I wonder if your friends have heard the allusion of the idiom "respect each other as a guest"?
It is said that during the Spring and Autumn Period, a minister named Que Rui in Jin State was killed for a crime, but his son was demoted to a commoner. However, he left the officialdom, without the slightest annoyance and complaint, while working diligently to support his family, while working hard to cultivate his morality, his virtues increased day by day.
One day, but lacking in the field to cultivate the fields, the wife knelt down in front of Gachi with the prepared lunch very respectfully, but Gachi caught it quickly and thanked her frequently. At this time, Xu Chen, the doctor of the State of Jin, saw this scene, and was moved by the scene of the love with his wife. After some exchanges, I thought that lacking was a talent for governing the country, and I tried my best to recommend but lacking in front of the Lord of the Jin country, and given the lack of talent for development.
The inner meaning of "respect as a guest" is that the husband and wife get along very harmoniously, respect and love each other, as if they treat guests with enthusiasm. Judging from the inner meaning, on the surface, "respecting each other as guests" is the "most comfortable" way for couples to get along, but this is not the case.
is like a missing wife, kneeling in front of her husband, which is enough to show that the similar "respect as a guest" must be that one party's status is too high and the other's status is low. People with too high status are grateful for the contributions of people with low status, so they have a wife who kneels in front of her husband, and the husband is grateful.
The weak kneeling to the strong may not be a big deal in the feudal period, but in the present era, it is a manifestation of cowardice, weakness and incompetence, and is also an act of unequal status between men and women. Moreover, kneeling down to the one you love is an act of lowering your stance, fearing loss, and fear of being scolded.
This is just an analysis from the allusion of "respect as a guest" but lacks the relationship between the wife and the wife. From the perspective of "love", the word "bin" in the respectful as a guest is the most unsuitable for men and women. The way to get along.
"Bin" means "guest" in "respect as a guest", meaning it is like treating a guest. What is a guest? Strangers, relatives, friends, friends. Men and women walk hand in hand, either as a couple or as a husband and wife. Their relationship is even higher than that of strangers, relatives, friends, and friendsIf it's like treating guests, isn't it that the relationship is relatively unfamiliar, which is not conducive to the development of mutual feelings.
Let's talk about "respect and love each other" again. This is just one of the rules of communication between men and women. There are also a series of potential rules such as understanding, support, encouragement, loyalty, companionship and so on. It's just a "respect and love", not the "most comfortable" way of getting along between men and women.
So what is the "most comfortable" way of getting along between men and women? The souls merge and have their own independent lives.
Soul fusion is not a complete fit of personality and three views. It is to control one's emotions, treat feelings exclusively, be able to think from the perspective of the other party, be grateful for the other party's contribution, and put most of the energy on management In terms of each other's small family.
Control your emotions, avoid being disturbed by negative emotions, so that you will not do impulsive things, and treat your lover as an inflator. Treating feelings exclusively, you can prevent yourself from being tempted by people outside of marriage and doing things that hurt your lover.
These two things are really done, at least it can make oneself feel ashamed when getting along with the lover, and live without a sense of guilt. Being grateful for each other’s efforts and putting most of your energy into managing each other’s small homes can make your loved ones feel happy, caring, and considerate. After your lover feels these, he will love you more and you will be able to Get enough happiness from each other's relationship.
The soul-combination thing is done, and there is one more thing that must be done, that is, in the process of getting along, have their own independent lives. What is an independent life? It is the career and their respective circles.
In the eyes of many people, career should be a man's business, but in fact, women should develop their own careers. A woman without a career, unless a man loves herself enough, otherwise, she will fall into a particularly passive situation and can only rely on a man to survive and cannot survive on her own.
During the years as an emotional mentor,I met a female friend who had no career of her own and was afraid that her man would divorce her. Therefore, she repeatedly tolerated a man's faults and led to her unhappy life.
The sense of security is given to oneself, and the sense of happiness also needs to be obtained by yourself. The ability and confidence to pursue a sense of security and happiness is directly related to whether one has the ability to live independently.
In addition, the independent life between men and women will continuously improve the cognition of men and women, and at the same time improve their cultivation, they will also increase the freshness, excitement and mystery of each other, greatly increasing The intimacy, passion, and enthusiasm in the process of getting along makes the relationship between each other more intimate.
This is why, the most comfortable way of getting along with each other is the way of soul-melting and independent living between men and women. Perhaps there are friends who are worried about the handling of children's education and family chores. After mutual understanding and support are achieved, housework and children's education can be divided according to their respective work conditions.
Finally, I would like to give my friends a message: The most important thing for men and women to get along is to live out of themselves. A life of soul integration and independence is the embodiment of freedom of marriage and love, and it is also the embodiment of living out of yourself. Don't give up the opportunity to keep growing for the one you love.
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