Every time everyone mentions the word security, it is generally aimed at girls.
Yes, girls are inherently more sensitive than boys. Love her and give her a sense of security has become the consensus of boys and girls.
But in fact, we have all overlooked that boys will have the same needs in the emotional path.
Don't say, from the comments of the young boys, I found that many boys are really insecure, maybe even they are not aware of it.
They are always all kinds of fears and fears, afraid that the girls don't like them, and then give them in vain; afraid that they have paid a lot, but in the end there will be no results; afraid that they really love others and will be scumbed by them.
Maybe you don’t really have no choice, but the main reason for indecisiveness and singleness so far is that is still not sure if you fall into a relationship, will you get more than you paid, and is it worth your effort? .
That morning brother came to talk to everyone today, how boys should feel safe in love.
01
Give each other a sense of security
Whenever it is said that girls like boys to understand, tolerate, love and be considerate, the first reaction of many people is that I am going to do this. Am I not a dog licking?
Well, I believe it, sometimes there is a reason why you can't take off the single.
It's like you go to someone else's house, leave your hands empty, sit on the sofa when you go, do nothing, just wait to eat the ready-made.
Who would like such a customer?
If you want people to like you, do you have to behave? The first time I met, the girl should love you too much? Are you Aaron Kwok or Daniel Wu?
Do you also have to clean up, act harder, be sweeter, and have a warm attitude, so that people can notice you and be willing to learn more about you.
Do you think this is to please, is it for nothing? What can't be a gradual process?
Even if you are looking for a job, you still know that you should dress decently and write a good resume. For whom? Isn’t it all for you to get the offer smoothly?
is not saying to criticize everyone, the key is that my painstaking efforts cannot be understood, I am really sad.
I am on the same front with everyone, and I certainly hope that everyone can leave the order soon. But if you want to gain something, you have to pay.
Okay, let’s get back to business, why are boys insecure?
is not sure about the girl's mind, so I don't know if I should pay. Afraid of your enthusiasm for giving, the last river of spring water will flow eastward, do you think you are not worried?
There are ways to avoid this tragedy, and you need to grasp this degree.
When you feel that girls do not like you so much and your contributions are not equal, you can cut off the love in time to minimize the loss.
Does it take a long time to confirm whether girls like you? No, I think everyone can feel it.
What can you lose during this time? Nor will it.
If you are not even willing to pay for this in the early stage, girls can't see a little action in you, and listen to you every day you say I like you, you think. . . Who would believe it?
So, early investment (action) is a must. If you want to gain a sense of security, you must first let the other party perceive your sincerity before she dares to accept you, right?
Don't say anything, why should I take the initiative? Why don't girls take the initiative.
How do you know that other girls are not learning how to make boys like themselves?
Besides, I have given you a lot of dry goods before. After judging whether a girl likes herself, you should pay.
If you just feel that you are taking the initiative and lose your share, then you can also choose to wait. I have no objection. You can rely on your own skills, right? I really hope everyone has this ability.
02
Leave some space for each other
Some little guys, once they enter the love mode, they start to exert their "boyfriend power" infinitely.
This "boyfriend power" is not his "boyfriend power", but it means that some boys like to manage people.
If you are in love, it means losing your freedomThen who would like to talk about it?
Of course, the freedom here must at least be limited to mutual loyalty, respect and love.
For example, girls who practice well in the waistcoat line just want to wear a crop top. You talk endlessly there, do you think girls can be happy?
If it is you, you want to play games for a while, but the girls keep making trouble, are you also very annoying?
So, one of the requirements for mutual respect is to leave proper space for each other.
Why do you like to be in charge of others? Is it really because you care? Actually because of possessiveness, afraid that she will fascinate other boys? After all, it's not that you are not confident enough.
If she really has two hearts, do you think she can manage it?
has this skill. Don't worry about what they wear. Let's practice abdominal muscles and biceps. Let's show it too, right?
03
consolidate your position
Remember what Chen brother always said? Improving yourself is always the number one key to attracting girls.
has a way of improving oneself, which is called consolidating one's position.
You feel insecure, not necessarily because the other party did not give you feedback, or because the other party does not like you enough, but because you are panicked about your status.
You don't know how long the other party can like you, or if she is sincere. This is an expression of lack of confidence.
In fact, confident people don’t worry about these at all. Do you know why?
because they have capital!
The so-called capital here does not mean being handsome and rich (of course it is better). At this stage of , you have to find ways to enhance your irreplaceability.
After all, no one can keep anyone forever, unless she is willing.
Many years after Wang Xiaobo's death, Li Yinhe still remembers their past and deeply misses and loves him.
Is Wang Xiaolong handsome? No, his talent is the key to attracting Li Yinhe.
So, you have to create the characteristics that make girls depend on you and have to be you.
You can cook a good meal, make a good glass of wine, play a good piano, or even just be honest. This is really a scarce resource.
Anything is fine. In short, you have to let her feel your difference, let her get used to you and rely on you, and you will be stable.
Sometimes people habitually refuse to cater to it, but if you think about it, you already like to cook, or you like to drink. It's just that one more person shares with you. What have you lost?
didn't lose anything, instead he gained a "die loyal" girlfriend. why not?
04
candid communication
The way my couple and friends get along is really varied. Some people quarreled when they didn't agree with each other, and they quarreled every day, but they went well. Some of
, cold war when they are upset, it seems that there is no gunpowder, but it is the most emotional. At the end, they lost expectation for each other.
This is probably why there is such a saying: It is better to quarrel than to be too lazy to quarrel.
seems to be the same. I can speak out the dissatisfaction in my heart. At least I know what you care about and where I need to work hard. Instead of saying nothing, it's up to me to guess.
This is the most insecure. I don't know what you are thinking, and you don't want to say it. Guessed wrong, the contradiction intensified, and in the end only goodbye.
From this level, quarrel is also a kind of communication.
Of course, if you can communicate calmly, without quarreling is the best.
For example, you can set up some rules that only belong to the two of you. Let’s have three chapters. You must go home before 11 o’clock. You can’t stay overnight. You should say hello to each other every time you travel. Two people must spend time together on holidays. , Cook together and cook a meal or something.
Don't underestimate these, after writing in black and white, people have the desire to execute. This is actually the process of two people grinding the right response, and it is also a kind of life taste.
The original appearance of life may have a lot of trivialities, but when you decorate it with a little taste, You will find that it can actually be very interesting. How about
, having said so much, are you such an insecure boy?
If yes, you might as well try as I said, maybe you will experience a completely different love surprise.
hope that everyone can face the future with confidence. The love that belongs to you is on its way. All you need to do is adjust to the best version of yourself, and then open your arms to welcome it!
Alright, if you are facing such a problem, I hope my suggestions can help you. If you have other emotional problems, you can send a private message to Brother Chen, and I will help you analyze it.
old rules, today’s off-order dry goods prepared for you is "the underlying logic of different stages of love" , see where you are. Only by understanding the core needs of different stages of love can we launch targeted actions. If you need a friend from
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