1. The owner of the optical shop teaches the new clerk how to give prices to customers. "When he asks you how much you want, you answer '600 yuan.' If he doesn't blink, you continue: 'This is just the price of the frame, the lenses are 400 yuan.' If he still doesn't blink, you He added: 'One piece'."
2. An eighty-year-old man is in good health. Someone asked him the secret of his health. He said: Every time my wife quarrels with me, I go out for a walk. I have been walking almost every day for fifty years.
3. Last month I earned 60,000 yuan in commission from delivering food. After get off work, I took my wife’s sister to eat crayfish. While we were enjoying our meal, a young man hit me on the head with a wine bottle, and then yelled at my sister, "Who is this man?" After explaining it later, he turned out to be my sister-in-law's boyfriend, so he sat down. eat together. No one spoke. In order to break the embarrassment, I said: "It's okay. Let's drink first and then talk after you finish." Her boyfriend shouted: "Boss, another box of beer, no wine."
4. My cousin got married less than three days ago. I got divorced and vowed to get married as soon as possible. My cousin came back from her blind date today and her face was blue with anger! I asked what happened? It turned out that the two of them went to eat after shopping. The man looked at the menu for a long time and finally ordered only one tomato and scrambled eggs . My cousin asked tentatively: Is it enough for us to eat just one tomato and scrambled egg? The man hesitated for a moment, then ordered another plate of scrambled eggs with tomatoes, and said: You are 38 years old and divorced, so it would be nice to eat scrambled eggs with tomatoes for you on a blind date!
5. When I was a freshman, a Hainanese boy chased a girl in our dormitory. They went out together to buy some fruit. The girl wanted to eat bananas, but bananas cost four yuan a pound. The guy from Hainan said that because they are so expensive, all our bananas are for pigs to eat! The angry girl turned around and left. I want to know, boy, have you found a girlfriend now?
6. While my mother was on the toilet, she turned on her mobile phone and recharged 3,000 yuan into the game. My mother was very angry when she found out, and she and my father teamed up to beat me up. I ran away from home crying. With nowhere to go, I planned to go to my grandma’s house, but there was no one there and the yard was locked. When I climbed over the wall, my foot slipped and I fell into the yard. I grinned and couldn't move. Grandma's native dog tilted its head and looked at me for a long time, and I looked at it too. Then it ran under the wall and started digging, picked up a treasured bone, picked it up, and threw it in front of me while shaking its head!
7. Brother: "Where are you? Are you okay on Sunday?"
Me: "Maybe something is going on or maybe it's okay, what's wrong?"
Brother: "On Sunday, there is a beautiful woman coming to your place. How about you spend the day with her?"
Me: "Okay! I will be fine on Sunday!"
So on Sunday, my brother brought his six-year-old daughter to my place, and then went out to do errands. . . .
