Zhou Guoping said: "A sense of proportion is the boundary between people, and mature people know how to keep a certain distance." In life, the root of many family conflicts is related to the inability to keep a sense of proportion. If you value family affection too much, you may

Zhou Guoping said: "A sense of proportion is the boundary between people, and mature people know how to keep a certain distance."

In life, the root of many family conflicts is related to the inability to keep a sense of proportion. If you value family affection too much, you may hurt love.

Zheng Piaozirong is like this. After he got married with his wife, he lived in a 53-square-meter apartment. The couple had a good relationship, but the arrival of his younger brother made the two divorced.

After watching my brother's behavior, the host was all over the place.

01. The two are in love, and the man works hard for his family

Zirong is a model. He is very self-disciplined. He exercises every day after work, and hopes to show his best condition at work.

During an event, Zirong met Xiaoya, a junior student. Xiaoya is also a model. In order to accumulate experience, she took the initiative to sign up for the event.

The two hit it off at first sight. Zirong gave each other a lot of work experience. Xiaoya also trusted him very much. The two added friends and chatted frequently in private.

After graduating from university, Xiaoya came to work in his company under Zirong's introduction. The two had more time to spend together and their relationship deepened.

In order to have a home as soon as possible, Zirong worked very hard. He often took the initiative to work overtime and saved up all the money he earned. bought a 53-square-meter apartment in Zhengzhou. Although the place is not big, at least he has his own home.

Xiaoya's family is from a good family and her parents are in business. She was spoiled by her parents since she was a child and she had never even made food. However, for love, she washed her hands and made soup for each other. What is even more surprising is that she did not ask for a bride gift in and did not even hold a wedding. The two of them just got their marriage certificate and started a family.

Zirong was very touched. He gave his work card to his wife and gave his life to the other party. He felt that he was so happy that he could meet such a reasonable girl.

After marriage, he found some problems, that is, Xiaoya spent money and was generous. The biggest fun after get off work was not to watch TV, but to buy online. Once, I bought a skirt for , which cost more than 4,000 yuan. Xiaoya felt too fat when she wore it, so she threw it away from the wardrobe.

Zirong was very strange. He thought the clothes were so expensive and he didn't wear them after buying them. It was a waste. He suggested to put the skirt off. Xiaoya shook her head and said, "It's too troublesome, forget it."

In Xiaoya's opinion, isn't it just a skirt? If you put it there, you may wear it in the future, but Zirong, who is a frugal habit, finds it difficult to accept the other party's consumption concept. They are careful and careless, and they are really not at the same level of life.

But such trivialities do not affect the relationship. What really makes the two conflict is the arrival of Zirong’s younger brother.

02. Favoring your younger brother makes your sister-in-law unable to bear it

Zirong's younger brother Zifeng didn't want to study after graduating from high school.

He came to Zhengzhou and wanted his brother to help him find a job. Zifeng has no skills and no work experience, so it is not easy to find a good job.

But he has a high requirement for work. The salary of cannot be less than 5,000, and time must be free, so you can't be too tired. . Anyone who has worked knows how difficult it is to find a job now. Which unit lacks a master?

Zifeng has been looking for more than a month, but he has not encountered a suitable job. He eats, drinks and has fun at home all day.

He completely ignored his sister-in-law's opinion. While his sister-in-law was not at home, he brought a few friends to his house for hot pot and cooked snail noodles . Xiaoya was the most unacceptable to snail noodles. When she got home from get off work, she saw the house in a mess, the beer bottle was tilted and cigarette butts were all over the floor. She was angry and asked Zifeng to take his friends out quickly.

Zifeng also had a bad temper. He pointed to his sister-in-law and said, " This is my brother's home, it's not your turn to talk to him."

Xiaoya was so angry that she trembled all over. She said to Zifeng, "Okay, if you don't leave, I will let you know who the master of the family is." After that, he called Zirong and asked him to go home quickly.

When Zirong returned home, Zifeng had already gone out. Xiaoya had just cleaned up the house and was standing at the window and sulking. Zirong advised her: "Why are you angry with the child? You can say something well."

" child? He is already 25 years old. Is it good to be the same year as me? Why should I spoil him? " Xiaoya is so angry.

Since her younger brother-in-law Zifeng came, she has not had a comfortable life.

Zifeng loves to smoke. Xiaoya is pregnant and can't smell the smoke at all, but Zifeng doesn't listen and just sits in the living room to smoke. The house is small and Xiaoya has no place to hide.

And Zifeng doesn't pay attention to her words and deeds, she is shirtless at home, wearing beach pants, and her legs are raised on the coffee table to watch TV, so that Xiaoya can't let Xiaoya watch. I felt very embarrassed and didn't want to go to the living room.

Every time Xiaoya asked her husband to persuade Zifeng, her husband said that he was still young and told Xiaoya not to be as knowledgeable as him. But in Xiaoya's opinion, Zifeng is not young and can live independently, so why should he depend on his own home?

At the mediation site, Zirong said the reason: "We have two brothers in our family, and our parents are both farmers, and we don't have much ability. I can only take more care of my brother, otherwise I would be afraid that my brother would cause trouble in my hometown. "

It turns out that he arranged Zifeng at home to protect his shortcomings, but in the face of Xiaoya's anger, what should he do?

Zirong's plan was to show weakness, but he still advised Xiaoya to be tolerant, saying that he was just such a younger brother, taking care of his younger brother, and helping his parents share their worries.

"Do you have a few wives? "Xiaoya seized the loophole in the other party's words and fought back: "If you don't let him leave, I will leave. There is him or me in this family, and there is me or not. "

The atmosphere on the scene became awkward.

03. Learn to keep the boundaries so that life can gain peace

Just as everyone was sweating for the couple, Zifeng jumped out.

He had curly hair, and he looked like he was flowing in the air. He got up and got angry at Xiaoya: " Why are you trying to be at my brother? Tell me what's wrong with me living in my brother's house? You just look down on the villagers. "

Xiaoya was shocked, and tears were about to fall in her eyes. Zirong quickly grabbed her brother and told him not to make trouble.

Zirong said that she didn't want problems with her marriage, and Xiaoya was still pregnant. I hope Xiaoya could accept Zifeng because Zifeng had no job and didn't even have a place to live when she went out.

The host was puzzled and asked Zifeng: "How old are you? "

" is 25 years old. "

" Do you think you are a child? "

" I think so, I'm not married yet, I'm a child. "

The host couldn't stand it anymore and retorted: " I have never seen a 25-year-old child. You are already an adult and should have lived independently by yourself. When your brother came out to find a job, can he live in someone else's house? Your brother buys a house with his own ability and needs to support his family. Why can't you do it and put a burden on your brother? "

That's right, Zifeng is very naive. Maybe he was spoiled since childhood. He has no sense of independence at all. He also has a so-called loyalty in the world. feels that he has the closest relationship with his brother. Sister-in-law can only revolve around the family.

If you marry your brother, you have to take care of your younger brother.

This idea will not change, sooner or later, Zirong's family will be disbanded.

In life, people with this kind of thinking are not an isolated case, especially those from the hometown who value loyalty and attach great importance to the interests of their own family. Even if you don't have much ability, you have to find a way to share your younger brother's worries.

And your parents are also righteous and think that the eldest son has a promising future, so they have an obligation to help your younger brother. They don't understand at all. Everyone They all have their own families. When men get married, they should put their wife's feelings first. The relationship between husband and wife is higher than all other relationships.

Only when the relationship between husband and wife is good can the life of a small family get better and better.

A smart brother-in-law will not live in his sister-in-law's house forever. Even if he occasionally lives, he will pay attention to his words and deeds, take the initiative to share housework, and wear neatly in the room.

Zifeng does not say hello, and takes the act of taking friends to his house to eat snail noodles is a cross-border, which is really inappropriate.

As a husband, Zirong should not make excuses for his younger brother, but should actively point out problems, so that his younger brother should not be too ambitious, find a job steadily, and move to the dormitory of the unit as soon as possible.

If he had a clear attitude and could understand Xiaoya's mood, the couple would probably not have a divorce.

Xiaoya spends money and is not vain, but a habit she has developed since childhood. Her family conditions can completely support her consumption. Xiaoya can not care about Zirong's conditions, marry him without hesitation, and take the initiative to take on housework. Isn't this true love?

Zirong only sees his wife's shortcomings, but cannot see her efforts. This is what makes Xiaoya feel heartbroken.

In my opinion, there is only one solution to , which is to work hard to make money.

There is a saying that goes: " There is only one disease in the world, and that is the disease of poverty."

financial constraints will resolve the relationship between husband and wife and also cause spiritual internal friction in the family.

Whether it is Zifeng or Zirong, we must learn to keep the sense of boundaries, put aside the so-called brotherly obligations, and work hard for our own lives.

Only when a person respects himself can he be respected by others.

desires family integrity. Retention alone is not enough. You must take action to let your lover see hope, so that your relationship can have a future.