In the episode of "Feicheng", the host Meng Fei invited female guests on stage to "teach a lesson" to the male guests on the issue of "women's subtext". For example, when a girl says "Let's go", what does it mean? Female guest No. 20 on the
stage said: I said "you go", but the subtext was actually don't leave, come and coax me now. Female guest No. 3 on
said: Sometimes when I say "You go," maybe I want you to stay for a while and prove that you care about me. Another situation is that I really want to calm down.
Meng Fei asked: How to distinguish? Do you really want me to go or do you want to keep me? Female guest No.
3 explained: You can pretend to walk for a while, and then look back secretly and inadvertently to see what the girl's expression is. Female guest No. 12 on
said: There are only three things. If you say "I don't want it", I will tell you three "no's" firmly, that is no; if you just say it once or not very firmly, then it is I want it.
The male guest on the scene said with a vague understanding: I understand.
Teacher Zhang Zhenyu said: Do you really understand?
At this time, female guest No. 2 on the stage said: I think that speaking irony will become less and less as we grow older and mature. Because I feel that this kind of "doing" is unnecessary. But if a girl sometimes says such ironic words, it should be under the premise that she is sure that the boy knows that it is an irony, and then we will say it. Female guest No. 7 on
retorted: I don’t agree with what No. 2 said. In fact, speaking ironically is also a way of communication between male and female friends, and it does not mean what No. 2 said. For example, if I say "good night", then I am very happy and you can go to bed; but if I say "good night", then I am very angry; or if I only say "good night", it means that I am done.
Huang Lan teacher followed up what female guest No. 7 said and asked: If you are unhappy, you say "good night", but do you think the other party can understand the subtext behind this? Female guest No.
7 said: Because my usual chatting habit is to throw out everything I want to say at once. If I suddenly only send two words, he will definitely feel it.
Teacher Huang Lan said: In this case, you must have certain requirements for the emotional intelligence of the other party, and not every boy can understand it.
Teacher Zhang Zhenyu interjected: Not all women are like that.
Meng Fei then said: If everyone is a woman like this, shouldn’t the conversation be like this? You are angry, I am angry too, you say good night, and I say good night, then good night, who hasn’t had a good night yet? Otherwise, let’s sum it up, Zhenyu, as a straight man.
Teacher Zhang Zhenyu concluded: The first is to never rely on one condition to judge. For example, when saying "good night", or saying something, you need to consider the context to express whether you are happy or not. Happiness is one kind of expression, and unhappiness is another kind of expression. But in summary, you still need to understand the characteristics of that person.
Teacher Huang Lan gave her own advice: I personally agree with what female guest No. 2 said. Because girls often say, guess what a woman is thinking. I'm not very happy, so I send you a "good night". I have expectations for the other person. I hope you understand my unhappiness, and then you come over to comfort me. But invisibly, you leave the decision-making power of your mood to the other party. Therefore, we need to be proactive people who decide our own mood. You can tell him what you like. If you are always waiting for others to guess you, then your happiness will be determined by others.
Meng Fei said: I think Teacher Huang Lan summarized this point very well. I especially hope that every woman will remember it well.Let's think about it again, regarding the difference between "good night" and "good night", should we say "I don't want" three times or five times? Some people may need to repeat the taste seven times, but how many times does it represent my true thoughts? When I say "no", it means "yes". When I say "yes", is it "yes" or "no"? Some "wants" are really wanted, some "wants" are not wanted; some "don'ts" are really wanted, and some "don'ts" are really not wanted. What should we use to judge whether you "want" or "don't"? So I think the best interpretation of what Huang Lan said as a mature woman is that we should express our feelings clearly and accurately to each other. In this kind of communication, we are the most equal and the most effective. Instead of summarizing these so-called regularities, it is better for us to show more sincerity, understand each other, and form a tacit understanding between two people as soon as possible.
Uncle Ka feels that this section’s discussion and interpretation of girls’ “shoulds” and “don’ts” is quite accurate. In particular, Teacher Huang Lan's analysis should be a revelation to girls. You think you can better "control" boys with such "speciousness", but in fact you are giving the initiative to determine your own happiness in the hands of boys, and ultimately it depends on whether the boy can fully "understand". Therefore, the ultimate control of girls' happiness actually becomes "resigning themselves to fate". Is this the original intention of girls' "subtext"?
To save others is to save oneself. Uncle Ka intercedes, insists on originality, and continues to share emotional topics. Welcome to browse Uncle Ka's other emotional articles. You can also go to the comment area to give Uncle Ka a topic, and Uncle Ka will write for you personally.
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