I chatted with a few friends and talked about marriage, children, and old-age care.
Two of my friends are already married and have children. Their opinions on marriage are relatively consistent. They both have an attitude of "I am married, so I will not persuade others to marry, and I will not easily persuade others to have children after having children." .
After listening to friends say this, the others couldn't help feeling embarrassed. They were about to get married and began to wonder whether they would like to marry or not. People who don’t have a boyfriend think it’s fine to live alone.
I don't know when it started. When talking about the word "marriage", many people feel that it is no longer a must in life, especially those who arrange their lives well.
People who have not lived the life they want are also working hard. There are fewer and fewer people who truly regard marriage as the second reincarnation of a woman, and more and more people understand that living in this world, oneself It is the most reliable.
Why are more and more people reluctant to get married? Why do many people in marriage have no hope of marriage?
Teacher Li Yinhe once put forward a shocking view of marriage: "The marriage system will eventually die!"
Teacher Li Yinhe is a famous sociologist in my country, the widow of the late writer Wang Xiaobo, and she is also a Independent scholars and researchers of gender relations have always had unique views on marriage relations.
She said that people are becoming more and more reluctant to get married. The main reason is that marriage is a kind of "yoke" tension for two people. And the life is so long, the rest of the life after marriage can only face one person. too boring.
And the high cost of divorce has caused people to become more and more afraid of marriage and non-marriage.
Teacher Li Yinhe's words gave the most real reason, which makes people have to sigh. Based on her perspective, she believes that many people are increasingly reluctant to get married mainly because of the following factors.
01 Emotional uncertainty
Teacher Li Yinhe said: "The highest value of life is the pursuit of happiness.Rather than pursuing the end. "_P1p
Being fond of the new and disgusting the old is the weakness of human nature. The longer the two people are together, the more nature is exposed to each other, and the corresponding attraction will be lost, aesthetic fatigue will appear, and even boredom will occur.
Modern There are many temptations in the social world. The friction between husbands and wives due to ear and temple friction, as well as the contradictions created by various troubles and pressures in life, will have a negative impact on the two people getting along.
Therefore, extramarital feelings, Situations such as betrayal and involvement of a third party have arisen at the historic moment, which makes many people feel insecure about marriage and believe that their partners cannot meet the requirements of loyalty, so they will have the psychology of rejection and resistance to marriage.
In this emotional state Under the domination, some people think that the single life will not face the chicken feathers in the marriage and the complicated family relationship and get along. Without these contradictions, the relationship can last longer.
02 Women's independence
With the improvement of women’s status, many women are no longer content to be the woman behind men, but stand in the same position as men to hold up the sky. Even in many fields, women are playing more and more powerful Leading role.
There are some women who no longer marry for the sake of marriage, and think that if they cannot find a suitable person, it is better to live by themselves than to marry.
When you have the ability to buy a house and a car, yes If you have the ability to arrange your own life and plan your old-age security, but you can’t find someone who can match you and someone you like, would you still lower the standard and ask for everything to marry a man?
definitely not, for independence For women, love has long been the icing on the cake. It is best if there is one, but if you don’t have it, you won’t be depressed for a lifetime.
Instead of entangled in marriage and family, it is better to live for yourself.
03 Divorce cost
After marriage, if the feelings are not harmonious and the two parties can’t sustain it after much effort, then the only way to end up is divorce.
After all, the thinking of modern men and women is no longer the same as before. Divorce is shameless,Need to maintain a superficial couple.
However, the cost of divorce is very high for both men and women, and it may mean that half of the property is lost, and everything has to start again.
If a couple has a house, if they want to divorce, they must relocate the ownership of the house. If one person is half, then the party who gets the house will bear half the burden of the house price, and the party who does not have the house will have to consider again Home ownership.
In addition, families with children also involve the child's upbringing and expenses. In general, the divorce lawsuit is not only a material loss, but also a torture to both parties in spirit.
Therefore, many people consider that if they get married, they may face a divorce situation. The loss at that time will be irreparable, and they will only fall in love without getting married.
04 The purpose of sex
In traditional marriages, the next task for men and women after they get married is to have children and breed children. However, the changes in modern people's concepts have caused some people to choose not to have children because they do not want to bear the responsibility and obligation of raising the next generation.
In this way, men and women are together for the pursuit of sensory enjoyment rather than for the purpose of having children. If it is for happiness, then there is no need to choose marriage.
After all, once marriage is involved, a certificate is needed to constrain the behavior of the two, changes in relationship, and many complicated choices.
is just simply being together, feeling that the two get along when they get along, and they don't get along with each other and don't involve interests.
So some people simply choose not to get married, and simply pursue their own free life.
Indeed, economic development and increasing pressure have made many people feel the burden.
There are more and more old-age leftover men and women emerging in the city, part of which is due to the relatively high personal conditions and standards, and some are left behind because they can’t find a reason to get married. .
Teacher Li Yinhe said: "Many people who have a happy marriage just know in advance what kind of marriage they want."
Faced with people who hesitate in marriage,It is nothing more than that I have neither encountered the love I want nor know what kind of life I want. I just heard many people around me talk about cases of marriage failure, and I was discouraged.
is actually not necessary at all. People are different, and different people have different ability and means to manage relationships.
Some people don't see their needs, don't know what they want in marriage, and don't know what they can give to marriage, so they blindly follow other people's views on marriage rejection.
There are also some people who are purely following the trend, thinking that they don't like being tied up, and not getting married is a very free thing.
But in fact, things in this world are not so absolute. Getting married or not is a lifestyle choice made by mature people for themselves, and there is no absolute good or bad.
And each of us, no matter which path we choose, at least must be able to take responsibility for our choices and behaviors, not necessarily what others say is right, and the grief experienced by others may not necessarily be faced by ourselves.
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