In Xu Zhimo's rich and colorful emotional world, she is the bleakest stroke;
And in her comprehensive life, the marriage with Xu Zhimo has also become an indelible injury. Pain;
When she was young, she lived in the shadow of a man and was miserable for half a lifetime. After finding herself, her life became radiant;
, she finally gave up because she knew how to turn around gorgeously. .
That year, when she was 15 years old, she obeyed her parents' orders and became Xu's daughter-in-law.
Marriage satisfied both families. She thought it should be the most solid backing for the marriage, but she gradually understood that the mutual identification of the two parties in the marriage is the basis of the marriage.
Unfortunately, her husband Xu Zhimo always dislikes her. As early as when he saw her photo for the first time, he had said in a disgusting tone: "Country stuffed buns!" , He has always used this attitude to hurt a woman who is dignified and generous in the eyes of everyone.
"I didn't bind my feet, but to my husband, I can say that my feet were entangled because he thought I was conservative in thinking and didn't read much." Zhang Youyi recalled.
This was actually unfair to Zhang Youyi. She was 12 years old at the Jiangsu Provincial Second Girls Normal School. And received advanced education here.
Because of her marriage, she had to terminate her studies and applied to continue her studies after marriage, but she had to give up this plan because she was helpless with household chores.
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apart from fulfilling the most basic marriage obligations, he ignored her.
Actually, even in fulfilling the obligation of marriage, he only obeyed the wishes of his parents to embrace his grandson.
Xu Zhimo turned all his helplessness towards arranged marriages into neglect of this innocent bride
Xu Zhimo left home to study as soon as she got married.
In fact, she was with Xu Zhimo for five years before Zhang Zhimo went to Europe in 1920. The time is not more than four months.
And in these four months, "Xu Zhimo never looked at me directly, his eyes just passed me, as if I didn't exist."
"Perhaps, the time we spend together is so limited that we can't be as affectionate as other couples." She must have such thoughts about marriage, who is still looking forward to marriage.
So she traveled all the way to Marseille, France , hoping to get along with the long-term happiness that she should have.
But before she even stood on the ground in Europe, she had heard the sound of the collapse of the dream.
"I was leaning on the tail deck, waiting impatiently to get ashore, and then I saw Xu Zhimo standing in the crowd looking around.
, at this time my heart was cold. He is wearing a long and thin black fur coat and a white silk scarf around his neck.
Although I have never seen him in a suit, I know it is him.
I can tell his attitude at a glance, and I can't get it wrong, because he is the only one who shows the expression that he doesn't want to get there."
no Longing for his wife's eagerness and the joy of reuniting after a long absence, Zhang Youyi can clearly see from his expression that in fact, he is an unpopular person.
The journey did not make her tired, but it was such a look that made her heart cold.
Xu Zhimo took Zhang Youyi around the French Cao Zhang and immediately flew back to England.
On the plane from Paris Fei Lun, Zhang Youyi was sick and vomiting, Xu Zhimo turned her head away, sneered at her, changed time and space, but couldn't change the deep-rooted concept, he didn't seem to have a trace of her. Change.
No matter how unwilling Xu Zhimo is, Zhang Youyi's arrival forced him to accept the role of husband.
An old Chinese traditional marriage always makes him feel awkward. He didn't give her any chance to express herself at all. He didn't like her, from head to toe, thoroughly.
"I can't let Xu Zhimo know who I am, he doesn't talk to me at all... When I am with my husband, the situation is always: "What do you know?, can you say What? "
She knows that she is actually far from pleasing a man who doesn’t even bother to know her to try.
Finally, these are the strongest fortresses in Zhang Youyi’s view. All of them collapsed when Xu Zhimo found their soul mate.
Xu Zhimo proposed to restore her free body, but at this time, Zhang Youyi was pregnant, but Xu Zhimo asked her to have her child knocked out.
A new life coming from a loveless marriage is just a burden in his father's eyes.
When Zhang Youyi didn't know how to face such a cruel and ruthless man who was completely dependent on him, Xu Zhimo actually left his wife who was pregnant with Liujia and traveled around the world.
No matter how frightened and sad she is, she can't restore this man's heart. Maybe she never got a trace of his sincerity.
On February 24, 1922, Zhang Youyi's second child was born in Berlin. She called Xu Zhimo to sign the divorce agreement , and gave him the freedom he dreamed of.
Xu Zhimo happily thanked Zhang Youyi, fearing to escape from Zhang Youyi's life, leaving her alone.
When she thought she could rely on a man for her life to leave, she eagerly decided.
22-year-old Zhang Youyi knows that no matter how sad, life must continue.
With a broken heart, Zhang Youyi lives hard in Germany. She has experienced the most tragic experience in her life. The so-called wandering in a foreign land is nothing at all.
Before going to Germany, she was afraid of everything; after arriving in Germany, she became fearless.
She studied while working, and entered Pestalozzi College, specializing in early childhood education.Her serious life philosophy fits the rigorous work style of the Germans, and she gradually found confidence in a foreign country.
Five years later, Zhang Youyi, who speaks fluent German, worked as a German teacher at Soochow University , and became the vice president of Shanghai Women’s Commercial Bank under the support of the fourth brother of Zhang Jiaao and .
At the same time, the eighth brother Zhang Yujiu, Xu Zhimo and other four people opened a Yunshang clothing company on Jing'an Temple Road, and Zhang Youyi became the general manager of the company. Play.
Zhang Youyi's shrewdness, competence, and bravery are gradually revealed. She has found a supporting point in life. She raised her head confidently and, relying on strength and hard work, broke into a career beyond the reach of men.
When she appeared in front of Xu Zhimo with the face of a capable modern woman, the "country bun" in Xu Zhimo's eyes bloomed with a belated but exceptionally eye-catching charm.
He once praised: "(Zhang Youyi) is an ambitious and courageous woman. She has made a lot of progress in the past two years, her independent pace has been firmly established, and her thinking has a channel... She is now I’m not afraid of anything.’ In the future, I’m going to throw a few bombs and startle the Chinese society. Watch it!” Regardless of her husband’s contempt, she does not complain about her husband’s negligence. She has hibernated into a humble and forbearing posture, but she cannot keep her husband’s heart.
When she humblely begged for love, he never saw her buried cheek clearly; when she raised her head proudly, he could no longer conceal the dazzling light.
From then on, he saw her true value, and he even proudly said "Proud of her".
Fate is really ironic, and it is really twists and turns. When she found herself, Zhang Youyi had lost too much.
If she could understand these principles earlier, could she have a different life? Youth can no longer be restored. Fortunately, after missing something, she still found herself and found happiness .
In 1953, Zhang Youyi finally remarried and married his neighbor, Su Jizhi, a Chinese medicine practitioner, and spent 18 years together.
There is not much description of this Doctor Su in relevant historical materials, but it can be guessed that he should be a man with a different personality than Xu Zhimo.
Zhang Youyi, who has experienced many years of experience, knows that only a man who is gentle and elegant and knows how to appreciate himself is worth entrusting for life.
Marriage requires two people to appreciate each other, otherwise no matter how much you give and forbearance, you won’t be able to get love.
Zhang Youyi once told her grand niece Zhang Bangmei a past that has been in the dust for more than half a century: "I have never said'I love you' to anyone in my life.If taking care of Xu Zhimo and his family is called love, then I probably love him.
Among the few women he met in his life, maybe I love him the most.
It is futile to love him in a way that the other party does not buy it.
Zhang Youyi, a meek and filial woman, in the eyes of a lively, elegant, passionate poet, is dull, stiff and boring.
In love, people tend to take good care of those they love, and are extremely cruel to those they don’t love.
In many unhappy marriages, it is not because the wife is not good enough or the husband is not considerate.
For your wife, it's not that you wash your clothes more cleanly and iron more neatly, and he will love you more. Being good at housework is just one of the ability to make marriage happy, let yourself Getting better and being appreciated by each other is also the guarantee of a happy marriage.
To have the first ideal higher than love, to find a better self is the way out for love, and the way out for yourself.
Zhang Youyi before the age of 22 could hardly find any characteristics in Xu Zhimo's eyes, but after 22 years old, she used her achievements to show her unique value.
She is no longer a parasite or accessory, she is a constructive member of society, so her face is unique and public, beautiful and clear.
Zhang Youyi completed a Phoenix Nirvana with her own wisdom.
She also used her own experience to tell the world that a woman grows up as an epic and how a woman can demonstrate her own value.
For women, the essential qualities are not beauty and charm, but ability, courage, and the courage to turn will into action.
A woman's self-confidence comes from great or small achievements after struggle.
The nature of human beings is a social animal. Humans need to be accompanied, have ethnic identity, and have spiritual communication in order to feel safe, fulfilled and happy.
If a woman does not start her own business, she will cut off her chances of effective communication with the outside world, and will not be recognized by others. In the long run, natural law will feel lonely and lost.
Only through hard sweat, women will become stronger and more confident after making choices, failures, and hard work.
Zhang Youyi was finally able to break through the cocoon and become a butterfly. She turned all the bitterness and sorrow in life into a driving force for progress. In the end, she won the respect of the world.
She said: In this life, there should be nothing to be afraid of. Such self-confidence is not caused by the departure of a man or the failure of any relationship.
In the photos when she was young, her eyes were full of anticipation and anxiety about the unknown.
And in one of her middle-aged photos, you can clearly see the firmness in her eyes, and she has a hint of shrewd insight into this complex world at all times.
This is the basis for a woman to settle down-no one can hurt herself without permission.
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