People get along with each other, collide with each other and influence each other.
has a kind of influence weapon. It is deeply rooted in our hearts and guides our actions silently. It is the consistency of words and deeds that everyone has.
In life, once we make a certain choice and adopt a certain position, we will immediately encounter pressure from the inside and outside, forcing us to do as promised.
According to Dr. Robert Cialdini's book "Influence": Psychologists have long recognized that the principle of commitment and consistency has a strong guiding force in human behavior. Regarding the desire for consistency between words and deeds as a driving force for behavior, this concept of seeking consistency is powerful enough to force us to do things we don't want to do under normal circumstances.
Next, let’s take a look at how they exert their influence.
01 Words and deeds are consistent, involving personality intelligence
People with inconsistent beliefs, speech, and behavior will be seen as mentally confused, inconsistent, and even neurotic. In terms of being highly consistent, most of them are related to strong personality and superior intelligence. It is the core of logic, stability and honesty.
During and Warring States period, the king of Qin recruited talents, and he got a nobleman from the Wei state called Wei martingale , he went to Qin to serve for the king of Qin, ready to execute , and the law of Shangyang is ready to change the law of , But it was not announced. Because he was worried about , the old Qin people and the people didn't believe in himself.
So, just outside the south gate of Guodu Market, a three-foot-tall piece of wood was erected. The notice: "If anyone can move this piece of wood to the north gate of the bazaar, give him ten gold." The people were surprised that no one dared to move it. Wei Yang gave a notice again and said: "If you can move it to him Fifty gold".
Someone boldly moved the wood from the south gate to the north gate,Wei Yang immediately ordered to give him fifty gold. To show that he could do what he said, then Wei Yang ordered a reform, and the new law was soon implemented throughout the country.
It can be seen that in our culture, a person's high degree of consistency between words and deeds is praised. It should be so. If you can work consistently and unremittingly, you will definitely do well. Otherwise, life will be difficult and messy.
But everything has two sides, because keeping words and deeds consistent indicates a person's credibility, perseverance and lofty intelligence. Some people choose a position in public, and even if they are wrong, they will try to maintain it. Because it can be consistent.
This brings us benefits as well as disasters. Think before the key application. However, even if you cannot blindly maintain consistency, there is no shortage of fascinating things.
02 Consistent words and deeds bring shortcuts to life
Sir Joshua Reynolds said: If there is any way to save the brains of the real physical work, people will definitely not let it go.
Some time ago, there was a lot of noise in the double reduction policy, and a mother jumped out and said, "This is a burden reduction. It was originally arranged for the child. Now it is fine. The weekend class was changed to after school. It was originally peaceful. Days have become turbulent."
Look, adults are willing to spend money to let their children receive training and learning in specialized institutions, which enriches the children and liberates themselves. I originally hoped that this fixed model of multi-tasking can bring comfort to life. When double minus one, everything is messed up.
And in the workplace, why do some people stay in their original positions year after year, while others are able to rise up?
There is a problem of inertia. Some people just stick to the rules in their work, and keep repeating the work pattern of their predecessors, and they can't step beyond their comfort zone. Because challenging complex problems requires sufficient energy and ability. With consistent procedures, it is relatively easy and convenient.
Here, because words and deeds are consistent, we don't have to laboriously weigh the pros and cons, and we don't need to make tricky choices. Encountered something similar,As long as it is carried out step by step, it provides a shortcut to complex life.
But you can't stand still, but you must dare to take risks and dare to challenge in order to make progress, otherwise you will stay where you are.
03 Requests from small to large, that is, the threshold effect
There is an article in "American Salesman" magazine about as follows:
"Small orders paved the way for comprehensive sales. Someone signed the order and bought The profit is too small to make up for the time and energy spent on the phone call, but he is no longer a potential customer, and has become a real customer."
This kind of start with small requests, and eventually ask people to agree to bigger ones. The method of request is called "the threshold".
There is a foreign daughter-in-law who married into her in-law’s family and lived with her in-laws under one roof. In the first year, the mother-in-law bought her daughter-in-law an exclusive bib and sleeves for the kitchen. : "As a member of the family, we have to help with work."
The daughter-in-law didn't say anything, it means tacit approval. From then on, every meal is over, the wife will wear a bib to wash the dishes.
It can be seen that we must be careful when accepting trivial requests, because once we agree, it may affect our self-perception.
This foreign daughter-in-law received a job, which may not be very willing. But as a junior, she could only accept the small request of the bib, and in order to keep her words and deeds consistent, she obeyed the larger request behind her.
If what you receive at this time is a matter with a sense of honor, it becomes a good citizen with the spirit of public welfare and is performing civic duties. Then, this request has affected self-perception, not only obeying small requests, but also willing to do bigger demands behind it.
Because small promises hide universal influence, difficult problems can be made easy.
Because of the small promise that you can manipulate your self-image, in the set position, you naturally have to comply with a set of requirements consistent with this image. Therefore, we must be careful.
04 public commitment,Urge yourself to work harder and be responsible
Make a public commitment to conclude an agreement and let others supervise yourself.
There is a smoker who knows that smoking causes cancer. Every time he thinks about this, he is determined to quit smoking, but he fails again and again. Until one day, she decided that something must be done.
She has a strong personality, and she cares about being seen by others as bad habits. So make good use of it to get rid of this vice. Assure everyone who wants their respect that they will never smoke again.
Quitting smoking is not easy. Many times, I want to take a bite. But at this time, she would imagine that if she didn't keep her promise, she would be despised by them, so she never smoked another cigarette.
publicly promised to use external forces to urge oneself, thereby changing the vice. It also has a lasting effect.
said in the book " Life Efficiency Manual " by Zhang Meng , sharing with others can make efficient learning lasting. This sharing is actually expressing one's views to the public.
In insisting on one thing, you need to constantly reshape your knowledge system and demand your own energy and abilities. And when sharing one's own opinions with others, others are like escorting oneself. The opinions that are shared are made public, invisibly playing the role of being supervised by others. Therefore, I will be more self-demanding, in order to truly achieve what I want to behave.
When this process continues to circulate, self-remodeling continues. I will become harder and more responsible.
If you want to increase your influence, this book focuses on six principles. The above 5 points are one of the six principles. If you want to learn more, you might as well open the book "Influence".
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