A warm table that focuses on the wisdom of life
article丨Bao Shishan
source丨Bao Shishan (ID: rxfx0518)
reader Lin Ru wrote to talk about her girlfriend, or desperately trying to get married She is not ashamed of losing weight, or working hard in cooking, or risking plastic surgery, packaging herself with A goods, or even flirting with an old man in a twitchy manner.
She just wants to be a turbulent world and insist on herself. What is
, even those hypocritical and tacky women who made her look down on were married off, and she was left alone.
Are all men blind?
My name is Lin Ru. I am 31 years old this year. I am waiting to be married, but I sadly find that I am like a cabbage and I am being picked.
Girls’ Generation, I used to yearn for love very much. I sketched out various images of Prince Charming in my heart and performed N love versions, but what actually happened was only a bad one.
When I was in college, I liked a guy in my class, and he liked me too. We went to the cafeteria to eat together, watch a movie together, and he would hold my hand when crossing the road.
I think, although he never said he likes me, but we are already lovers.
Unexpectedly, one day, he openly held hands with other girls and told me that it was his girlfriend.
I was angry and shocked, so what am I in his heart? He said, we are good friends. I scolded him as an asshole and slapped him hard.
I cried with my friend, and my friend comforted me, he is not a bastard, and he didn't do anything to you.
I am really sad, but fortunately, my repair ability is strong and I quickly cheer up.
However, this failed first love left me with sequelae, that is, I dare not actively like men, for fear that I will fall into a passive situation again.
I especially hope that a good man will pursue me, but this kind of seemingly common thing with other girls has never happened to me.
After graduating from university, through hard work, I entered a public institution. Although I am a middle-aged person, I have a good job and a reasonable family background, but I have no relationship with a man. In a few years,
's family began to urge marriage. On the surface, I don't need them to care about it, but in my heart I am also worried...The girlfriends around
are getting married one after another.
At that time, a girlfriend confided to me that two men were chasing her at the same time. One was a G-servant, with a house but no loans, but her appearance was not good; the other was handsome and loved her, but she was in average work and poor family background. Okay, get married and rent a house.
She struggled for a long time, and finally decided to marry someone with a house. The roomless man became anxious when he knew it, and cried bitterly in front of her. He actually knelt down for her, begging her to marry herself, and vowed to love her forever.
My girlfriend shed tears when she talked to me and said, if the man she likes doesn’t need to have a good family background, as long as she has a house, she will marry, and her love must be very complete, but life will make you difficult. Both.
To be honest, when my girlfriend was crying, I didn't feel sad, but was greatly shocked, because she was the same as me and had a normal appearance. I have been idle for a few years, and she actually had two men rushing for it.
girlfriends had a happy little life after marriage, and even if she sighed when she mentioned the man without a house, she was more showing off and proud. Some men were so infatuated with her.
I am careful to remind her that her choice is so realistic, don't you think it's a sad thing not to marry love? She glanced at me: "My dear, if you are poor, love will soon be gone."
I have reservations about her choice, but I am very interested in her so attractive to men, so I humbly ask for advice. It shocked me greatly.
She said that she was also lack of masculinity. Later, through observation and introspection, she believed that the main reason was that her facial lines were too hard and her femininity was missing. Therefore, she tried to practice facial expressions and body language to develop sweetness and charm. How exactly do
operate? A big mirror is hung in the bedroom, and the woman in a TV series is enchanting and charming. After
feels it, put a poster of her favorite male star on the wall, imagine that it is the man she will attract, and practice with the poster again and again. Over time, she will develop a femininity.
was afraid of being seen, she practiced secretly with the door closed, and gave me a demonstration. It was really charming.
After finishing talking, my girlfriend laughed, but I thought it was incredible, In order to marry, as for? I won't do that anyway.
girlfriend also said that in addition to appearance, she also practiced two dishes, sweet and sour pork tenderloin and braised fish.
Once, parents who had a boyfriend were not satisfied with her. Later, when she went to her boyfriend's house as a guest, her boyfriend said that she was tired of eating the food her parents cooked, and they cooked it themselves.
When her two specialty dishes were brought to the table, the future in-laws immediately smiled.
So, her marriage went smoothly.
My heart is even more disdainful, I don't want to cater to anyone, I just want to be myself.
Slowly, I found that many of my girlfriends around me were making various preparations for marriage, and they were really fighting. One of
was urged to marry by his family frequently and became obsessed with plastic surgery. She did double eyelids first, and then continued to do rhinoplasty and forehead lift.
Actually, she looks good, and she really doesn't need to move the knife like this, but she said that high-quality men are all sought-after, and the more beautiful they are, the closer they are.
I don’t think so. She retorted that she must at least pack it, even serving the dishes, but also the taste, appearance, and appearance, not to mention marrying such a major event. You see the peacocks have to open their screens, so they have to show their beauty.
I said, it was the male peacock who opened the screen, and the female didn't have to go to war. How could it be that humans were to let women toss themselves and attract men? My girlfriend was choked by me, but did not stop packing.
also has a girlfriend who can't afford luxury brands, so she buys goods A and packs herself.
I said that luxury goods have their own culture. If you can't reach it, you can buy what you can afford. Why bother to spend a lot of money to buy A goods?
She said, you don’t understand. Wearing a high imitation feels the same as it really feels. It also requires you to control it vigorously. After a long time, you can develop the same aura as wearing a genuine product, so as to attract elite men.
Once, she proudly said that she flirted with a high-level executive, if it were not for her luxury goods, she would not have confidence.
I am surprised, can men not see fakes? She said that most of the men in science and engineering are clumsy, no problem.
I really can't understand them, hypocritical and tacky.
They attacked me, saying that if they are ordinary at first, but don't want to marry ordinary, of course they have to take a good look at themselves, otherwise, there is no good thing about pie in the sky? When you can't get married, there is a time when you cry.
I don't believe it, unless they lose their authenticity like them, I can't get married.
Finally, I waited for my peach blossom and met a man who was in good condition in all aspects.
Once, he asked me if I could cook? I think of my girlfriend's hard work in cooking in order to please her boyfriend and in-laws, and I feel disgusted with this topic.
I said, I won't. He said: "You have to study hard and cook for me in the future."
I am very annoyed, I just won't do it, why I cook for you instead of you cook for me, can't you Is looking for a wife just looking for a free nanny?
He was a little angry, saying why you are a woman not cooking?
I said, you are a man, and you can't support your family independently. You earn the same salary as me. Why don't you cook?
is about cooking, the two of us had a big fight. Unexpectedly, because of this incident, it made him feel grudge.
The last time we quarreled, I said, okay, you bull, find a woman to take care of you, but it's definitely not me.
just like that, we broke up and broke up. I find it ridiculous, who does he think he is, and why should a woman be able to cook?
Later, I met a man who was five years older than me. Although the conditions were average, I could accept it. However, I found that I didn't agree with him in the three views. I often debated current affairs and got red-faced.
He said angrily, why are you a woman so stubborn? I said, because I have a mind, I can't accept that my boyfriend is a brain-dead.
Finally, we broke up too.
Now, the girlfriends around me are all married, but I am alone and alone.
Whenever I think of this, I feel indignant and speechless-I can't marry a true and down-to-earth woman like me. On the contrary, the pretentious and vain-loving women are married. Are all men blind? !
Should women cater to men and pack themselves in order to marry an excellent manWhat about the human purpose?
In fact, in the current situation of "value of beauty is justice", enhancing personal charm is not only useful for choosing a spouse, but also useful in the workplace and society.
This kind of promotion is not only to be done before marriage, but also to persist after marriage. Maybe it will let you get the favor of fate and embark on the fast lane of career.
doesn't know if such arrogant women as Lin Ru will calm down.
If you say that it is not worth it, is it worth it to cater to men to change yourself?
It depends on the woman's personal conditions.
If you love everyone, you see flowers bloom, and you have a superior family background, etc., the so-called "the emperor’s daughter does not have to worry about marrying", then you don’t have to cater to anyone, as long as you choose the suitors carefully. Okay.
If you are not, you have to soberly weigh your own weight. Why should people like you?
Similarly, if a man is cool and ugly, he doesn’t care about you when you say ten sentences, and you still admire him meanly. If he says a word to you, you can’t wait to tell the whole world, He loves me!
Then, behind this man's coolness, there must be other things, such as a noble background, a good family, a handsome, talented person, and so on. If these are not there, then he is so cool, who pee him!
It is not a shame for a woman to truly realize that she is ordinary and want to marry better and cater to the tastes of men. Youdao is "a woman who is pleased with herself." Lowering your posture and adjusting yourself is a compulsory course in life.
Of course, if you think this is not good and you can't pass your own level, then just don't cater to it, just go alone.
After all, marrying depends on personal choice.
If you think that it is important to marry, you should model yourself as a suitable model for marriage; if you think that self is important, then "I love whoever I love" and don't aim for marriage. You can choose
, it doesn't matter whether it is right or wrong.
However, you are obviously very ordinary, but you have chosen to be maverick, stick to yourself, and hope that others will appreciate you, and beg you happily, it is a bit difficult.
is like Lin Ru, who refuses to lower his head and resents the sky, the most undesirable.
So, are men blind?
In fact, most men are not only not blind, but also know exactly what kind of woman they are looking for. As for whether such women are born or tempered, they don't care.
Here, I need to re-emphasize: girls fall in love, men find their wives.
Women are full of longing for future marriage, which is based on love. Therefore, "marrying love" is the right policy.
But if it is not for women who need love, men are actually unwilling to fall in love.
The idea of a man is very simple, in layman terms: Do you want to sleep with each other? Do you want the other person to give birth to yourself? Do you want the other person to accompany and take care of your diet?
If the answer is yes, men really don't want to play too much process, just want to go directly, and then save time to do something else, even playing a few games is good!
Women don't want to bargain men like this, and every woman has a different style and style. A man likes it, but it may not be worth it.
In this case, they can only use "love" to entice each other to agree.
But all of this, the premise is to see the other party, eager to own it alone.
Therefore, they are willing to spare no effort to please each other. Conversely, if a girl is attracted to a male god, is it not the same?
is like Lin Ru, who is obviously very ordinary, but he does not want to change himself for love. If she has very low expectations for her future partner, that's fine. The problem is, she hopes that the other party is good quality and not tacky. This requires a little luck. The problem with
is that with her uninitiated character, even if she meets such a man by chance, she may be cut off by a shameless girl!
◇ Picture source: Photograph.com
