In the original book "Knowledge", there are at least three phoenix men. ( Mrs. Sheng ’s husband Tanhualang is not counted, so I won’t list it.)
The first one is Sheng Shulan’s husband, Sun Zhigao. The four words "insult to Sven" are His mantra. In fact, it is not someone else who is insulting gentleman, but himself. He was a young man, was a talented person at the age of 12, and married the daughter of a wealthy family. He didn't want to be motivated. Not only did he eat hard, but he also worked with his mother to bully his daughter-in-law, using Sheng Shulan as a free nanny. What's even more exaggerated is that in order to let a smoked woman get started, they forced Xiu Sheng Shulan to die.
I have no abilities, eat soft food and eat hard, and I am ungrateful, unable to control myself, and have such a phoenix man, and a woman has suffered for eight lifetimes. At this time, you only have one choice, that is, it is not too late to make up for it, leave him quickly, stop the loss in time, and don't take your life into it.
The second one is Yu Ge Lao, that is, Yu Yanran's grandfather.
Yu Ge was also born in a poor family. His family was poor, but he met his own teacher. The mentor not only taught him with all his strength, nurtured him, and gave him help in the official career, but also married him with his jewel in his palm, and he was so kind to him.
As a Phoenix man, Yu Ge is always worthy of a woman to marry. After he developed, he never forgot to dig the well when he drank water. He spoiled his wife for a lifetime. He never took a concubine. She spent her whole life peacefully and happily.
As for the third Phoenix man,It is Sheng Rulan's husband Wen Yanjing. As we all know, Sheng Rulan is the only girl in the Sheng family to marry low, and the only girl to marry love. Compared with Sheng Shulan, Sheng Rulan is lucky to marry the right person.
Although Wen Yanjing also did some offensive things, such as taking the concubine’s room, when Sheng Rulan was troubled by her mother-in-law, he didn’t do all he could to protect him, but in the era when his parents’ fate was greater than the sky, he really He is a qualified husband.
How does a Phoenix man maintain his marriage? From the perspective of Wen Yanjing's management of marriage, the key lies in three points. If you do it, you can keep your happiness.
1. Dealing with the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law;
Before Sheng Rulan got married, she felt sorry for her mother Wang Ruofu did a stupid thing by buying a big house for her. So, Wen Yanjing’s mother moved to the eldest son’s house with confidence, and let her eldest daughter-in-law Sheng Rulan take care of herself.
In that era of strict rules and regulations, the daughter-in-law not only could not confront her mother-in-law, but also had to obey her mother-in-law unconditionally. Mrs. Wen has two sons, and she is more partial to the younger son, making things difficult for her elder daughter-in-law Sheng Rulan.
Facing the conflict between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, Wen Yanjing also intervened appropriately. When he can’t stand it, he will sneer at his mother: "You look down on other girls, so why are you embarrassed to live in someone’s house, move out."
When Sheng Rulan was left to set the rules, Wen Yanjing would find a way to join hands with her mother-in-law, Wang and Damai, to make a fuss, successfully took away his wife, and lived a life of harmony and beauty.
well-known psychologist Wu Zhihong teacher,In his best-selling book "Why Family Hurts": "The relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law is a lie, and the triangle relationship is the truth, and as the core of the triangle relationship, the son is the best candidate to regulate the relationship between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law."
In the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, the lack of a man's strength determines the development of the contradiction between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law. As long as a man really cares about his wife and takes the initiative to protect his wife, the conflict between the mother-in-law and the daughter-in-law will not be too sharp. After all, she has to count on her son to provide for the elderly! It's really not possible. In modern times, men can choose to keep their mother-in-law and daughter-in-law at a distance, so that the water in the well will not be offended by the river.
Although Sheng Rulan still suffered from her mother-in-law, Wen Yanjing was not too bad in that era.
2. Motivated;
As a father, Sheng Hong really feels sorry for Sheng Molan , so she carefully selected such a husband.
Although Wen Yanjing was from a poor family and was a poor student, Wen Yanjing was talented and could enter the official career through the imperial examination. Moreover, Wen Yanjing is not like Sun Zhigao who is complacent with some achievements. He knows how to make progress and has his own plan.
The man is motivated and willing to work hard. Sheng Hong will lead one or two more, Wen Yanjing's future will not be too bad. By then, Sheng Molan will naturally have a good life, but unfortunately, Sheng Molan does not understand his father's painstaking efforts.
As Sheng Hong expected, Wen Yanjing finally became a high official and took Sheng Rulan to Quanzhou , far away from her mother-in-law's jurisdiction.
"It's Quanzhou." Minglan whispered, "Daddy led the place where we lived back then." The fifth brother-in-law has the ability to do errands on his own, but Dad gave him a push in the end. "
Men are motivated and can take on the important task of supporting their families. It is something that must be done to manage a good marriage. You can have little money, but you can't have a motivated heart. Want soft food Hard to eat, as long as the girl is not stupid, and the woman’s parents have a love for daughters, they won’t let you get what you want. Career, a woman who loves you no matter how much she will continue to be stubborn towards you. No matter how much she loves you, she will not be willing to accompany you to eat the chaff for a lifetime, and she will not be willing to let her sons and daughters live hard life with them. Responsible.
3. Know grace, don’t be an ungrateful person;
The reason why people oppose women marrying a Phoenix man is because the original family burden of the Phoenix man is too large and lacking The sense of boundary, the other is because many Phoenix men can’t stand the test. They count their women, marry girls from wealthy families, and achieve their goal of living a good life. They are ungrateful and want to abandon the wife who loves them so much.
Li Bihua In her novel "The Legend of the Green Snake", she said this sentence: Never support a man. Yes, don't support him. It is better to love him until he is almost there. If a man is not happy, he will "make promises with his body". Once he rises up and waits for an opportunity to break through, you are in danger. No man is willing to sell his life, he always has the ambition to use the money he sells to buy another life.
OK Now, Wen Yanjing is not such a phoenix man. He has always treated his wife Sheng Rulan very well.
After Wen Yanjing's affair with Sheng Rulan was exposed, Sheng Changbai beat him up in anger, Sheng Hong and Wang Ruofu didn't wait to see the cheap son-in-law. After Wen Yanjing recovered from his wounds, he personally kowtows to Shenghong and his wife to make amends, and stoutly stated how his love for Rulan is deeper than Jin Jian's love than Jin Jian, and he will not look back for a dozen princesses! Then, he moved Sheng Hong and his wife.
After getting married, Wen Yanjing knew that Sheng Rulan was the only daughter who was married to a low marriage. Every time Sheng Rulan returned to the door, she would pick it up in person, giving Sheng Rulan a lot of face.
Old lady Wen wanted to give Wen Yanjing a concubine. Sheng Rulan cried in the rain in order to stop her. After Wen Yanjing saw it, she thought of his wife's favor and actively rejected her request. If there is an ungrateful, it will be useless for a woman to cry so badly.
There is a classic line in the movie " Westward Journey": "There was once a sincere love in front of me. I didn't cherish it. I regret it when I lose it. The most painful thing in the world. No more than this. If God can give me a chance to do it again, I will say three words to that girl: I love you. If I have to add a time limit to this love, I hope it is, ten thousand years.
If you don't know how to cherish or manage a marriage, even if the other party loves you again, you won't be willing to grow old with you. When the time comes, she is gone, and you regret it. If you want to remedy it, it will be too late to regret.
END.
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