My mother suddenly and quietly left without any warning at 6:40 pm on December 10, 2022. She left so peacefully, as if she was asleep, which made me have to suspect that she must have been full of disappointment and helplessness in this world, so she left so decisively. No matter how I cried, she no longer responded, and she quietly finished her difficult life without saying a word.
My mother has been frail and sick since she was young. As she gets older, she has a variety of basic diseases, [ hypertension , coronary heart disease ], especially back pain. When she suffers from it, she often lies in bed and cannot move for several months. However, it has improved this year and she can slowly go downstairs to move around. I was secretly glad for this. Due to the epidemic lockdown some time ago, I couldn't visit her, and after the lockdown was lifted, I found that my roommate was acting abnormally, and I was in self-isolation at home. No one expected that she would leave without saying a word, and I felt that none of this was true. This has become the biggest regret that I can't take back.
My mother's parents died when she was a child, and her grandmother and aunt who loved her also passed away due to illness when she was young. The lonely mother had to rely on her only relative, her "uncle".
Her grandmother, who loved her dearly, was still worried about her before she died, and repeatedly told her uncle to raise her well. It turned out that her uncle wanted to go to Shanxi and needed 20 yuan for travel expenses. [According to her mother, she was very eager to go to Shanxi with her uncle.] However, her uncle thought it would be a drag to take her with him, so he used 20 yuan to marry her to my father in exchange for her uncle's travel expenses to Shanxi.
My mother has been frail and sick all her life and has no strength to do farm work. She is often scolded by her father for this. However, her ingenuity is unmatched by most people in the village. She knows how to tailor, cut and sew without any teacher. Especially the hand-sewn clothes are like buying them in the city. The clothes and shoes we have worn since childhood were carefully modified by her from very cheap fabrics, which made us look particularly exquisite and refreshing when we wore them. The friends who grew up with Murakami were all envious. I once mistakenly thought that I was really different.
Until now, the cotton silk, shorts, and short-sleeves I wear every summer are all hand-sewed by her stitch by stitch. [Including her grandchildren, grandsons, and granddaughters all grew up wearing the clothes she made].
My mother’s lifelong hobby was reading books and newspapers. No matter how difficult life was, she strongly supported the children’s education. In her opinion, knowledge can change their destiny. I still clearly remember the scene when I was in junior high school that year because of the 4 yuan tuition fee, my mother took me to borrow most of the village.
Today is December 22nd [Winter Solstice], which is a day to eat dumplings. My mother, who loves dumplings, prepares the fillings for making dumplings in advance every year. When I go back, I will talk and laugh with her while making dumplings while reminiscing about the interesting things that happened in my hometown village.
My mother will no longer make dumplings with me during the winter solstice this year, and I will eat them tastelessly.
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