The counselor tells you that if the husband cheated, should he forgive or divorce?

remembers that when he first studied Satya Family Therapy, the teacher said: There are more than three solutions for everything. At the same time, Satya Family Therapy described a particularly great coping posture—a consistent posture, which means that when communicating or making decisions, consider not only oneself, others, but also the situation. In addition, Satya Family Therapy also tells us that for everything, its appearance is just the tip of the iceberg. People's feelings, cognitions, beliefs, and expectations behind the incident are more worth exploring and being seen, only clearer. Recognizing your own iceberg and the iceberg of others, and combining it with the situation at the time, may be able to arrive at an action and decision that may be called the best in the current situation.

Husband has cheated and there are children in the family. This is the current situation that is known, and the unknown situation is also important, such as your financial ability, whether you have the ability to raise children alone, etc. Forgiveness or divorce is a way of acting and coping. It may be unrealistic to infer a person's best coping style or action from a situation.

In the situation of husband cheating, we can infer that there must be some problems in the relationship between husband and wife, and the emotional needs they put on each other must be unsatisfied (Of course, it does not rule out that the man pretends to be good to the woman but still cheats Happening). Regarding the unsatisfied emotional expectation, it is still worth to explore what kind of unsatisfied counterpart is and what kind of expectation oneself is, whether there is a morbid part in it, and whether there are unreasonable elements, if it is morbid Reasonable, is it adjustable?

and the situation of derailment must also have a new construction for the inner iceberg of both men and women. Unresolved relationship problems plus new derailment issues make marriages face a more complicated and difficult situation. What is the problem behind the man’s derailment? Is this man’s retaliation for his insatiable emotional needs, or his lack of personality? What is the woman's reflection on the derailed behavior? What kind of value system has shaken you? Whether the trust in your heart's emotional loyalty has collapsed? If you really feel that your heart can't cross this red line, how much is it for yourself to deal with life and parenting problems alone in the future Your sense of strength and confidence?

All these issues are worthy of our in-depth exploration and sorting out. Only then may we be able to make a choice that is most suitable for the current situation. At the same time, I also want to say that intimacy is not only black and white love and separation, most marriages are between the two, and the gray area in between is the real chicken feather. The essential characteristics of a misty marriage!