The remarriage in his later years has always attracted everyone's attention in many cases. There are even too many elderly people living alone in their later years want to find a companion to take care of each other and accompany each other. After all, remarriage in their current lives is no longer a rare thing. Instead, more people are willing to find someone who treats themselves sincerely and stays with them as much as possible in their single life. Especially in their later years, it is even more worth cherishing to let the two elderly people accompany each other and take care of each other.
However, with the increasing pressure of life and economic pressure now, many elderly people always care too much about material conditions and their efforts and rewards when they remarry in their later years. When all this is not equal enough, or even sincere enough, it is easy to lead to the lack of pure feelings and even more conflicts. We always say that young people's marriage choices pay too much attention to the pressure and economic conditions of reality, but why are the elderly?
No one wants the marriage chosen in their later years to fail and be terrible.
So when choosing a partner in his later years, what should I pay attention to? What requirements should be made clear in advance before remarrying? A 64-year-old aunt had sex three times in her later years and said she would rather choose a "chicken head" than a "phoenix tail".
self-teller, 64-year-old Aunt Chen:
I am Aunt Chen, and I am 64 years old this year. Speaking of my own life in my later years, I live a good life. At least for now, I am very satisfied with my current life. You must know that two years ago, my life was still a mess, and I don’t know how to support my old age in my later years.
I only have one child in my life. Before I was fifty-five, my life belonged to the child, including the child from childhood to adulthood. When I was young, I found a partner and entered marriage. But I don’t know when the marriage started. The relationship between us was already very tense. It can’t be said that it was because of some simple lifestyle and personal feelings. When I got married and lived together, I seemed to be in conflict everywhere, and it was hard to accept it everywhere. From a meal at home, a bunch of clothes became a contradiction for us to quarrel, and from all kinds of big things at home, I felt very sad.
, but I never chose to divorce because of the children. Because of the elderly in both families, they both advised not to divorce, so they lived like this. Our marriage was always right. It was not until the children got married that I had the courage to divorce him. I was already 50 years old that year of divorce.
divorce actually went smoothly because there was no emotion and no mutual ties. He did not object too much during the divorce. The house belonged to him and the deposit belonged to me. The debt was calculated carefully, and no one suffered any losses. He felt that he could accept it. I also began to plan my future life.
From the age of fifty to fifty-five, I have been living in my son's house for five years, mainly to help my son and daughter-in-law take care of their children, and to support me. At that time, I thought life was good and I could accept it in the future. But after all, it was my son's house, and conflicts between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law often occur, and life was not particularly comfortable. In order to avoid such conflicts, I began to have a new plan, that is, to move out. Because I don't have much savings, it is definitely unrealistic to buy a house, so I thought of renting a house first, and then I moved out and started living alone.
The first time I got together in my later years:
I felt very comfortable and happy when I lived alone. At that time, I also found a cleaning job. I worked and lived at the same time. I had enough money, and I had food and drink. I occasionally went to my son's house to check it out, and life also had hope. During that time, I met my first friend, Lao Li, and Lao Li also worked in the supermarket. I am a grocer. I am in my fifties this year. We met at work like this. We have a lot of contact with each other. We have learned a lot after a while. His wife passed away early. Later, he lived by himself and did not have a stable job. He has been working everywhere for many years. Now he has a house for himself, which is what he pursues on his own initiative. He hopes to live with me. I didn't refuse. I just wanted to take a look first. I was not married. I just lived with him and moved into his home.
To be honest, this relationship of living with a partner ended in less than two months. There were too many awkward things. I tried to see if the relationship was suitable for living with a partner. But he just wanted to get a marriage certificate. I felt that I was so old and it didn’t matter to get a certificate. But he felt that it was not a family who didn’t get a certificate, and he was unwilling to pay for it in vain. He was so petty, even if I had to charge me every month’s accommodation fee after I moved there, let alone things like buying vegetables and cooking. I really couldn’t stand his petty appearance, so I finally chose to give up.
The second time I had sex in my later years:
When I was 58 years old, I met a single opposite sex again. My colleagues around me introduced me to me. I had an ordinary job and normal conditions. I was one year older than me. I haven't retired yet, but I am about to retire. My wife passed away earlier. He lives by himself, without worries about food and drink, and his monthly income is not low. According to him, after retirement, he can get a pension of two or three thousand yuan a month. He lives a worry-free life and is not so petty. Instead, he is generous to me. He buys flowers and treats me to dinner. He even wants to ask me out for a trip several times. All kinds of behaviors made me feel very happy. He even thought he was worth getting along with and worth relying on. For him, I also quit for him. I stopped working the year he retired and started to retire with him.
We got our certificates, moved into his home, and started a retirement life.
The real pension life is still smooth. I have saved money over the years, and his pension is enough for both of us to live. But after living together for less than two years, I wanted to give up because of his attitude towards life. He ignored all major and minor things at home, and even called me around, as if I felt that I owe him. There were more and more quarrels. Every time he quarreled, he would say one thing:
"You eat mine and live in mine. Isn't it okay to put some effort into it? Why should I marry you back?"
His attitude is completely different from when I first met. I was quite sad for a while. In the past, I always felt that he was worthy of dependence and worth cherishing, but now I feel that this day has become what I owe him. There is no such companionship and care I want in my life, and I feel less and less uncomfortable.
The reason why I really decided to give up was that his son gave birth to a second child. He wanted me to go over and help take care of the baby. I opposed it. At that time, I was already sixty years old. I definitely didn't want to ask me to take care of the baby at this age. I refused him. As a result, he quarreled with me and said that if I didn't go to take care of the baby, I wouldn't live with me. Moreover, he spoke very firmly, and I couldn't stand it in the end, so I separated directly. I went back to my son's house to live.
The third time I got together in my later years:
At that time, I was also very disappointed with my marriage and didn't want to look for it anymore. I just wanted to retire with my son. But by chance, I met Lao Zhao who was resting in a wheelchair while wandering in the park. I was the same age as me and was a retired factory leader. My retirement salary was 7,000 or 8,000 a month. Although I am now disabled and need to live in a wheelchair, he also hired a nanny to take care of him, and his life is still very comfortable.
After a brief contact, we made an appointment to come to the park to chat and talk every day. After a long time, we became in love. He said to me:
"If you don't dislike it, let's live together. I think you are a pretty good person, have a good personality, and are also real. Do you think you are willing or not? If you are willing, don't worry about it in the future. If we live our lives, if you feel tired, then keep the nanny. If you don't feel tired, then the nanny will quit. I retired, it will cost five or six thousand yuan to hire a nanny in a month, which is quite expensive. "
I also thought it was quite good after hearing this, because I can still accept him, he is good, and he doesn't lose his temper. Although he is sitting in a wheelchair, he is very optimistic. Some elderly people are disabled in their later years and don't even want to go out. They are very open-minded. They go out for a walk, stroll, and even travel. They can hire a nanny if they can't go. His personality makes me like it very much, so after thinking about it, I decided to live with him.
This time the remarriage is very simple. There is no big fucking or getting a marriage certificate. He said it on his own initiative. He said:
"At all of you, you don't care about those things anymore. After getting married, you don't have to worry. I just need to bear the expenses at home. The nanny's words are still the same. If you feel tired, then keep it first. If you don't feel tired, then the nanny will quit. Let's use the money you keep."
The days afterwards I just went on like this and the nanny fired because I was too shameful to spend money randomly. He agreed, but he took the initiative to make a decision, giving me 5,000 yuan a month. The 5,000 yuan was allowed to control me and let me be the master. I was quite at ease. It was not tiring to take care of him normally. After all, my health was pretty good, and taking care of him was enough. I often had a wheelchair when I went out, which was quite convenient. The most important thing was that there was no major conflict in the process of getting along with us, and he was not petty with me. I also tried my best to treat him, which would naturally make our relationship very happy.
In addition, his two children are also good to me. They usually bring me nutritional supplements when they go home, which is also good to me. I am quite satisfied with the marriage I chose this time.
After experiencing such three times in my later years, I also understood in my heart that I would rather choose a "chicken head" than a "phoenix tail" when remarrying in my later years. Some people may have average conditions, but they are easy to be petty. Some people may have bad conditions, but they can live a better life. After all, some people remarrying in my later years is for enjoyment, some people make do with it, and some people live a life. Often, ordinary and average conditions are more likely to cause conflicts. After all, when both sides are evenly matched, they want to be the master, so naturally there will be conflicts.
Do you think my choice is right?
