherish their efforts.
The excessive efforts of women will also make men not know how to give and are too lazy to give in marriage, and thus they do not know how to manage the marriage.
When a woman finds that she has made her contribution for her family and her husband, she cannot get the married life you want, she should know how to stop the loss in time.
For the unworthy efforts, say no, and the efforts to men must end here. Putting your energy into yourself is one thing worth doing.
Men are used to asking for and being "not polite" to women in marriage, so women's status in men's minds will be very little left.
Career is always a woman's armor, which can make women more confident and have more status in marriage.
Happy women are women who can live without men, and happy women are more likely to live the way they like.
More than one life is very expensive, women, please stay away from men who are "unceremonious" to you. When women can leave men, men know how to cherish them better.
－END－
Today’s topic:
Have you ever been "polite" to your husband’s efforts?
Marriage message discussion.
