1. Recognize the reasons why it is difficult to break
After a man was found to betrayal, the reason why he kept breaking may be because he was worried that his image would be damaged and he did not want to face his once bad self. What does
mean? When he and his third sister were together, they must have said a lot of things like this: The one who is in my family doesn’t understand me at all, he only knows to take care of me. After meeting you, I feel that I have regained hope. You are the gift given to me by God, and I will cherish you well, etc.
And now that he and this third sister are broken, he will inevitably face a series of questions from his third sister "Didn't you say you don't love your wife? Didn't you say you really love me?"
If you want the third sister to give up completely, you must deny this relationship and deny her former self. This is very difficult for him, so he has been slow to break up.
And the third sister also happened to be giving up, and there was nothing to lose for her.
The worst result is that the man gave up on himself and returned to his family. It is better to fight hard. Maybe he can grasp the man's heart. This may be the last straw in her life.
After being rejected by the man, he did not give up and even threatened the man to tell all the extramarital affairs of the two people so that all colleagues and friends could know. The man is naturally afraid of these things, so he wants to stabilize his third sister by procrastinating.
And many men betray both mentally and physically. There are also some sweet memories between him and his third sister. He is reluctant to give up the woman outside the marriage, and at the same time he is reluctant to give up the family he has worked hard to run for many years, and he is reluctant to give up the reputation of a good man he has worked hard in front of outsiders.
No matter how you choose, it will be difficult for him. He even hopes to be separated and someone can make decisions for him. After all, it is a manifestation of lack of responsibility and responsibility, and choosing to solve the problem by evasion.
2. Uniform front, establish alliance
When a man is unable to make a decision for a long time and avoids taking responsibility, from the perspective of his wife, you may think: You must force him to make a decision. You can't just watch him and his third sister have a broken relationship. What do you think of me?
But you will find that the tighter you force, the less your relationship will improve, and men will avoid you.
When you put pressure on a man every day, "Hurry up and break the woman clean, immediately, immediately!" men will feel very broken because you have been ordering him, and there is no room for conversation between you.
Every time he needs to spend half of his energy to resist the pressure you bring, and leave equal time to relieve his emotions and comfort himself.
The process of truly calming down to think and make choices is compressed, and he will want to escape from the bad environment and his poor self.
either continue to delay to escape, or is forced to make a choice in a hurry, but it is not sincere. Even if the connection is temporarily cut off, it is easy to be connected later.
So at this time, the original wife needs to shorten the selection period of the man.
The best way is to temporarily withdraw from your wife's position, not to let you divorce the man, but to unite the front with the man, not to regard yourself as his wife, but to an alliance or friend.
In this way, you will not be frustrated or injured because of your wife's identity, and are anxious to push the man to make decisions, push him further and further away, and things will go against your wishes.
You can say to a man like this: "I understand you and know it's difficult for you to make a choice, so I don't blame you, I will give you time. But from my perspective, every time I wait for one more day, I feel more suffering in my heart. I don't know if we can go back to the past.
So I want to hear your ideas, let's have a good chat, how to do it is the best choice for our family.You don’t have to worry, I am now as a friend, you can tell me honestly that there is no need to worry, let’s work together. "
3. Soft pressure, present a modern price
After he put down his tightness, opened his heart with you, and told you his thoughts, you can help him analyze the different scenarios that his different choices will lead to, as well as the advantages and disadvantages of for him after each choice, that is, the benefits and costs.
For example, you can say to him like this: "I know that giving up that third party is not an easy task for you, and you don't want to give up our family, but have you ever thought about the price behind this?
The three of us have been using this way, with all kinds of harm but no benefits. I can easily get emotionally broken, and I can't help but want to pay attention to your every move or even monitor you, so I can't help but argue.
I feel very tired, you can't feel trust, and you feel very suffocated. If you do this every day, it will inevitably affect your career development because you can't devote yourself to your work.
Although we have children, I will not use children to kidnap you, but you should have discovered that children are not as happy recently, they have talked less, and their grades have also dropped a lot.
I know you want to return to your family and are working hard, but our family has not improved because of this, right?
For the third party, you have not completely cut off your contact with her for a long time. This will only make her hope, and she has not lived well because of this. She has been using it like this and hurt more than one person.
I won't force you to make a choice, because I hope all the decisions you make are from the heart. But I need to present all these consequences for you, whether it is good or bad, or good or bad, you have to make a choice.
Don’t worry, no matter how you choose, I will respect you, but I will set a time limit in my heart. "
After saying this, it is equivalent to a kind of soft pressure . It not only considers his feelings , but also shows his position . It has no sense of oppression and is easier for men to accept. Most men can listen to it and will make changes, and eventually give up their third sister and return to their family completely.
