It is said that men are always looking for every opportunity to meet different women when they are outside with colorful flags flying. Can women also have their own special friends of the opposite sex? A writer once said that a man's hundred boyfriends are not as good as a good woman; a woman's hundred girlfriends are not enough to replace a good man.
The previous relationships between men and women were relatively complicated. If you don't pay attention to these friends of the opposite sex, they will have a huge impact on the marriage.
A visitor talked to me about something that happened to her:
My husband, who has been married for ten years, has been watching live broadcasts every day to buy gifts for the anchor girl. The two of them had quarreled many times, but the husband refused to repent, and he plausibly said to her: I didn’t go to bed with her, why do you care so much about me?
She was very angry and felt that she should teach her husband a lesson, so she also downloaded several dating apps, and after chatting for a while, she found someone she could talk to. This man knows that she is married now, but he still greets her every day. Sometimes he even orders takeout for her when she works overtime.
She also thought that it would be good to have such a friend of the opposite sex, especially compared with her husband, this man is excellent in all aspects.
Until one day, this man called her and said that he came to her city on a business trip and wanted to meet him. She began to hesitate, if she went to meet or something happened, would it be equivalent to cheating on her?
Many women want to have a close friend and be with that person in their imagination. That person may be someone they cannot love in reality, or someone in their imagination who does not exist at all. This leads to indifference to their partner in reality and disharmony in their married life. In essence, this is considered spiritual infidelity.
Some people think that mental infidelity is still acceptable. After all, who doesn’t want to imagine more? Who doesn’t have their own male gods and goddesses? As long as the body is not cheating and the body is loyal to oneself, it is fine. Many men also believe that as long as they are physically loyal, they are loyal to this marriage.
But is this really the case?
In fact, when her husband started chatting with anchors online, or when she started downloading dating apps, their relationship had already gone into a big problem. Whether it was because of anger or wanting to find a replacement, this was the most intense and worst form of externalization, that is, internal conflicts turned into external conflicts, but no matter what the reason was, it could not be used as a reason for cheating.
So if we encounter similar problems, we might as well ask ourselves:
1. At what stage did the quality of your life as a couple reach a turning point?
2. What emotional needs do you meet in your relationship with your partner?
3. How do you manage happiness in an intimate relationship?
Mental infidelity will have a negative impact on the emotional relationship between two people. If it is allowed to develop, there is indeed the possibility of it developing into substantial infidelity, so we need to pay certain attention to it. And if someone in the relationship between two people cheats, the cheating party will definitely have a much colder attitude towards their partner.
The other party will not be in a good mood if he is treated coldly by his partner for no reason. The emotional relationship between two people will get worse and worse, and the impact on the relationship cannot be ignored.
However, after all, mental infidelity only exists at the ideological level and has no substantive actions, so it is actually difficult to discover it. And even if you find out, it may be difficult to get evidence to confront the other party, etc., as if the other party actually cheated.
If we want to discover and prevent the problem of mental infidelity in relationships (whether it is our own or the other party's), we must first understand what kind of mentality a person who has mental infidelity will have.
Many people are under great pressure and have nowhere to release themselves. Just like the example at the beginning, when they are under pressure, they want to find a way out, but if they go home without receiving comfort, understanding and encouragement from their partners, they will feel very frustrated. If they are complained and lectured by their partners again, they may explode and want to get rid of their state and seek other ways to be comfortable.
Another thing is that partners care too little about each other. It is very inappropriate for couples to usually not have a common topic, so he always feels that when communication is very difficult and you cannot understand the meaning, you feel the same pain that the two channels cannot connect. Maybe he knows that this is not good, but there are some things that he cannot control alone.
Another reason is that the marriage life of two people is not harmonious. Men cheat psychologically, most of them because their wives cannot satisfy their desires. Many women tend to neglect their husbands after they have a family and children. In the long run, men will be ignored for a long time and will easily turn their attention to women who can satisfy them. They will make some small movements, and their minds can't help but think about some things.
Finally, we discuss a question: Why do people always have the urge to look for emotional solutions outside of marriage?
To find answers to problems between two people from outsiders is the most fundamental mistake.
Anyone familiar with the psychology of close relationships knows the formula: Attraction + Obstacles = Excitement. People are most excited when they are in a state of imbalance and uncertainty, on the verge of ecstasy and disaster. In other words, the happier the marriage, the more shocking and contrasting the cheating methods. This is also called the "Romeo and Juliet effect."
The essence of marriage is bondage, commitment, and responsibility, and many people simply cannot adapt to it. The sense of freedom and control that gained through cheating and resisting the rules of marriage, as well as the richness and infinite possibilities of life experience, are the fundamental reasons why he has been unable to come back to you.
On the premise that there is no betrayal, if your marriage is still painful, then you need the assistance of a professional teacher to help you see the essence of the problem.
