First of all, at the beginning of the article, ask everyone, do you think it is too much for a girl to go to see her boyfriend’s parents for the first time and be asked to work?
Regarding this question, I have also asked female friends around me, and their answers are very consistent, that is too much.
"I went to see my in-laws for the first time. I was entertained by delicious and delicious food. I wish my family would go around me. After seeing my in-laws making dumplings, I took the initiative to help, but I was stopped. Don't say asking me to do work."
"Of course it's too much, anyway, I can't stand it, otherwise you think I broke up with my ex boyfriend? What tests my cooking skills? A family of 8 sits there, butts I didn’t move, let me cook for them. There was no door."
"My cousin came here for the first time. The housework is all hers, and men think it’s normal.”
writer Dean once said: “Bringing up, this thing is like blood vessels. It can grow intertwined in a person’s The deepest part of the flesh and blood is indivisible."
Respect for others is the most basic education. As long as they are not married, girls come to visit as guests, and the host should know how to treat guests.
The attitude of the girl, the man and his family to you before marriage, has already told you what life is like after marriage. If you don’t respect your family before marriage, you can’t get married, otherwise, your life will be even harder after you get married.
"Have lunch,Your mother hinted that I would go into the kitchen three times. I can't afford such a family. "After sending this message, Lily blacked her boyfriend He Wei, and their two-year relationship came to an end.
01. My boyfriend saw my parents and behaved well;
Lily is 25 years old this year Now, they have been in love with their boyfriend He Wei for two years, and the relationship is relatively stable, so they decided to go to see their parents.
First of all, according to the tradition of Lili’s hometown, they went to Lili’s hometown before the Mid-Autumn Festival. I arrived at Lily's parents.
"He came to the door for the first time and he behaved very well. First he bought gifts according to my request, and then he behaved very diligently. My parents started to cook, and he tidied up the table, helped to prepare the dishes, and rushed to wash the dishes with my dad after the meal.
Then, Lily’s parents gave He Wei an evaluation, but their opinions were completely opposite.
Lily’s father is not only a good man who knows how to make money, he also knows how to raise a family. He loves his wife and will take the initiative to share housework when he returns home. Therefore, he appreciates He Wei's diligence. However, Lily's mother hit the nail on the head and pointed out a problem.
"Diligence is of course a good thing, but, Whether it is cleaning the table or washing dishes and chopsticks, he is very rusty in doing things. At first glance, he is the kind of boy who is spoiled by his parents and does not do housework. He is so diligent just to please the girl's parents. It looks like sharing housework. ”
So,Under the advice of her parents, Lily and He Wei embarked on a journey back to He Wei's hometown taking advantage of the National Day holiday. Before leaving, my mother told Lily four things.
"First, girls must love themselves and be more reserved. You have not yet completed the steps of talking about marriage and cannot live together. Second, you should take a good look at the attitude of their family to you. Whether his family is reasonable enough and whether he respects his son’s future daughter-in-law enough; thirdly, look at the way his parents get along, whether his father can do housework, whether he respects his wife, and whether his mother has a status in the family. Finally, look at his presence. It’s a young master who doesn’t do anything at home or a good child who is considerate of his parents.”
02. Having lunch, his mother hinted that I was going to the kitchen three times, which made me very angry;
What Lily didn't expect was that He Wei's mother actually had the desire to give her future daughter-in-law, and wanted to test her. What made Lily even more speechless was that He Wei's mother had lunch three times and hinted that she would enter the kitchen to show them.
For the first time, it was an hour after they arrived home, that is, it was time to make lunch.
"While his mother said it was time to prepare lunch, the food was already available, she asked about my cooking skills and sat on the sofa without moving. Her purpose was too obvious. Please, my first When I came to his house once, it was a guest. They must at least show respect. How can I let the guests into the kitchen?" I felt embarrassed when I kicked He Wei. He Wei just remembered to make a rescue: "Mom,Lily likes to eat sauerkraut fish. Isn’t there a restaurant in front where the signature dish is sauerkraut fish? I called to ask, reserve a seat, and let's go to eat there.
"Don’t stop, don’t go to the restaurant to eat?" A waste of money, let me do it! "Then He Wei's mother went into the kitchen.
It didn't take long for Lily to hear He Wei's mother muttering in the kitchen. It was a muttering, but the sound was not small, it was obvious. , Is for them.
"One person prepares meals for six people, how can I have so many hands? Really, there is no one to fight.
At Lili’s house, no matter how many people eat, the three people work together. Mom is responsible for cooking, father takes care of it, and Lily sets the table and chopsticks. At He Wei’s, He Wei is playing with his mobile phone. Dad He Wei is playing games upstairs.
"Son and husband do not call, but call me an outsider who hasn't seen him for a long time. What is the reason?
Lily sat on the sofa and looked even more embarrassed. He Wei lowered her head to play with her mobile phone and did not seem to hear his mother. In order to escape this embarrassing environment and suppress her dissatisfaction, Lily had to go out and buy milk tea. He walked around for a while before returning to He Wei's house.
"Probably it was not interesting to see me. His mother had no choice but to prepare lunch. Then, his mother's third hint came, and that was about washing dishes and chopsticks. ”
After eating,He Wei’s father went upstairs soon. He Wei’s mother sat in a chair and didn’t move. He Wei saw this and sent a message to Lily: "Lily, I saw my in-laws for the first time, so I want to keep it for the elderly." Make a good impression, don’t you understand? I don’t do housework at home. I went to your house and took the initiative to clean up the dishes. Isn’t it just to make a good impression on your parents?"
see this message Lily understood why she felt that there was a huge contrast in He Wei’s performance, and became even more angry, and replied: "Is your family going to marry a wife or an old mother?"
He Wei did not reply, Lily I couldn't sit still anymore, got up and went to the sofa to pick up my carry-on bag, and left He Wei's house with a sentence of "I'm going home first". After a long time, He Wei did not chase it out.
03. Your mother is dissatisfied with me? Just so, let's stop here;
After Lily got in the car, her boyfriend's message came late.
"Do you dislike me? Otherwise, why are you so virtuous in my house?"
"What is virtuous? Didn't cook and wash dishes according to your mother's instructions, and give it to your family after getting married. Are people conscious of being a free nanny?"
"Don’t you say so ugly, can’t you? Women come here all the way? My mom does it, making money while taking care of the elderly and children. My dad Haven’t been in the kitchen before, who is like your mother who needs a man’s help to make a meal?”
“have lunch,Your mother hinted that I would go into the kitchen three times. I can't afford such a family. It just so happens that we don't agree with the three views, so don't stay together, lest the talents meet the soldiers and it makes no sense. Let's stop here, never see you again.
After she blacked her boyfriend, Lily compiled her experience into a copy and posted a circle of friends. Friends were all complaining about her boyfriend and thought her decision to break up was wise.
04. Some problems can be seen clearly before marriage, far better than discovering after marriage.
Silvia Plath once said: "From a distance, I found that he is a A flawed man, but once he got closer, I immediately found that he didn't fit my ideals at all. "
What is a person’s character and whether he really loves you is indistinguishable from short-term contact alone. Therefore, you need to observe him in details and look at his character in trivial matters to understand His true face, see if this person meets your needs.
Besides, whether you live with his family or not, once you get married with him, you can’t avoid joining his circle, avoid Can’t deal with his native family. Therefore, the character of the other’s family, especially the parents, is also very important. On the killer in marriage, conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law can definitely be among the best.
It’s better than finding out after getting married. Marriage can’t be done, you can’t make do. Rather than regretting it after getting married, it’s better to cut it off in time before marriage.
END. Today
topic Should Lily break up? Welcome to share your views in the comments section.
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