Mr. Lao She once said: "Even if a person is in his seventies or eighties, as long as he has a mother at home, he is still a little childish."

Big brother's world

Wu Xiaoming

This autumn, the eldest brother left at the age of 65. He took away all his expectations in the world and ended all his sufferings in the world.

This age is not young, but it cannot be considered old either. In fact, the eldest brother is still a child, and the 85-year-old mother is still waiting for the eldest brother to visit her during the Mid-Autumn Festival. Unexpectedly, the Mid-Autumn Festival came, but my elder brother left first. Lao She Mr. once said: "Even if a person is in his seventies or eighties, as long as his mother is still there at home, he is still a little childish." In fact, he has always been a little childish. He loves lively, group living, and jokes. Among the brothers and sisters, he is the only one who is not particular about the details and has a cheerful personality, and he is still climbing on that land.

The eldest brother has 5 siblings in his family, and the eldest brother is the oldest. My elder brother is actually a high school graduate. It is said that his grades were pretty good when he was in school, but it seems that those cultures have not changed his destiny. He has been living on that land, like a thin and flexible tree on the ridge. Over the years, he has been running around for life. But the elder brother never complains. Many times, the sweat is filled with dust and the smile is filled with soil. He thinks that is his life, so there is no such word as "resentment from the world" and "self-pity" in his life dictionary.

Last year, the elder brother made him tired and ill. He rarely took care of his body during rough days. He had to go to the hospital until his body protested severely. He had a heart problem and had cysts on both kidneys, so he had to be hospitalized and had to undergo surgery. The surgery was done in my city. That day, before entering the operating room, he lied to his mother that the operation was over and it did not hurt at all. My mother-in-law's voice on the other end of the phone was filled with heartache and panic. My mother-in-law said, just after leaving the operating room, don’t talk, it’s just that the operation is successful, and my mother will make you a good supplement when you are discharged from the hospital. In fact, it is already very difficult for my mother-in-law to make a delicious meal now.

When he really advances into the operating room, I am guarding outside the operating room door, and I feel an indescribable panic in my heart. Many years have passed, and he has long been a relative in my life. When he came out of the operating room, he snored like thunder. After the anesthetics were over, he was still very optimistic and said that when he woke up, there would be no extra things on his body, and the anesthetics were really good. Looking at the wrinkles on his forehead, mottled and sparse hair, and a little bloated body, his heart was still mixed.

He was discharged from the hospital and rested for a while, and began to inquire about work everywhere. He felt that if he didn't work, he seemed to feel uncomfortable all over, as if he was sorry for his work. He couldn't rest, and no one could stop him from busy. Especially the elder brother this year, he did not give himself a day off, and he would do as long as he had work, and he was not very concerned about the compensation. He was busy at home after he was busy outside. Many times when he returned home, he was already in a daze. He hurriedly had some food and started to work at home. From the front yard to the back yard, from the chicken coop to the pigpen, from a wire plate to a shovel, he was well organized, and there was only work in his eyes.

Over the years, we have gathered together during the holidays. He doesn’t drink any wine, but he likes to eat, talk and joke. He feels that the suffering of the world cannot enter his heart. He lives a simple and happy life. One thing he likes to say is, if you should endure hardships, if you should eat meat, if you should eat meat. However, in his life, he suffered more time and less time to eat meat. After the

package was delivered to the household, my elder brother was in his early twenties. At that time, both his younger brother and sister were in school, and he graduated from high school and was at home. He is the most important labor force in the family. His father-in-law is a people's teacher and has a very economic mind. My father-in-law was the first to buy a steel mill in the village, and the first to buy an oil press . At that time, the whole village was awakened by the sounds of various machines in their family, and all the machines were operated by the eldest brother, and he was also busy like a machine.

He has a gentle personality and is kind, and rarely goes against his parents' wishes. He is not afraid of many jobs. Sometimes he is just afraid of his father's face. The serious father-in-law rarely gives his elder brother a smile.The eldest brother dared not disobey and listened to his father in everything. He was the only one who ruled his marriage in his life.

At that time, he went to build a reservoir and met his sister-in-law from another village. My sister-in-law is from a poor family and has many siblings. Her father passed away prematurely. A single mother is with a group of children. The difficulties can be imagined. The most important thing is that she doesn’t know a word about sister-in-law. My father-in-law thought his son was a high school student, so he should at least find someone to read. However, the eldest brother was determined and would not marry the eldest sister-in-law. In the end, he married the woman he liked to the family with glory. Although my sister-in-law is in a thin body, the woman who grew up suffering from hardships is not very conscientious and has only brute force. After marriage, the two took on all the burdens in the family. When the eldest brother's two children were born one after another, the mother-in-law revolved around the grandson, and the eldest brother and sister-in-law were busy inside and out. In those years, my mother-in-law's family lived a good life, and in that village it was almost the first family to get rich. At that time, life was bright, translucent and full of vitality, but it was actually watered by the sweat of my elder brother and sister-in-law.

Later, his only sister died of dysfunction when giving birth. That year, he was less than thirty years old. From then on, my sister's child was also his child. Now, he, who should be his uncle, has always raised the child as a "father" and married him in a grand manner. He loves his sister's children as much as his own.

Later, the brothers grew up, and Murakami had more steel mills and oil presses, so my father-in-law sold steel mills and oil presses. The elder brother and sister-in-law began to work hard in spring and autumn harvest. They were planted in dozens of acres of crop fields and harvested hope one after another.

When we got married, our elder brother and sister-in-law were young and strong, and they had already set up a new branch to live their own lives. Although the couple rested at sunrise and sunset, life was fulfilling. Looking at the children growing up day by day, they felt that life was very promising.

I remember the first time I went to my elder brother's house. That day, my elder sister-in-law was busy in wearing a flower turban. I couldn't even see her face clearly. She could only see her thin body, and her way was like a wind. The eldest brother was slaughtering chickens in the yard. He soaked in the summer sun like a red sorghum. That day, his happiness was written on his face, and I felt what the elder brother was like a father. At that time, they were also their best age. They didn’t have to worry about the old, and the young couldn’t worry much.

Ten years ago, I remember that after the Mid-Autumn Festival, he called and said he wanted to give us potato . I think the journey is long and he has to change his car a few more times, which is really too troublesome, so I rejected him on the phone. He always spoke simply and said stutteringly, "I miss you, let me see you, and let me talk about the potatoes in my hometown are delicious."

That time, I watched him climb to the fifth floor with a bag of potatoes, carrying a big bag in his hand, followed by his five- or six-year-old grandson. His face was covered in sweat and a smile. He said that there are many potatoes growing, and the harvest is good, and the barley and wheat grow well, and the joy of harvest is written on his face when he speaks. He took the steamed buns from his sister-in-law, the local chickens he raised, the garlic he grew, etc., and he brought everything he thought was the best. That day, looking at him as simple as a cute child, it should be the prime time of his life - he was in his early fifties, his son was young, and his grandson was the cutest time. That time, I invited him to eat delicious food, bought toys and clothes for the child. I also wanted to buy him a new set of clothes, but he refused firmly. He said that a farmer, who wears new clothes, comes from mud and goes to the soil, and eventually packs all the clothes his lover doesn't wear. He said that these clothes are all new, and I wear them in the countryside as the most fashionable ones. Watching his back disappear, I felt warm and sad. They are all children of a mother. He lives in the soil, facing the loess and facing the sky, never complaining about the injustice of fate, and wearing his younger brother's old clothes is so satisfying. Now that I think about it, I feel sad. Over the years, he has been busy running around, and our common days are as busy as ever. He rarely disturbs us. Even if I work in the city where I am, he will not come to our house. That time, it was actually his last time to come to our house, and it took ten years to go.

A few years ago, I remember it was a hot summer. After dinner, my lover and I went to a stroll in the park not far from us. The park was not fully built at that time, and migrant workers were busy under the sunset. We walked not far away and suddenly we heard someone calling my husband's name. When we approached, it turned out to be the eldest brother. He was wearing a shabby shirt and his chest was open, his temples were sweaty and his face was covered with dust, but none of this could hide his happiness. He said, I have been working here for several days, and I was thinking about whether I could meet you, but today I did meet you. I said, why don’t you come from home? He said, we are in charge of food and accommodation here, you are busy with work and have to take care of your children and not cause trouble for you. After chatting for a while, his tone was full of gratitude for life, without a single complaint. Before leaving, I forced him to give him the only few hundred yuan I had. Later, he went to the village and said my goodness everywhere. Now that I think about it, he is such a kind person. He has never eaten a bowl of rice I made with my own hands, but he has the little bit of goodness that everyone treats him in his heart.

This time he left suddenly. I think it should be a heart attack. It was the same hasty and symptom as my father-in-law. He did not leave a word for his wife who had lived for decades. His heart disease shouldn't be a year or two, but he never told anyone that he was sick. He was like an old ox, and he was really "the old ox knew that the sunset was setting, and he didn't have to whip and thrust his hooves." In the whirlpool of life, he rotated like a top, turning to the last moment of his life.

This year, my elder brother has not given himself a day off since the first month of the year, and he goes out to find work every day. Because he is older and doesn't want him in many places, he sells himself everywhere. He doesn't care about money, he cares about being needed by others. He said that farmers have strength, so it doesn’t matter if they work more. He helped other people's families feed sheep and cows, and also planted trees, built roads, etc. with the people in the village. He worked hard to do whatever kind of rough and tiring work. Of course, no matter how hard it is, he still likes to joke and is still optimistic. In the words of the villagers, he likes to "raise" the most, and these two words are actually his optimistic attitude towards life.

This year, he wished he could endure all the hardships in the world, but he would accompany his mother as long as he had time. He doesn't have much income, but he will buy snacks his mother likes to eat. At night, he was with his mother, chatting with her 80s, talking about her childhood, and talking about her places she had been through over the years, and talking about her future wishes. At that time, he was a child who loved her mother.

Last year, there was an epidemic in the place where he worked. I called and his voice was very cheerful. He said, we are very safe here, you worry about your work, my work is much easier than your teaching, it is not easy to get up late when you get up, you also have to write articles, and you also pay attention to your health. After hanging up his phone, the warmth spreads in his heart. It was the care of his relatives and the care of his brother. Over the years, my elder brother has traveled to many places. The distance I yearn for is not for the sake of seeing the scenery, but for making a living.

This autumn, the eldest brother, who has been optimistic all his life, worked hard all his life, and was filial all his life, left his elderly mother and left resolutely. To me, this news is a bolt from the blue, like thunder, and I feel it is simply a prank. However, by the time he arrived by the side, he was already lying on the cold ground, disregarding our tears and calls. He was like a willful child, leaving behind his hot days, his old mother, and his sister-in-law who had been with each other, and hurried to a date in another world. He couldn't wait.

The day he passed away, he had been busy for a day and went home to wash away the dust. The next day, he had to go to the small county town to visit his old mother and children and grandchildren. That was the biggest concern in his life. His mother was old and his grandson grew up healthily. He is like a shoulder pole, one end is the person who loves him the most, and the other end is the whole world he loves the most, and he carried on it. There are old people above and young people below. He accidentally enjoys a moment of peace and quiet in his busy life.He left the dust all over his body in the countryside, he wanted to see his mothers and children living in the small town in a neat way, and he wanted to give them the greatest respect. Although he worked, he also achieved financial freedom. His grandson's snacks and his old mother's eye drops were all in his plan. He said he wanted to make more money, show his sister-in-law's legs, and provide her grandson with her college entrance exam. However, before all this could be fulfilled, he hurriedly left.

That evening, the autumn sunset floated above his head, the sunset hung on the treetops, neighbors in the front yard were in and out, and the back yard was in chaos. That beautiful house in the yard was the country he had built in his life, and his sweat and tears were poured on that land. He sat in the yard, and the days he liked were like that. When I go home for a busy day, I have hot rice, hot pits, and hot concerns.

Last year, he had a conflict with his sister-in-law, so I scolded him. I said, my sister-in-law married you and I have not suffered much in recent years. In the future, you will be sick and the one who brings tea and water around you, so you must treat her well. He smiled and said, "She has suffered a lot when she married me, but she can't say she has suffered more when she married others. That's her life." In the future, I don’t need her to serve tea and water. I am a straightforward person. I will die if I die and will not cause any trouble to anyone. I said, just brag, you can live clearly and you can predict everything behind you. He didn't say anything. Now that he thought about it carefully, he could brag like this. Sometimes I wonder, is my elder brother living too well? Kong Saint says: "If you don't know life, how can you know death?" But how could he see what is behind him so clearly? Did he have a premonition? Or has the body already been sick and he didn't tell anyone? I always feel that he knows everything.

Someone said that a few days before the elder brother passed away, he told a neighbor that he felt that he would not live in the Mid-Autumn Festival. He has always loved to joke, and no one would take his words to heart, but no one expected that he would make jokes a reality this time, and it was a prophecy. I felt panic when I heard these words. Did he know in a daze that his deadline had come, or was his illness making him feel powerless to support him. However, if it is really a disease, we don’t know what disease it has.

The funeral of the eldest brother was not very glorious, because I was still in the world, so the eldest brother felt that he was not so at ease. But the elder brother's funeral was held decently. He worked hard all his life, and after all, he was full of children and grandchildren.

In recent years, his parents-in-law have been sick, and he is almost always in the hospital for care, because he is a farmer, and in our minds he is a free man. So he had no choice but to do his duty. Whenever we arrived at the hospital, he would say, "I'm here, you guys hurry up and work. You are a public family, don't delay your work."

Four years ago, my mother-in-law broke her leg and rushed back from Xinjiang with her luggage overnight. I touched him at the hospital gate, his face was covered in dust and tears flashed in his eyes. He said, "I'm too worried. My mother won't be unable to get off the operating table. My mother has suffered all her life." After that, he burst into tears. At that moment, I felt that he was just a child, afraid of losing his mother. Looking at his white hair, I felt soft and bitter inside, and I envy him for being in his sixties and still being with my old mother. After his mother-in-law's surgery, he guarded her side day and night without leaving for a moment. At night, he was confused on the recliner for a while, and he took care of his mother-in-law who could not take care of himself. Every time I go to the ward, he says, "You go back to see the students, you can't do this job." At that moment, I felt that he was my elder brother and I could feel his love for me.

This autumn, he has been planting trees. He regards himself as a tree and planted it in this autumn, beside his father. However, the eldest brother who has been watching his father act must have been scolded by his father this time. After all, the old father was still counting on his elder brother to take care of his wife for his old age. In another world, the person my father wants to see most is his wife, and he is definitely not the eldest brother. So, I think, this time my elder brother's willfulness made my father less and less popular. According to his old father's temper, there is a possibility that he will be beaten.I thought again, who can explain the matters in another world clearly?

When my elder brother was buried, I left my elder brother's house, I saw that the hawthorn tree at my elder brother's door had no knot this year. What does this mean? We went to Mid-Autumn Festival last year. My elder brother killed chickens, digged garlic, and picked fruits. I don’t know when we became the most honorable guests in his heart. The chickens raised at home seem to be raised for us. The thriving sister-in-law has grown old in the years, and the first thing she grows old is her legs. Her legs seemed to be having a quarrel, and there was a big difference between them. My sister-in-law was inconvenient and she staggered in early morning. When we walked into the house, the mellow fragrance of chicken came to her face, and the smoke from the cooking stove in the yard rose. I always felt like I was going home. The zucchini in the backyard is very strong, and the pumpkin is even bigger and round. Only the big sweet potato and fruit can grow into such a casual appearance. The hawthorn trees and apple trees at the door are full of fruits and their branches are overwhelmed. When we left, hawthorns, apples, potatoes, garlic, zucchini, steamed buns, etc. were filled with large and small bags. Thinking about it now, it’s like yesterday.

The outside of the big brother's courtyard wall was full of sedge grass, because the sedge grass could be sold for money, so the big brother came back from work outside and went to cut the sedge grass. Nowadays, bundles of splendens seem to witness how busy he is this autumn. After working, he measured all the land in the village with his steps, which was where he worked for the rest of his life.

Some people say that the eldest brother is suffering. If he can still speak, he will definitely defend himself. He will definitely not think he is suffering, and he never thinks he is suffering. Perhaps the bitterness in this area is also quantitative. After he has eaten enough, God will call him back. It’s just that when God called him, he forgot that he was still a child, and the person who loved him the most in the world was still there. The white-haired mother who lost her child must be the most miserable scenery in the world after he left, but she lived in the longing day and night.

This autumn, the eldest brother is like a seed, planting him on the land he has been farming for decades. The fresh soil covers his coffin. So a person who likes the sun is lying in the soil. I don’t know if he is afraid; so a person who likes to joke, lying alone in the ground and does not chat with him, is he lonely? Even though he was accompanied by his father, I guess he wouldn't dare to chat with his father easily.

If people from another world can meet, the eldest brother will also meet his sister he has not seen for many years. However, if my sister saw him, her elder brother would have been a vibrant man back then, but now she is really "even if we meet, we will be full of dust and hair like frost."

(Author profile: Wu Xiaoming, female, from Minle, Gansu, senior middle school teacher, currently working at No. 2 Middle School, Zhangye City, Gansu Province. Gansu Writers Association member. He has published more than 100 novels and essays in newspapers and magazines such as "Chinese Essays", "Flying Sky", "Northern Writers", " Gansu Daily ", "Silk Road", "Lanzhou Daily" and other newspapers and magazines.)