1. I have a habit of taking off my vest at home. Before going out, I forgot to pull the two shoulder straps to my waist without taking them off, so I hurriedly put on a dress and went shopping. I was chatting happily with my best friend all the way, when the evil little vest sudd

1. I have a habit of taking off my vest at home. Before going out, I forgot to only pull the two shoulder straps to my waist without taking them off, so I hurriedly put on a dress and went shopping. I was chatting happily with my best friend all the way, when the evil little vest suddenly fell out of my waist without any warning and wrapped around my ankles and feet. She fell down gorgeously... my best friend was so shocked that she even dropped her milk tea. : "Holy shit, this is the first time in my life that I've seen someone fucked by their own underwear!"

2, blind date girl: Do you have a house?

Male: I don’t have one, but my son has more than a dozen villas.

Female: Do you have a car?

Male: I don’t have one, but my son’s car can fill half of the parking lot.

Female: What do you do all day long, and how much is your monthly income? Male: Hey, I don’t have much work. I just work from dawn to dusk counting the pocket money my son gave me.

Female: Look, do you have any requirements for me?

male: I am a relatively simple person, as long as you give me a son like this.

female: Get out!

3. Grandpa goes to the park to play swordsmanship every morning, but he always stays alone in the corner. Later I found out that his swordsmanship is very weird. Once when he was playing in the sword squadron, he stabbed two people in one set of moves. Old lady's ass.

4. I was walking on campus today when a girl suddenly came up to me and asked me: Will you be my boyfriend? Brother was stunned, he had never seen this girl before, and he thought he was not handsome enough to be so direct. At this time the girl asked impatiently: Are you willing? Considering the girl's self-esteem, the brother solemnly replied: I am willing. This is when the girl picked up the phone and yelled: Did you hear that? I am not wanted by anyone! ! She left as gently as she came, leaving only my brother dumbfounded.

5. "I just saw a shooting star!" After listening, I immediately lay down by the window and stared at the starry sky, hoping to get a chance to make a wish. Waiting and waiting, waiting and waiting... Just when my eyelids were about to fight, suddenly, there was a bright light in front of my eyes. Before I could say the word "meteor", I swallowed it alive and said, "Who is upstairs? It's unethical to throw cigarette butts down!

6, my wife is a novice driver, and two people came from the opposite direction while driving along a country road without street lights. The headlights were super bright, so she flashed the high beams, but the other party was unmoved. The wife wondered if she had encountered a high-beam dog, so she started flashing the headlights crazily... Then the wife got closer. I found that the other party was two motorcycles traveling side by side. The driver had a ferocious expression on his face as he was speeding forward while yelling: What are you doing, you're crazy