01
Everyone must be responsible for their marriage. When they got married, they were the partner they chose, and they must admit whether they are good or bad after marriage. You cannot pass on the trouble to others just because your marriage is unsatisfactory, as this is unfair to others.
After a girl gets married, she must manage her marriage and family well. Only when her life is managed well can she have the ability to take care of others. It is not easy for every family to be a family member. They have to support the elderly and raise children, so they all have to work hard.
In a family of many children, married daughters always go back to their parents' home to ask for this and that. The brother and sister-in-law, brother and sister-in-law will be unhappy, and the parents are stuck in the middle and are in a dilemma. So a married daughter should know her. Don’t go back to her parents’ home to ask for things. You should bear what you should bear.
02
sister-in-law insists on marrying a gangster man. After marriage, the man does not work hard and the family is in financial difficulties, so she always returns to her parents' home to ask for money and goods. After the mother-in-law got sick, her daughter-in-law bought her a lot of supplements, and these supplements were taken away by her sister-in-law.
This happened at Xu Xingyue's house. After the things she bought for her mother-in-law were taken away by her elder sister-in-law, she was very angry, and her husband and father-in-law had a fight with her elder sister-in-law. Let’s listen to their family’s stories.
Self-reporter: Xu Xingyue
Age: 35 years old
Occupation: Primary school teacher
City: Yangzhong
03
2
When my husband and I got married, my aunt and sister-in-law had already gotten married and had two children. She was a full-time mother at home. My elder sister-in-law’s husband has no stable job and does odd jobs everywhere. He works here for two days and there for two days. He often fishes for three days and drys the net for two days, so the family’s financial conditions are not good.
In fact, when my aunt and sister-in-law wanted to marry this man, my in-laws and my husband were very opposed, thinking that this person was out of touch. But the eldest sister-in-law was like a possessive person and insisted on marrying him. In order to marry him, she would rather break off contact with her parents and younger brother.
Later, neither her in-laws nor her husband could do anything, so she could only help her. After my elder sister-in-law got married, she became pregnant not long after, and then she stopped working. My elder sister-in-law stopped working, and her husband was not in a position to make money, so the couple started a leniency mode.
The mother-in-law always helps them when she sees her daughter and son-in-law’s life is not good, and she always provides supplements to her elder sister-in-law. After I got married into my mother-in-law's house, I lived with my parents-in-law. My mother-in-law was afraid that I would have any objections, so she didn't give her to her sister-in-law on the surface, but instead gave her to her privately.
But because I spent a lot of money on a marriage for my husband and I, and later my father-in-law was sick, my in-laws didn’t have much money on hand. My mother-in-law can't help my elder sister-in-law like before, so my elder sister always comes back to her parents' house to get angry, so my mother-in-law is in a dilemma.
04
I gave birth to a son in the third year after I got married, and my mother-in-law helped us take care of the children. After my father-in-law recovered from his illness, she did odd jobs in a small private factory. My husband and I bear the expenses at home. My father-in-law’s income is pocket money for the old couple, so my mother-in-law took out a portion of the money from her father-in-law’s salary and gave it to her elder sister-in-law.
My father-in-law often scolds my mother-in-law and tells her not to give money to my elder sister-in-law. My father-in-law said that the old couple is old and have to save some money on hand. If they feel uncomfortable one day, they have to spend money to treat the disease. In such a situation as their daughter's family, they can't count on them anymore, they can only count on their son's family.
But my son's family is not light. My son and daughter-in-law want to buy a house and let the child go to a good school, so they have been saving money. My father-in-law felt that he could not ask his son’s family for money for everything, and they had to save some pension money and could no longer pay the money to his elder sister-in-law.
The husband also agrees with his father-in-law's opinion. The father and son often say that their mother-in-law told her not to give money to her elder sister-in-law. But the mother-in-law was in a dilemma and said that she didn't want to give money to her elder sister-in-law, but her elder sister-in-law made a pity with her. She felt sorry for her daughter, so she had to supplement her daughter.
When my son was 6 years old, one day my mother-in-law went to chase him, but she fell and broke her leg.I feel that my mother-in-law broke her legs in order to help us take care of the children, and I feel sorry for her. So I took care of all the housework and bought her a lot of supplements, wanting her to make up for it and get better as soon as possible.
05
I have to go to work during the day. My aunt and sister-in-law are full-time mothers and don’t have to go to work, so she will take her children back to her parents’ home during the day. Every time she came, the things I bought for my mother-in-law were gone, and she took them away.
When I come back from get off work and find that the things I buy are gone, I will ask my mother-in-law. Sometimes my mother-in-law said she had eaten it, sometimes she said she had put it away, and sometimes she would hesitate. Anyway, she just helped her sister-in-law cover up. I couldn't do anything to my mother-in-law, and I was very angry. I took care of her and she took care of my elder sister-in-law. What's the matter!
The husband and father-in-law will also scold her mother-in-law and are not allowed to give her things to her elder sister-in-law. The elder sister-in-law and his wife are both hands and feet, and they cannot go back to their parents' home to rely on their parents. My husband and father-in-law are scolding my mother-in-law, so I won’t talk about my mother-in-law anymore. They are both mother-in-law. I think my mother-in-law is really embarrassed. Who makes my daughter not do anything?
Later, my colleague wanted to buy some sea cucumbers for her mother. Because the price of sea cucumbers is very high, buying more can be cheaper, so she wanted to buy them with me. I thought that my mother-in-law broke her leg and was injured at home. My mother was in poor health, so she bought it with her colleagues.
I divided the sea cucumbers I bought into two parts, one was sent to my mother and the other was given to my mother-in-law. When I gave it to my mother-in-law, I repeatedly told her not to give it to my sister-in-law, because this sea cucumber is very expensive. I couldn't bear to eat it myself, because my mother-in-law was injured, so I gritted my teeth and bought it, with the purpose of letting her replenish her body.
06
My mother-in-law agreed to me at the time, but when my aunt and sister came the next day, the sea cucumbers were taken away again. I found out after get off work, and was really angry, so I couldn't help but say that I was going to say that I would never buy anything for my mother-in-law again.
At that time, my aunt and sister-in-law happened to be back. She came back and asked her mother-in-law how to eat sea cucumbers. After her husband and father-in-law found out, they scolded her aunt and sister-in-law together. Her husband said that not only did she not buy things for her mother, but she also came to get her mother's things. My elder sister-in-law cried poorly, saying that her husband couldn't make money and she had to take care of two children, and there was nothing she could do.
My father-in-law was so angry that she said that she had to marry that man at the beginning, but now she had to carry on her life. My elder sister-in-law said again that her parents-in-law always subsidizes them, so her parents also need to subsidize them, otherwise her husband would definitely say her.
The father-in-law was so angry that he couldn't even speak. The daughter and son-in-law ate both parents, and they were so confident that the two were still comparing each other. My father-in-law grabbed a stick beside him, then went to beat my elder sister-in-law and asked her to go back to her home and not go back to her parents' home in the future.
After a big fight, my elder sister-in-law finally stopped going back to my parents' home every few days, and my mother-in-law no longer supported my elder sister-in-law's home as before. Sometimes I still buy some things for my mother-in-law. She is helping us take care of the children. She has no credit and worked hard, but we no longer interact with our elder sister-in-law's family.
Conclusion:
You have to bear your own life. Xu Xingyue's elder sister-in-law does not consider the character of a man when looking for a partner. After marriage, she is not well financially, so she goes back to her parents' home to eat her parents. Such a person is very selfish at heart and treats his parents as an ATM. When his parents give birth to her, it seems like they owe her.
The eldest sister-in-law and her husband are actually the same type of people, but the eldest sister-in-law is not working in the name of raising children. The couple had no money, so they tried to squeeze their parents. They were really a top-notch couple.
For such children, parents must let them be "weaned". Only after weaning can they become independent and think that they have to rely on themselves in everything. If parents don’t wean them and help them again and again, they think it’s natural to rely on their parents.
Xu Xingyue's mother-in-law always supplements her daughter, but she didn't wean her daughter, so her daughter always comes back to rely on her parents. Xu Xingyue’s father-in-law is right. When the old couple is old, they have to save some pension money. If they cannot supplement their daughter like this, their parents should arrange their old age life.
Author: A creator in the emotional field, focusing on various issues in the emotional field, welcome to follow. Life is warmth because of love and love. Let us grow in love and spend every day in true love.
