How many people have been harmed by self-motivated giving? Many people die without knowing why. So what is self-impressed giving? How can we avoid it? First, let us first understand what self-impressed giving is.

How many people have been harmed by self-motivated giving ? Many people die without knowing why.

So what is self-motivated giving? How can we avoid it?

First of all, let us first understand what self-motivated giving is.

In a noodle shop, a mother and daughter had a dispute over a bowl of noodles. The reason was this. The noodles in this restaurant were divided into regular and deluxe versions. A bowl of regular noodles only cost 7 yuan, while a bowl of deluxe noodles cost 25 yuan. Mom was reluctant to eat the deluxe version, so she I ordered a bowl of noodles that cost 7 yuan, and ordered a bowl of noodles that cost 25 yuan for my daughter. While eating noodles, my mother said to her daughter, "You have to study hard in the future. Normally, my mother is not willing to eat a bowl of noodles that costs 7 yuan. Now I came to the restaurant with you and ordered a bowl of noodles that cost 7 yuan." Then the mother said a lot, how can she do it for her daughter? To pay, the daughter just ate the noodles silently at first, but later, the daughter said to her mother, "Mom, I didn't force you to eat a bowl of noodles that cost 7 yuan, and I didn't force you to buy me a bowl of noodles that cost 25 yuan. Why do you always do this? It's not like you can't afford a bowl of noodles for 25 yuan, so why do you have to force yourself to do this? You're done. "I'm not happy yet." These words of the daughter completely angered the mother, and then the mother said to the daughter, "Why are you so ungrateful? The family gives you all the good things. Your father and I are usually reluctant to eat or wear, but you are still so dissatisfied..." When she said this, her daughter did not finish the noodles, stood up angrily, and walked out of the noodle shop. When you see this scene, does it feel very familiar? Do you and your children often have similar conversations? The mother in

is a typical self-motivated giving. This is also a mistake made by many Chinese parents. Parents leave the best to their children, but they don’t know that these good things are what their children really want? And all the time, you want to ask for things from your children, and think about your children getting something in return. Just like what the daughter said above, no one forces you to do these things, but after you voluntarily do these things, you have to force your children to repay you, and even some of these good things are imposed on your children. And many children live in the shadow of their parents' self-motivating contributions when they grow up.

Seeing this, I think you already understand what self-motivated giving is. This phenomenon will also appear in many bosses. Many bosses treat customers the same way. They receive different customers every day, and treat each customer the same way. Show what you think is your best side to customers, and when purchasing a series of products, you also feel that the products you choose must be liked by customers. Sometimes you feel that you treat customers very carefully, but once you encounter a difficult customer, you will feel particularly wronged. This is also a typical self-motivated giving.

Because you need to know that everyone’s personality is different, and everyone’s needs are also different. You think your contribution is very great, and you treat your customers very well, but the other party doesn’t feel the same way. Some of them even don’t feel how good you are to them. There is a saying that the direction is wrong and the efforts are in vain. The daughter and mother above, and many bosses and customers also have this kind of relationship. Strictly speaking, everyone Everyone has this kind of self-motivated giving behavior, but the saddest thing is that everyone still thinks that this behavior is correct. In fact, on the contrary, this kind of self-motivated giving plays the same role as moral kidnapping. Just like what the daughter said to her mother, no one asked her mother to do this, but the mother asked her daughter to be grateful while giving, and he himself felt that he had given enough, so his daughter should know how to be grateful. In fact, this kind of behavior is equivalent to putting a shackles on your daughter. And this shackles will follow her daughter for the rest of her life.

It is also a good quality for a person to have a grateful heart, but this kind of gratitude that is forced on others to ask for it and the true heart of gratitude seem to have changed in nature, and this kind of self-motivated giving, Not only does it make others suffer, but it also makes oneself more miserable. After all, I always feel that I am particularly wronged. In fact, if we all have a heart that does not ask for anything in return, then this kind of self-motivated giving will have no place. Then everyone's contribution can make themselves happy, and this kind of contribution will also make the other person feel happy.

In the TV series "天道", Ding Yuanying once said that if all the parents in the world raise their children so that they can be supported in old age, and all the children in the world take care of their parents to fulfill their filial piety, then parents and children will lose their original nature, because parents raising children or children taking care of their parents is a natural phenomenon of this world and the original nature of this world.