A person who has a clear mind and a clear mouth will offend people every day.
" Zeng Shiqiang Daily Proverbs"
｜The full text has a total of 2700 words, it takes 8 minutes to read in depth, benefiting for life |
In life, I often hear people complain: It is difficult to be a human being, and the relationship is too complicated!
is true.
Things in the world are changeable, people's hearts are unpredictable, various relationships are intertwined, and interests are connected. Sometimes, if you say a wrong sentence or do something wrong, you may suffer endless troubles.
But the truth is simple. Whether it is a person or a person, there are always some underlying logic to refer to.
Especially in Chinese society, if you can start from the perspective of Chinese people's ethical character, you will definitely be at ease and make every effort with half the effort.
So, what are the rules for dealing with people and things in Chinese-style human relationship society? Or what aspects should we pay attention to when dealing with people and things in daily life?
Today we share six words: size, measure, right and wrong. If you do these six words, you will be amazing.
1
Talk about size
The so-called size is Chinese ethics. If you are neither big nor small, you don’t understand ethics, then this person will be helpless.
Why do Chinese people meet first and size? To be honest, I don’t know who is older and younger, so how do you speak?
We have a tone to the top, an attitude, and a different tone and attitude towards the bottom, and it is completely different to the top and the bottom.
As long as you are not big or small, when someone responds to you, he will know that he should stay away from you and ignore you.
There are some people here who are older than you and have higher positions than you. You just can't speak before they speak. Because they are unhappy as soon as you speak.
You go out with your leader, and you just talk before the leader can speak. It would be strange if you have a future.
He thought to himself, I haven’t even said it yet, it’s your turn to say it? You can only speak unless he asks you to speak. We are not foreigners. You talk about yours and I talk about mine, but this is not the case.
This is called Chinese people's big and small ethics.
Modern people are neither big nor small, and all our problems are caused by no big nor small.
Honestly, if you are with your leader, as long as you are not big or small:
First, he will not care about you; second, he will not give you any benefits; third, he will not listen to what you say at all. This is a fact.
But when many people hear that there are big and small, they think that this is a bureaucrat, and then they think that it is a big and arrogant person, bullying the small person. Actually not.
gives you a very specific suggestion, that is, when you are with your boss, as long as there is a third person, you must be fine in everything, obey everything, and not have different opinions.
But some words are obviously unstoppable and unsatisfied, so what should I do?
You have to wait for others to leave and when you are alone with your boss, tell him:
"I understand your instructions, but I have a few doubts. I don't know if I heard it wrongly or if I didn't understand it, I will ask you for instructions. Because doing this will cause such problems, doing that will cause such problems..."
so that after he listens, he will say, "Then you think about it again. If you have any good solutions, you can tell me again." He will be very easy to accept your opinions.
So, if you don’t get along with the leader, that’s your problem; if you don’t get along with the cadres, it’s your problem; if you don’t get along with the people, it’s your problem.
This is why Confucian should be in the opposite direction and not blame others. This is the reason.
2
has a solid
What is solid? Be rational in doing things.The degree is that the degree will not be too far away.
We can only talk about being responsible for the right measure, and we have never heard of being able to grasp the right measure. The difference between being able to be too far.
Look at the same time, we can only experience the difference, but the difference is actually very small. If the difference is small, it is already very powerful. It is just a matter of difference, without a rule.
For example, Chinese people often say that father, father, son and son should be as separate as they are; king, king, minister, minister, in modern terms, superiors and subordinates play different roles.
Between each other, reasonable and unequal proportions must be maintained, rather than unreasonable equality.
This is also what Chinese people often say about "seeing people to serve".
is also the weight of the scale, and Westerners use balances. From all directions, balance is balance, and imbalance is imbalance.
Chinese people don’t need balances, we use that scale hammer.
This scale hammer is powerful. It is okay to be a little higher or lower. As long as the scale hammer does not fall off, there will be no problem.
When I see that I don’t know you, the scale hammer will be lowered. You said how you are biased! How do I be biased? My sworn brother will come later. If I don’t weigh a little higher, he will hit me! If everyone treats the same thing, it would be strange if I don’t go bankrupt. So I weigh you like this and he like that, but I'm still very fair!
This is the most powerful thing, and it is also a case where Chinese people are very careful in their ability to take a good look.
points, there is another meaning, called positioning. Everyone first sets their position and knows what degree they should keep.
Li Hongzhang once said to foreigners, we must experience it carefully. He said: We Chinese pay more attention to identity and status than you Westerners. The sentence
was misunderstood. I thought it was said that Chinese people like to put on airs and like to embarrass others.
is not actually, but rather, the higher the position of , the more you have to be self-respectful. What others can say, you can't say, and what others can do, you can't do.
Who is this to learn? Learn from Confucius! Confucius once said: "Qiu is fortunate. If you have any mistakes, people will know it."
others will not scold the same thing, but if it were Confucius, they will definitely be scolded. However, he admitted it, and he did not complain. Instead, he said, "Qiu is fortunate. If you have any mistakes, people will know it."
means I am very lucky to have Conqiu . As long as I make a little mistake, everyone in the world knows it, so I have to be more self-respecting, be more cautious, and not do anything randomly.
so, if you say this sentence, you should say it; if it is not, it is best not to say it.
Say this to match your identity, and you can say it; if you don’t match your identity, don’t say it.
No matter in any occasion, being a person means learning to be flexible, striving to make reasonable judgments in different time and space and under different situations, and finding the right response plan at this time and place.
Of course, it is the most difficult to grasp the right position in everything, but there is a standard that everyone can refer to.
That is, you can do things that are in line with ethics and morals with confidence; if you violate ethics, you must be cautious and cautious.
3
know that right and wrong
Now, we are influenced by Western culture and think that if the right and wrong are clear, right is right and wrong is wrong.
But have you noticed that if a person has to distinguish everything clearly and has to distinguish right from wrong, no one will be willing to be with him.
often, the more right you say, the more angry you get when you listen. You think you are very smart, but in fact you are really not popular.
In China, the criteria for judging right and wrong are not that easy to determine. We pursue perfection in dealing with things, rather than dividing right and wrong.
now we like to tell right from wrong, this is not very good.
people can be divided into three types.
first type, vague. If it is vague, it is just a fool.The heart is vague and the mouth is vague. Chinese people hate this kind of person the most.
second type, clear. His mouth is clear and his heart is clear. We call this kind of person broken glass, and whoever encounters him will be unlucky. In fact, this kind of person is good for everything, but this is not good.
The third type is vague in the mouth and clear in the heart.
Chinese people know it well and their mouths are vague.
This tells us that when dealing with people and things, we should keep the right and wrong in our hearts and calm our mouths a little.
The other party told you that he has been getting thinner recently. You said no, but it is just a little lighter than before. Just eat more. He can understand what you come and go, and knows what you are talking about, but if you give him face, everyone will be happy.
We don’t care whether you tell the truth or lies, but we just advise everyone to learn to say appropriate things in their lives.
The same sentence, if you say it appropriately and beautifully, it is actually to take the overall situation into consideration, not to cheat you all.
Chinese people like to pretend to be confused the most. They pretend not to see it when they see it, and they know that they don’t know it. In addition to protecting themselves, they are precisely to prevent the other party from being too sad and take care of their face a little.
But pretending to be confused is not really confused. Although the process is vague, the final right and wrong is still very clear.
We are rarely confused and have joy in suffering. This is called one yin and one yang.
The heart is clear and the mouth is vague. This is the real smart person.
A person who has a clear mind and a clear mouth will offend people every day.
However, a person who is confused in his mouth and confused in his heart is only dead.
Only people who know everything but have a vague mouth will not offend people everywhere and attract people to like them everywhere, and will naturally go smoothly.
In short, if you want to be harmonious and popular in Chinese society, you must be clear about the human ethics characteristics of the Chinese.
talks about size, is a good deal, and knows right and wrong. , and you will be at ease and know how to interact with people and how to deal with people.
k both know yourself and others, then you are a very wise Chinese.
Content of this article: Compilation of Professor Zeng's writings
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