[Humorous Joke] I have lost weight recently. I went out for a run last night. I was hungry after just two steps. I ate one fried rice noodles and 10 mutton skewers. It was a bit spicy after eating, so I bought a bottle of mineral water! After eating I continued running, but my st

[humorous joke] I have lost weight recently. I went out for a run last night. I was hungry after just two steps. I ate one stir-fried noodles and 10 mutton skewers . It was a bit spicy after eating, so I bought a bottle of mineral water. Water! After eating, I continued to run. As a result, I felt a stomachache after just two steps, and hurriedly ran into the bathroom of a hotel. After I came out, the hotel waiter saw me taking a bottle of water from the bathroom, and something was wrong in his eyes! I was afraid that everyone would think wrongly, so I opened it and took a sip! Now it was better, everyone looked at me even more wrongly. !

[Humorous Joke] I am a courier boy. I deliver couriers diligently every day, with a monthly salary of 8,000 yuan. When I got home after delivering 250 orders today, my wife was lying on the sofa watching TV. Wife: "It's so boring. Let's do something good..." I asked excitedly: "What good thing can we do?" Wife: "I'll buy something online, and then you can deliver it to me, so you can earn more." Money! ”

[Humorous joke] When my brother-in-law went to the supermarket to buy fruit for his younger siblings, he bought a very sharp multifunctional fruit peeler. Every time her siblings quarreled with her, her brother-in-law would go to the kitchen to polish the fruit knife without saying a word. The younger siblings were so scared that a civil war ended before it officially started. Once, I couldn't help but ask my younger siblings: Do my brothers really dare to chop you? The younger brother and sister said: How is that possible? I am afraid that he will commit suicide.

[Humorous Joke] The boss of the company has a son-in-law relationship with , the HR manager . Early this morning, the manager called him to complain. The boss asked in confusion: "What's wrong with you? Are you still crying like this?" Then the manager replied: "Dad, my wife and I had an argument again last night." The boss asked: "Is it normal to argue? As for crying Is it like this?" He cried and said: "Of course it was not just a quarrel, she also started to slap me, and now I can't even enter the company door, and the face-scanning attendance machine can no longer recognize my face. ! "

[Humorous Joke] After graduating from college, I was introduced to a very light job in a company. Unexpectedly, within a month, a beautiful female colleague came. Everyone thought she was beautiful, but I was the only one who noticed the slightest flaw in her. During lunch, she sat next to me, and I asked softly: Is that a wig on your head? The female colleague asked me in surprise: Yes, how did you see it? There are so many people in the barber shop that you can’t tell. Me: It’s true that you can’t tell, but you forgot to take the trademark off...

[Humorous joke] A man secretly ate a box of rice cakes while his wife was not at home. He was found out at night and was punished by kneeling down for three days. Only then was he allowed to sleep. The next day, the more he thought about it, the more he couldn't figure it out, so he went to the street to find a gentleman to figure it out for him. The gentleman asked: "How much is your Geng?" He replied: "I didn't kneel for long, only until the third watch." The gentleman explained: "I'm asking you how old you are?" He said: "How many boxes do I dare to steal? I only ate one box. "

[Humorous joke] I have never been on a blind date, but I went on a blind date with a friend. It was one night when I encouraged Xiao Feifei to accompany her to meet a tall and handsome boy. After the meeting, Xiao Feifei was quite shy. I was the one showing off my humor and eloquence throughout the whole process. Who is not a humorous and confident girl? Like it? As expected, the conversation was quite speculative (it was done by Yue Zu), and Xiao Feifei was forgotten. Of course, there was no result in the end! Facepalm...

[Humorous Joke] After getting engaged to my girlfriend, my girlfriend and I bought a soft sleeper home and prepared to get the certificate. My girlfriend bought a lower berth and mine was an upper berth. I got on the bus. Because I am a big smoker, I have to get off the bus every time I arrive at the station to take a puff. So I wanted to sleep in the lower bunk, but she didn't want to sleep in the upper bunk either, so we started discussing. The discussion was fruitless, so I just lay down on the bunk and couldn't get up. My girlfriend left angrily and helplessly. I was lying on the bunk and playing with my mobile phone leisurely. Suddenly two policemen pulled me up. I was shocked.My girlfriend flashed up behind the police officer and pointed at me and said, "That's him, he took my position and pushed me!" No matter how I explained, my girlfriend insisted that she didn’t recognize me, and I was taken to the police room to reflect for half an hour.

[Humorous Joke] My brother-in-law saw me alone, so he introduced me to a girl. The girl is quite pretty, and it can be seen that she is a girl who likes to dress up very much. During the chat, she kept praising me for my good foundation. The only shortcoming was that I didn't know how to dress up and was a bit rustic. So we started chatting about how to match clothes, and finally he took me directly to the mall. I chose a match for me in a store and tried on several outfits. When I saw the price, I thought it was a bit expensive and was reluctant to buy it. The girl seemed to have guessed what I was thinking. She patted me on the shoulder and said: Don't worry, I'll give you employee wages, so don't worry and buy it!

【Humorous Joke】One night I fell ill and felt like vomiting and kept vomiting. At that time, we were poor and had no cars. We had to take a taxi to the hospital and hail a car on the road. There were many cars and taxis on the road, but there were no cars. We stayed in the wind for more than half an hour and finally discovered the reason. One of our friends was wearing all black, the other was wearing all white, and there was me in the middle...

[Humorous joke] My boyfriend accidentally sprained his foot on the way to buy me fried chicken. I feel very guilty. I have been serving him delicious food and drinks for the past half month~ I can finally go out today. As soon as I walked to the park, an old man came over and asked him: Young man, can you still play shuttlecock? I endured my dissatisfaction and told him :Uncle, what did you say? He just recovered from his ankle sprain, how could he kick the shuttlecock ! Uncle: I know, that day we were playing shuttlecock, and he came over and insisted on getting involved, so he sprained himself!

[Humorous Joke] I often go on business trips after work. The female boss of our company saw that I was working so hard, so she bought me a BMW Q7 for me to travel around. I was a little anxious when I came back from a business trip yesterday, but on the way back, there was a nail in the tire. Go to the repair shop and ask the master to repair the spare tire and put it on. The master checked it and said: Your spare tire is about four or five years old. Although it has not been used, it is too old to be used. I thought it was funny, so I shared this with my long-time goddess with whom I had gotten along well in the past few years to make her happy. She laughed and blocked me.

[Humorous Joke] I was playing a game, and my wife came over to act like a baby and asked me to spray her with hydrating spray. While I was playing the game, I took the spray and sprayed it hard on her face. After spraying, I handed the spray back to my wife, but she didn’t come out. I felt something was wrong. I raised my head and saw that my wife’s eyes were red and she was rubbing them. I felt heartbroken and said, “It’s just such a small thing. Look how moved you are!” My wife picked up the spray in her hand and sprayed it hard into my eyes. While spraying, she said: Yes, I am touched! This is how you moved me, and I will move you too!

[Humorous Joke] Last night, my mother-in-law called my wife to go back to her parents’ house for dinner. She said she wouldn’t eat because she wanted to lose weight! The mother-in-law said, "That won't work. How can I have the strength to lose weight if I don't have enough to eat!" After using various tricks, the wife finally agreed to go back for dinner! When I got home, I found that the meal was almost finished. My wife said: I won’t eat anymore, I’m really not hungry! The mother-in-law said: Eat two bites, just take two bites! So I sat down and drank some porridge. The mother-in-law said with satisfaction: This is right! If you don’t eat at all, I’m embarrassed to ask you to wash the dishes!

[Humorous joke] The female manager used her husband’s bank card to buy a 30,000 yuan bag, but her husband kicked her out. Seeing that she had no place to live, I kindly took her in. After I got home from get off work last night, I suddenly discovered a secret of the female manager. It turns out that the shampoo at home was not used up all the time, but she kept adding water to it, and she still disliked the smell of my hair. I used to be the most popular person in our company, but recently no woman dared to approach me.When he saw me, he lowered his head and acted shy. It turned out that he disliked me. I was so heartbroken and angry!

[Humorous Joke] The young man chased the girl hard, but the girl refused and asked her to jump into the lake again, but she didn't jump. The young man said she had no integrity and kicked her into the lake... The girl shouted for help: "I can't swim, if you save me I will marry you when I come up!" The young man smiled slightly, showing a proud look, slowly took off his clothes, got into the water, and swam towards the girl. The girl shouted: "Quick! Quick! I've got water!" The young man swam over, circled her three times, and sneered: "Do you think I will still trust you? I just want to see you drinking water up close. !

[Humorous Joke] When I was a child, I liked jumping around, so in order to let me disperse the extra energy, my dad asked me to jump and jump rope two hundred times when I was 6 years old. I could do 50 when I was 10 years old. Pull-ups . When I was in the third grade of junior high school, I could do 200 push-ups at a time. Now that I am working, I am very grateful to my dad for his guidance. Now I am moving bricks on the construction site. I have not found anyone better than me. Awesome!

[Humorous Joke] At noon, there was a very cute kid looking at me timidly with a math paper. I smiled at him and he handed me the math paper. I was a little embarrassed to believe me so much, and thought to myself: You can’t just teach others randomly! So I told him sincerely: “Although my sister is older than you, she doesn’t know how to do it! The kid smiled at me and said, "I know you can't do it. I just want to ask if you can make a copy for me?" "I...

[Humorous Joke] A female colleague in the company fell in love with me and recently bought me breakfast every day. But I had no feelings for her, so I asked directly: "What do you like about me?" Female colleague: “Do you remember when I came to the company wearing a miniskirt a few days ago?” "I thought for a while and said: "I have an impression. "The female colleague said embarrassedly: "You had a nosebleed when you saw me that day. Do you know, you are the first boy to have a nosebleed after seeing me wearing a miniskirt! After hearing this, I said helplessly: "Do you believe me when I said I got angry a few days ago?" "

[Humorous Joke] My brother-in-law came to my house for dinner, and the air conditioner happened to be broken. He took off his shirt because he was afraid of sweating due to the heat. My son stared at his brother-in-law for a long time, and suddenly shouted: Auntie, you can't marry him. ! The sister asked in confusion: You silly boy, why do you say that? The son pointed to the scar on his brother-in-law’s belly and said: Look, he had a caesarean section and gave birth to a baby. Are you willing to be a stepmother? He lay down and said: Baby, the scar on my belly is from the appendicitis surgery!

[Humorous joke] When I was calculating expenses at home after get off work in the evening, my wife sat across from me and started nagging me, saying that the electricity bill was too high this month. One moment he said that the water bill was overdue this month, and the next moment he said that the whole family must save money. Finally, after nagging him, he gave me a push and reminded me: "Did you hear that? I just said so much, in short..." My wife. With this sudden push, I pressed the wrong button on the calculator, and heard a loud electronic mezzo-soprano continue: "Equal to zero. "My wife was so angry that her mouth was filled with smoke and she glared at me. My son who was doing his homework at the side was already smiling!