#头头creationchallenge# Recently, in Teacher Hu’s live broadcast room, many female friends came for marriage consultation. Then Teacher Hu summarized it. I found that these problems all have one thing in common, that is, more and more women don’t understand why men have a cold atti

The first one is called over-reliance

Before, I had a male student who described some details of his marriage to me. He told me that every time he was in a meeting or busy and not looking at his phone, he would just open it and there would be more than a dozen calls and countless messages.

even his friend, his sister, sent him a message asking: What did you do just now? Your wife keeps looking for you.

Then I asked him, I said, do you feel well? You see your wife is so clingy to you and cares so much about you. She says I feel bad.

First of all, I feel very annoyed. I feel that I am not trusted. . You see, I haven’t replied to your message for a while, and you feel like I am doing something shameful.

Another aspect is that he will feel particularly embarrassed. This matter at home is known to the whole world. You see, this is how a man really feels.

Then many of our sisters will indeed make such mistakes in their own marriages. Why are you so worried about his every move? Because you are extremely dependent on this person and emotionally dependent on this person, you will choose to control his behavior.

So this is the reason why a man’s attitude towards you changes. He can still accept your concern at first, but after repeating it many times, his attitude will become more and more perfunctory and impatient.

For example, if he is on a business trip recently and you tell him: "When you arrive, you must call me to let me know that you have arrived safely." And what will he choose not to call you?

You asked him why? He said I forgot, did he really forget? Not necessarily, men are using this kind of neglect to get rid of your control over him, which means that you make him feel very depressed..

What is the second error called? It's called overly underestimating yourself.

Once you get married, where do you position yourself? A good wife, a good mother, my own needs, my own life plan, all come last.

Just like when I was on the phone two days ago, a sister said: "I have prepared everything for my husband from top to bottom, inside and out." She sounded very proud.

But what is the overtone that Teacher Hu heard? It means that you don't care about your own feelings at all, and you stop developing your career as soon as you get married, because you think that as long as my husband can make money, it doesn't matter if you have poor food or clothing.

I want to ensure my child's nutrition and health. In order for my child to study well, I simply quit my job and stay with him at home full time.

After you make these sacrifices, let me tell you, you are just impressing yourself, why? Your value is constantly being devalued, so what will happen to men? Your will not be taken seriously.

And his development is getting better and better. When he looks back at you, you don't put on makeup every day, and you don't make money. You only cook and take care of the children. He doesn't think you are valuable.

So these two mistakes have caused your current relationship to be unbalanced. So if you want to maintain a long-term relationship, you must have a place to check and balance the other party .

In other words, there must be something about you that convinces men. So based on our analysis just now, what adjustments can you make?

First, you have to improve your ability to provide this kind of emotional value

Just like the dependence we just talked about, if you are too strong in this relationship, then men will not feel the weakness and weakness of women from you.

And if you learn to give this man a sense of space, directly express your inner insecurity, and make this man willingly report his itinerary to you, then the relationship between you will become harmonious.

So from now on, must learn to stop such overly strong expressions and improve some of its communication skills .

What is the second thing that needs to be changed? That is, you have to learn to invest in yourself

To put it bluntly, after getting married, your life order, your time allocation, and energy allocation must be balanced.

No matter what, you cannot give up your own personal development just because you have become a wife or a mother. As we just analyzed, you can’t lose your job. If you have hobbies and connections, don’t lose them either.

When you are always in a state of development and growth, what will happen to a man? A sense of crisis means that he will want to catch you in turn, and he will become dependent on you.