1. My girlfriend asked me, "Do you know what I want to eat now?" "I don't know." She slapped her and said, "I don't know why I didn't ask?" 2. Ideals are balloons, but reality is shot put. 3. In the coffee shop, I chatted with a girl: "Can you borrow your phone? I want to use my

1. My girlfriend asked me, "Do you know what I want to eat now?"

"I don't know."

She slapped her in the face and said, "I don't know why don't you ask?"

2. Ideal is a balloon, but the reality is shot put .

3. In the coffee shop, I chatted with a girl: "Can you borrow your phone? I want to use my power bank to charge your phone."

4. I have been under great pressure recently and have not been in a good mood. I have entered a low state. I often have insomnia, anxiety, and become shy and autistic. I hope that my friends I see can invite me out for dinner, sing, watch movies, drink coffee, etc., and enlighten me.

If you can, give me some US dollars, gold bars , silver ingot , mutton fat jade , etc. Use love and tolerance to let me get out of my closed heart, so that my illness can be cured, and let me know that there is still true love in the world.

5. Your eyes will bend into a bridge with a smile. Question: Is it Zhaozhou Bridge or Luding Bridge?

Solution: Luding Bridge is an iron cable bridge, the quadratic term coefficient of is greater than 0, and it is bent downward, which does not meet the "laugh" in the question; while Zhaozhou Bridge is a stone arch bridge, a0, which meets the question. Therefore, the answer is: Zhaozhou Bridge.

6. I planned to buy a diamond ring to propose to my girlfriend, but I had no money, so I tried to discuss with her: "Can you give me some time?"

"I am willing to wait for you!"

"When I find a girlfriend who doesn't have a diamond ring, we will break up."

7. Prenatal education is still very useful. When my wife was pregnant, I often played various symphony on my phone. After my son was born, he learned to play with his mobile phone at a very young age.

8. Seeing the goddess I like, she walked over and blindfolded her eyes: "Guess who am I?"

"XXX?"

"Awesome, then guess what I want to do!"

"How do I know, please let me go!" The goddess said with a little coquettish attitude.

"Then I'll give you a reminder, are you waiting for the last bus?"

"Yeah!"

"That's right." So I moved my hand that covered her eyes: "Look at the front, I just drove away!" html l2

9. Programmers must be good people, because they stay in front of the computer every day, staring at the bug and asking themselves: "What's wrong with me again... ."

10. I received a drifting bottle passed by an anonymous netizen, which said: Recently, has lost a lot of money in gold . Is there any expert to give me some advice?

I replied truthfully: I have only fried soybeans, broad beans, peanuts, and melon seeds. . . I never stir-fry what I can't eat.

11. There was once a sincere love in front of me, and I cherish it very much. I regretted it when I lost it... I cherish it for nothing, and I lost it.

12. There are actually many ways to please girls. Since you are not handsome enough, your temperament has not settled down, and you are too busy with your work and can't even take time to spend more time with her. Then it's better to make more money and try a different girlfriend.

13. Some women think that they are good-looking and can control men at will. They think that they make mistakes and act cute and innocent can make men ignore them. They think that men can never guess their little tricks. . . Haha, as a man, I just want to tell these women one thing: You are right!

14. Details can show the essence of things: when you withdraw money and get new money for consecutive numbers, it means that the price is about to rise; when your deskmate who usually likes to chat suddenly sits upright, it means that the head teacher is peeping outside the window; when everyone doesn't speak after dinner, it means that it's time to check out; when you think the person you like also like you, it means that you are thinking too much.

15. Today is Sunday again, sitting alone in a car worth tens of millions, but there is no feeling of happiness at all. The driver is driving all the way, and I have no intention of enjoying the scenery along the way, with a lot of thoughts and a lot of thoughts.

was thinking, and looked up: The subway has passed the station again.

16. Xiao Ming A handful of sour jujubes was stuffed into his pocket. He was bored in class, so he started eating jujubes.

The teacher found out, walked to him, reached out to him, and then, he. . . He spitted the date pit into the teacher's hand.

17. After school, my son wanted to memorize ancient poems. Seeing that he was excited, I asked him to recite one. He said in a very good manner: Panasonic asked the boy, and Master said that he would go to collect herbs. Died in this mountain, the clouds were deep and I didn’t know where it was.

18. I have been single for many years. Last night, I ate barbecue on the roadside after get off work. After I finished eating, I called the boss lady to check out. . .

The boss lady was busy and asked the waiter to collect it. The waiter asked who it was?

The boss lady replied: Old customer, that’s the only one in winter and summer!

19. Who would have thought that the quantifier of mist turned out to be the head.

20. People always make mistakes, just like eating sesame , where can you not lose your sesame cake?

(non-original, reprinted from the vx official account, please call me Xiangjie)