Tagore wrote in a poem in "The Gardener's Collection":
"I long to sit next to you in silence, but I dare not, for fear that my heart will jump on my lips; therefore I speak easily , Hide my heart behind words. I long to walk away from you, I dare not, for fear that you will see my cowardice; so I just walk in front of you with my head held up casually."
likes one People are prone to inferiority complex, which is an experience many people have experienced in relationships; while eager to get closer, they subconsciously back down.
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"I have a crush on the person I like for 1 year, and only dare to get along as a friend"
Will you feel inferior when you are with the person you like?
Recently, a male reader left a message to me. The male reader said: I have liked a girl for 1 year, and now the two people are still ordinary friends, occasionally chatting, and never even had a chance to eat alone. The girl
was a college classmate with him, and hadn't contacted him after graduation, but I didn't expect that the two would meet in the same company. One year after the
girl entered the job, he found that he actually liked the girl more and more, but the conditions of the girl were excellent, and male readers felt inferior. Even if he pursued it, he would definitely be rejected.
Therefore, he can only have a crush on this girl and loves it silently; he dare not take the initiative to ask her out for dinner or watch a movie, and he can only have a chance to eat at company dinners. The
girl resigned some time ago, and by looking at the dynamics of her circle of friends, she knew that the girl was in love. The secret love of
1 year ended here, but he was always upset: if he was brave and pursued her actively, maybe the two would still have a chance to be together.
But now, even if he wants to confess, he has no chance, so he can only get along as a friend. One of
is that it is over before it starts.
Another kind of like is: you can only get along with you as a friend, you can't move forward, and you can't go back.
People will always subconsciously develop inferiority complex when facing the person they like. Before they start, they will think: he is so good, he will definitely look down on me, but first understand and understand, and see how he performs to me. Make another decision.
But just in this hesitation, the person you like starts a relationship, but you can only be the person behind the unknown secret crush.
Emotional things are always in one thought; if you stop moving forward and hesitate, you will lose. The more you like
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, the more you feel inferior: psychological protection mechanism
There is a saying in psychology called: psychological protection mechanism. The protective mechanism of
is often awakened when there are large fluctuations in mood and environment, and when it has a certain impact on itself.
In feelings, this protection mechanism is manifested in: the person you like appears in front of you.
You like someone, but you dare not confess, you can only look at the other person from a distance; every time you meet the other person, your inner deer bumps and your heart beats faster.
At this time, your mood has fluctuated greatly, so you are very nervous, and this kind of tension subconsciously awakens your psychological protection mechanism.
So, your liking has gradually turned into an inferiority complex; in front of the person you like, you just look up and watch silently, but you dare not take a step forward. The most obvious manifestation of this protection mechanism of
is: stay away.
Even if you like the other person very much, but when you see the other person and are in the same environment with the other person, you will feel very nervous; therefore, you want to escape, even though you feel very unwilling, you still can't help but flee.
This escape is your protection for yourself.
Obviously like someone very much, but when you get along with each other, you want to escape? Doesn't it sound weird?
In fact, this is the inferiority complex.
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are afraid of losing, so they dare not get close to
. They will subconsciously stay away from scenes that have hurt themselves and avoid the unbearable emotions they have experienced.
Some people feel inferior to the person they like and dare not approach it. In fact, they dare not approach each other because they have failed and experienced an unbearable relationship. The more
likes it, the more crisis he feels, so he dare not take a step forward. The situation where
can appear is: I missed my own feelings.
In other words: I like you very much, especially want to be with you, but I am also very afraid that we will fail when we are together; instead of failing, it is better not to get close from the beginning.
is sensitive and inferior, eager and restrained, this is the best description of this phenomenon.
When faced with a relationship that has not yet started, he is already suffering from gains and losses; before he actively pursues the other party, he thinks of being rejected; before he starts, he thinks of failure.
This is a typical escape mentality, inferiority complex.
people often have a "perfectionist perspective" when facing people they like. There is a saying in
: Beauty is in the eyes of lovers.
When you like someone, the shortcomings of the other person turn into advantages in your eyes; the other person is the most perfect person in your heart.
Faced with this kind of perfection, you can only look at it from a distance, but dare not approach it.
In many cases, the more hesitant and timid you are, the easier it is to fail in the final result; therefore, the best way to face fear is to be brave.
is the same with the people you like.
You have a chance to get love if you have worked hard, paid, and been brave; but if you haven't started, if you haven't worked hard, you will be timid and shrink back. How can you talk about happiness?
Today’s topic: When
likes someone, do you have an inferiority complex?
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