文|Mother Nanxi (the original article, the copyright belongs to the author, welcome to share it)
Xiaoqiu’s daughter is 8 years old, and she has been with her father every day like she was a child Bed to sleep. Xiao Qiu felt that he should find a way to let the child sleep in a separate room.
is such a big girl, and sleeps with dad every day, always feel weird.
But the mother-in-law didn’t think so. The mother-in-law said, “As the old saying goes, children should avoid mothers and daughters don’t avoid fathers. If children are not used to sleeping by themselves, then continue to sleep with her dad. When the child grows up and understands it, he will naturally ask himself to sleep alone.”
However, "women do not avoid their fathers", it really means nothing. Do you avoid your father? Even if you are 8 years old, you still cling to your father to sleep?
After multi-party verification and consultation with psychologists, we learned that "women do not avoid their father" does not mean that there is no need to avoid the father.
This old saying, we need to use a dialectical perspective to understand . Generally speaking, the relationship between daughter and father will be closer.
Even after growing up, girls prefer to confide a lot of their thoughts with their father;
Moreover, even after being married, their daughters will act like a baby in front of their father as they did when they were young.
After all, " daughter is the lover of father's previous life".
The father is more distressed and tolerant to his daughter, and it is easier for the daughter to communicate with the father in terms of language.
For example, in the matter of finding a partner, the attitude of father and mother is very different. The father will be relatively tolerant and open-minded. As long as he passes his father’s inspection, the father is at ease to let his daughter continue to deal with objects and give her a certain amount of freedom. But being a mother is different. Being a mother is more trivial, but her daughter is unwilling to talk too much to her mother.
Therefore, we feel that "women do not avoid their fathers". We just say that daughters can get close to their fathers psychologically and spiritually, and such daughters will be like The father is just as strong, brave and wise.
If you understand it from this perspective, the mother-in-law's statement in the opening example is wrong. An 8-year-old child would have slept on his own for a long time, whether it was a boy or a girl.
Next, this involves a lot of parents' concerns. At what age should the child begin to sleep in separate beds with their parents?
It is usually recommended that children sleep in separate beds for 3 years old and in separate rooms for 5-6 years old. Because most children begin to have sexual consciousness budding around the age of , and they will gradually understand the physiological differences between men and women. Children who sleep with their parents or grandparents for a long time are especially likely to realize this earlier.
At the same time, from the perspective of cultivating children's independent ability, 3 years old is a relatively common and suitable dividing point. Starting from the age of 3, letting children gradually accept separate beds or sleeping in separate rooms can greatly improve the children's ability to take care of themselves.
However, the growth and development speed of each child is different, and when to sleep in separate beds does not necessarily have to be based on a specific age. A simpler and more convenient method is that parents can judge according to the daily performance of the child.
When the child has the following behaviors, he can consider sleeping in separate beds or in separate rooms
1. Have a more obvious gender awareness. Children begin to pay special attention to gender differences. They repeatedly emphasize that they are boys or girls. In kindergartens, they also prefer to play with classmates of the same sex.
2, consciouslyResist the contact of parents of the opposite sex. For example, the daughter doesn't like her father changing clothes or bathing her, or the neighbor's uncle hugs her.
3. Have a certain ability to be alone and take care of yourself. 3 Children around the age of 5 have basically been in kindergarten or kindergarten for a long time, and most of them have basic self-care skills, such as simple dressing, covering the quilt, and even brushing their teeth and bathing.
Of course, when the child sleeps in separate rooms, parents should pay attention to the method and adopt the principle of step-by-step and from the inside out to create a good inner and The external environment helps children slowly develop the habit of sleeping independently. For example, parents can spend more time on decorating their children’s room, or even take their children to buy dolls, bedding, etc. they like. These items will accompany the children to give them a sense of security and Sense of belonging. For another example, at first, mom and dad can spare 3-4 days a month to accompany their children to sleep together in his room, and then slowly pull away so that the children can fully get used to sleeping independently.
In short, as children grow up, sharing a room with their parents is a must-go process. Wise parents will cleverly guide their children through this level and help them take another big step towards independent milestones.
Interactive small window: What methods do parents use to successfully divide their children? Please leave a comment below.
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As the child grows up, any questions that arise can be answered by me. I hope these suggestions are helpful to your troubles and troubles.
I am Nanxi’s mother, and I have a pair of lovely children. If you want to know more about parenting, please follow me and we will share parenting experience together; if you like this article, please like or share To more people!
