Funny joke: I don’t have a complete tone, so I have to sing. Isn’t this embarrassing me?

1. Today, I took my girlfriend to see my parents. I quarreled with my girlfriend during dinner. My girlfriend pinched my waist and was seen by my parents. Then he slapped me on the head and said to my girlfriend: It’s useless to pinch like that. Just work.

2. I just want to say: Don't stop me, I won't live anymore. . . Mom: Son, I bought you some cold medicine. Son: Mom, I don't have a cold. Mom: There is a piece of paper on the bedside for wiping the nose. I said that I don’t have a cold. Remember to take the medicine on time. Son:…………

3. I dropped Mom~, it was too cold, passing by a shop , I saw the words on the door: 50 yuan for a mink, 20 yuan for a down jacket, 10 yuan for a summer dress, 5 yuan for a children's wear... I walked in and picked three down jackets and two mink furs, and threw them to the proprietress. No need to look for 200 yuan, just leave! The proprietress was crazy, riding a big broken bicycle with a big brick in her hand and screaming: You stop me, this is a dry cleaner...

4. Yesterday, my girlfriend’s birthday, I bought cake again, and Buying gifts. But she was still dissatisfied. She had to ask me to sing to her. My five-tone tone is not complete. Isn't that difficult for me~ My girlfriend was staring at the stars, and I couldn't let her down, so I cleared my throat and started singing: In 1937, the devil entered the Central Plains... ... if you have something to say, don't slap your face, you can't sing

5. At a party, I was deeply fascinated by a beautiful woman, after a week of chasing Entangled, she finally agreed to be my girlfriend. One day, the two of them were walking on the street and just met my brother. I stepped forward to introduce him. After that, my girlfriend asked me: Is your brother older or yours older? . . . . , This IQ, hey! Decided to break up.

6. Tell me how many people understand it! A male friend likes to use "Oh" to reply to me in WeChat chat. Once I got my mind and replied a "No" in the spirit of connotation. Then he refreshed his impression of me...

7. The manager, the girls who sang in the private room all ran away, what do you think? "You TM are sick, we are not a conservatory, the guest is out of tune and we have a hairy relationship"

8. Cousin gave birth,It is said to be a daughter. My home is very close to the hospital. My grandmother and mother are going to see the children, and I have to go with them. Grandma grabbed me and said: Pepper, don’t go, newborn baby, whoever I see at first sight will be like someone...

9. Once, I was sitting in my sister’s car, The little nephew sits next to me. I saw him biting his finger, so I hit his little hand as a warning. A few days later, I took my sister’s car again and found that my nephew was going to bite his finger again. He saw me aim at him, hesitated for a while, then stretched out his finger and said to me with a pleasing expression: "Uncle, do you want to eat?" The mother pointed to the Confucius in the temple and said to her son: "This is Master Kong, who can bless you to enter the university, go and bye." Then the little boy walked up to the front seriously and waved to Confucius. "Goodbye." I laughed embarrassedly as if seeing Confucius.